How Players Should Treat Women

20NationWomen19 Comments

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how players should treat women

Most of you on this website are guys who think like myself. You are most likely a guy who has a higher than average sex drive and a lust for adventure. That is, basically, what this website is all about. Because of this it is very likely you are a player. Why do I say that? Because inside of every man, is the desire to sleep with many different women.

Don’t believe me? Ask any guy who disagrees if he only masturbates to one porn actress. I rest my case. This drive is very strong, especially in guys like us. We do not have to apologize for this high sex drive, we don’t have to torture ourselves and not do what our deepest instincts are screaming at us to do. We can, will and do sleep with a huge amount of women because at our deepest level it makes us happy. This… is a good thing. However, there are good ways to go about doing this and bad ways, and they all have to do with how you treat the girls you sleep with. Here is how I believe players should treat women.


Making sure she has a great time with you

The better you are with women, the better you are at this part. A good player will make the date something she genuinely enjoys. After all, if you don’t do that, you may not end up getting laid. It’s something that guys who sleep with a lot of girls don’t get credit for: women tend to have a great time with these men. And that’s the way it should be, whether it lasts a night or years.


Kicking her out

Sometimes, after sex, our hormones die down and our logical brain takes over again. It’s in these moments that we realize (sometimes for the first time) that we don’t like these girls at all. The only thing making us feel something for these girls was passion. What happens then is an overwhelming desire for the girl to leave.

This is where many players can be the biggest dicks. I’ve been there. I came, I’m sleepy and I just want to be alone. I want to just call her a taxi or Uber and be done with it, but… I have learned to fight that urge.

No girl wants to feel like she was just used. Even if, before sex, you thought you would keep seeing her. From her point of view, it doesn’t matter. So to have good player etiquette you should ignore this, just for a bit.

After sex tease her a bit, ask some interesting pillow talk questions and cuddle. Make her feel like she wasn’t just used. Maybe watch or finish watching a movie. Then, use an excuse for why she has to go. “I don’t want you here.” Is not a good excuse, although it may be true. “I have to wake up early for work/ go to work.” is good, or you could use “I told my friend we would meet up soon.” These are called white lies, unimportant lies told not to hurt the person.

She just helped you with your insatiable desire for sex, so even if it wasn’t like you imagined, I feel like you have a responsibility to not make her feel like shit. Compliment her a bit on the amazing things about her (almost every girl I ever met had a couple really incredible characteristics). Boost her confidence a bit before you end up kicking her out. This will also help her look at her experience with you in a positive light and not a negative one.


Paying for transportation, dinner, etc.

I have changed in this over the years, but I have found a way to do this that is ethically good. Basically, I look at the means of the girl and I judge it from there. If the girl is a poor university student, with nothing to her name, I may buy her dinner, and I will most definitely send her home in an Uber. However, if the girl has plenty of money, but just expects me to do all this because I’m the man, then I will charmingly decline. This also depends on their culture because there are some cultures where women just don’t pay for anything and as a traveler you may run into that, but usually I stick to this way of deciding what to pay for.

Before sex, I will many times just do what I can so that the moment isn’t ruined. Like if I had a great date and I can tell a girl is really into me, and then she looks at me when the check comes, I will just pay it. It’s not worth killing the vibe to go off of principal (especially before you slept with her).


Letting her down gently

This is something that players have to do hundreds of times. I have tried every single way of letting a girl down and there is one way that is clearly the least hard on them: the fade away.

Many girls will tell you “Just be honest if you don’t want to see me again.” They may think they believe that, but they don’t. I’ve done it that way and almost every single time the girl becomes hurt. Whether they show that in sadness or anger, it’s always the same. That’s why you want to do the fade away.

If she writes you again, don’t ignore her message, but don’t be overly enthusiastic either. The idea is that you don’t rock her psychologically at any time. You let her down easily. You are still respectful and nice, but she gets the hint that you aren’t interested in a delicate way. Then, you slowly stop talking to her.

When you do this right, this is what goes through a woman’s mind:

“Oh he is cold, it’s possible I won’t see him again, but who knows.”

Then a couple days later: “Yeah he hasn’t responded much, but he is starting to fade from my mind because we haven’t talked much.”

Then a week later: “I had a great time with him so I won’t forget him, but I see it won’t get anywhere so I will only think of him from time to time from here on out.”

It is very important that you are not charming after you decide you don’t want to see her again, but also that you don’t straight up ignore her. When you ignore a girl you actually make her like you more, so this will make it more difficult for her.


“Are you sleeping with other women?”

The answer to this question will of course depend on what kind of a relationship you have with the girl. With girls you just met and slept with for the first time, it’s easier to blow off the question. However, when it is a girl you really like and have been seeing a bit, it gets more complicated.

In this situation I do all I can to not answer the question (if I intend on seeing other girls). When you dodge the question, she will obviously see what you are doing. She will suspect you are seeing other girls, but when she confronts you and asks:

“Are you sleeping with other girls?”

Respond “You are the only girl I have feelings for, what do you think?” It’s true, she is the only girl you have feelings for or you wouldn’t be dating her for so long. But you, as a man, have a strong desire to sleep with other women and as a player you have the looks, skills, charm, etc. to be able to pull it off. So you aren’t quite ready for that. You are responding in an honest way without having to say that you are fucking other girls.

I have tried many different responses to this question and I can tell you that making her confront the reality that you are sleeping with other girls will be very hard on her. Much harder than her continuing to simply suspect you are. In my opinion, this is the best way to go about it.

While fucking other girls, it’s best to only go raw with your main girl. You have feelings for her and, most likely, the other girls are just sex. It’s best not to risk giving the girl you care about an STD from a tinder slut you met.


This is How Players Should Treat Women

This is how I think players should treat women. If there is anything I missed, feel free to add it in the comments below. If you disagree with anything I said, you can respectfully do so in the comments as well. I am currently in Colombia and have a bit of free time, so if anybody wants to do an hour long Skype consult call with me, I will be able. I’ve now done hundreds of these and never once has somebody felt like they didn’t get their money’s worth. The information about your future trip, girls or game are things that can save you thousands of dollars or hours if you have to figure it out yourself. If you are interested email me at

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I'm an American who has spent all of the last 6 years traveling the world and seducing women which has given me a level of expertise that can change your life. Check out my books: 1) The Key Logger 2) The Perfect Conversation 3) What Makes a Woman Want You 4) Elite Online Dating 5) Signs She Likes You 6) 9 Laws of Attractive Body Language 7) The Single Guy's Playground: Sex and Adventure in South East Asia and more. Or get all 9 of my books for 60% off (only $31.99) Like getting 6 of 9 books free!

  • Mark Zolo

    Me Gusta. Good tips bro. Agree with the principal thing. I know guys who would insist on splitting round of beer even the dirt poorest country with a women who who almost nothing. It’s seems so cheap.

    • Yeah, that’s just asking them to do way too much. Sometimes they would have to work all day for that one round of drinks. However, when girls for those countries offered to pay for something small for me, it always meant so much. The gesture many times would mean so much(even though it’s just a couple dollars) that I would want to keep seeing a girl like that.

  • jayteeniftb

    This advise is utterly useless for ongoing players, as it takes away the very reason (don’t give a fuck about what women think) that they get laid.
    Only helpful for men looking to mature into husband material, or to those looking to dodge the feminist legal system.

    • You really think not giving a fuck about what women think will get you laid? Not caring about how you look? How you dress? The tone of your voice? If you don’t care about women think why are you walking up to them and talking to them? Asking them out. It reminds me of guys who are new and just starting out. They want to cling to a single simple statement and use it for all situations, when women are much more complicated than that. Being a bit aloof and uncaring on a date is good, being too much will just make a boring date. In fact, for me the hardest part is getting myself to care about the date. Now after going on maybe thousands of dates. To nail a date, I have to care. The girls I meet who aren’t that cute are the girls I have the hardest time with, because it’s harder for me to care about putting in effort.

      You shouldn’t treat women like shit just because you think it will get you laid. It’s what “Nice guys” who know nothing about game try to do. “Oh if I am a dick, then I will start getting laid.” They are then a dick to the girl and she never talks to him again. You can’t simplify a complicated subject, and a good date is like playing chess with a girls brain and deepest instincts.

    • jayteeniftb

      Okay okay. I will never again imply that you are over your player days and veering towards intimacy territory required of a husband. Sorry about the response.

    • Ah yeah I was just responding to the first part of your comment. The second part could be true, I am becoming more and more ready to settle down. But my game is still much better than ever.

    • Danny

      posted something with a link to youtube, did it get blocked due to the link or did you delete it yourself?

    • I didn’t delete it. I think it thought it was spam or something and deleted it. I don’t delete comments, and just twice ever have I banned anybody.

    • Danny

      im with you 20Nation.
      Being a player doent mean you have to be an asshole
      In my case, i opted long ago to not tell lies. I hang out with girls, i try to have fun with them while honestly (but not in a rude way) not showing signs of having further intentions
      I enjoy the whole process, not like a terminator with the target on my head “my only mission is to shoot my shit into you”
      I like making new friends, my fuck mates know they can call me when they need me. Sometimes even to ask me for advice on their relationship with their boyfriends
      Most of the girls i fuck have the same interests as me, just have fun. We have fun, fuck, enjoy and go on with our lives. If they are horny, they can text me again. If anyone of us breaks the unwritten laws of the booty call, it´s over
      Sometimes I bumped into some girl desperate for a relationship. In that case I just let it fade away, or do whatever to get rid of her causing the minimum possible trouble.
      The concept of “girls desperate for a relationship” is interesting. It leads some guys to think they are terribly attractive and important, it sets them up like hell. But they shouldnt confuse it, these girls are not into them, just want a relationship no matter with whom. These girls will forget them as soon as they find something better

      I remember in university one of my fuckmates told me girls in my class liked to fuck me because i was fun and wouldnt say anything to the others. I wasnt especially handsome but this got me a lot of girls. Now im happy to not have been a jerk back then

    • Yeah but some girls (sometimes depends on what culture they are from) are just not going to look for a fuck buddy. Just how it goes. I’ll admit I’m not quite as upfront as you. But I also don’t lie. I just say I am interested in them. And sometimes a girl I think I may only spend a night with, I end up having a great time and great sex with and end up seeing her a lot more. Still, I don’t have any girls who are angry at me. Who miss me, sure, but no girl doesn’t talk to me because of me being a dick.

  • Edward Easterling

    Really good article. Myself, I like to cuddle, talk, and wake up with the woman after we have sex, unless it’s daytime. Then we are expected to go somewhere or go our separate ways. But I think you are correct. This article gets 2 thumbs up from me.

  • Max

    Hi 20
    Colombia again?!
    Why dont U go to a country U never explored like in in Africa or in the middle east? That would be more challenging for you and more exciting to read for us

    • Well now i’m not making as much money as I was before, so it mostly has to do with that. Have to change up how I’m making my money.

    • Splooge

      Oh dont get the poor guy killed….though it would involve using online game in city for westerns zed rebellious circle….its a formula at this point.
      Although curious of argentina…hottest latinas n super hard to get

    • Haha africaa I want. I have an article in Egypt and Turkey you can check out. Those places were very interested

  • patrick

    what i can say after learning from these guys’ writing is that they must be very attractive–good physical looks–maybe great–and just great body language control.

    • I would say I am above average in looks. I’m actually much more attractive now at 30 than I was in my early 20’s because I know how to maximize my looks and I have much better body language and game.

  • nordlyst

    I think you’re creepy and lack a working moral compass.

    Lying and avoiding questions may be a tactic that arouses less emotional distress right there and then. But only because the truth is terrible from her point of view! You used her, and imagine that’s ok if you can leave her not entirely sure that you did, she just thinks you probably did.

    Conveniently, this advice is always of the kind that minimizes any confrontation you might have to endure with how you’ve made her feel.

    Do you seriously believe what you’re doing when you avoid answering a direct question “are you sleeping with other women?” is actually in her best interest? She may not be or at least show as much anger at the time, but she might waste years and grow truly fond of you, especially if she’s the type prone to wishful thinking.

    You can’t help if your sex drive is high. But being a civilized human being means you don’t punch people in the face because you dislike their opinions, and you don’t indiscriminately follow your basic sexual instincts either without considering other people.

    I’ve heard a lot of guys defend this kind of thing by laying it all on her. If you don’t answer when she asks if you sleep with other girls, she should understand that means you do. I agree, she should. I’m not saying the girls are not doing anything stupid. I’m saying that doesn’t make it ok to take advantage of her, to use her.

    I realize that being honest about what you want is going to be difficult, because there probably aren’t any women out there that have reciprocal wants. You want to screw as many twenty-somethings as possible, but since very few if any of them want to just have one night stands with older guys, you reckon you have to lie. But I have some news for you: every guy wants to fuck as many twenty year old women as they possibly could! You don’t need an abnormal sex drive to want that, or to want to screw have four of them at a time. Some of us however also want to have love, to like ourselves, and be kind to others – even more than we want to screw all the hot women we see everywhere. We watch a porno instead. As you point out yourself, once you’ve come you can be a mensch again for a little while.

    I know you’re saying this lifestyle makes you happy. I think you’re trying to convince yourself.

    • So you could argue people use eachother all the time. You can also argue that many people who help other people are using them to feel good about themselves. You use your friend for companionship. You use your parents for support. You use your teacher for learning.

      The other thing is, I don’t go in planning to use a girl for sex. I always hope she impresses me with my personality and is a girl I really click with.

      And yes, having done both, many times. I have seen very clearly that it is much easier on them when they are slowly let down, in comparison to all at once. This isn’t what I started out thinking, it’s mountains of data that led me to this.

      Here’s the final thing. Almost all these girls enjoyed the time they spent. They keep messaging me and wanting to know about me. I’ve asked girls if they wished they never met me and not one (who wasn’t angry at the moment) has ever said yes. In fact it was the opposite. I’ve had many girls tell me that they would prefer to actually feel something for a fleeting moment with me than years feeling nothing with somebody who didn’t make them feel like i did.

      So no. I don’t treat women badly. They always enjoy the time we spent together, the only thing that causes problems is when I don’t see them again. And still none of these girls are angry because I never promised them anything. I didn’t promise to see them again, or to be my girlfriend or that I loved them. I didn’t lie to them so they always were aware of the possibility of it not working out.