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#1
I wanted to post something about game/dating in general but didn't find a couldn't find a "general" thread so I decided to make this one.

Either way, earlier today I hit up a non-English speaking Latina online. She replied away and was cool with grabbing a drink. I suggested a place like 15 mins from us but she declined and invited me to her place for dinner. She was going to cook. My red flag radar started going off. Finished working out, gave her a call to check her out....she's real and cool but kinda quiet. She lives alone and only has 2 pictures on her profile. I pull up to her complex and it looks run down as fuck. Just got laid last night so I decided to play it safe and left. As I drove out, there was a dude like 4 meters/yard from her unit just chilling. Maybe I'm paranoid, maybe not. Either way, I texted her that I had a fender bender with some illegal Salvadorian down and we'll have to meet another time. She was understanding and asked if I needed anything.

Dunno, I grew up in some ghetto apartments but even those were worse than mine...felt iffy especially with all those stories about guys walking into empty apartments and getting mugged/killed. I had a situation years ago where I got shaken down after going straight to a girls home. No need to get into risky situations, especially if I just got laid. I'll hit her up again when I return to town and propose we meet somewhere public.
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#2
Holy shit just had a nightmare first date with a Navy chick.

She walks up to my house looking like she hasn't slept in days. Her eyes are barely open. I'm like uhhh you good? She doesn't shut up about how tired she is the entire time. If she isn't complaining about her fatigue, she is complaining about her knee injury, or how accident-prone she is, and all of her other injury stories. I don't think she asked me more than one or two things about myself the entire time. I made an effort to get to know her, but she did not reciprocate in the least.

At the bar she only drank black coffee while I sipped a beer. None of the "moves" I usually do on a date worked. She refused to participate because of how tired she was. I'm talking about staring contest, thumb war, fake palm read...All moves from Bang that I use on dates with success usually, but it was like she was on a different planet.

We walk outside and I offer my arm and she says "no I'm good thanks." Okay...I take her back to her car and we hug goodbye, she apologizes for her fatigue and I go for a kiss. She rebuffs me and says, "Uh, I don't KNOW YOU. Nice try though." WTF!

I don't understand girls like this. Why the fuck are you on a dating app, making plans, making phone calls (she called me and wanted to talk for like an hour), driving an hour to a strange dudes house, but not even making an effort to have fun or get to know the other person? It was like...I don't know, she just wanted someone to soundboard off of or something.

I'm pissed and horny.
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#3
Shoulda cut the date short - your gut was already telling you she was lame.

Military chicks are fucking weird man, rarely do you find a chill one, at least in my experience in navy/army girls.

Marines are a whole different story.
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#4
^ Yea I felt bad man, she drove an hour in shitty Cali traffic. I wanted to give a solid effort to get some play. All said and done now, did my best and it's an L. Oh well, on to the next one!

edit: Think I will cut the date short in the future, like you said. Tired of wasting my time.
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#5
I fucked a 24 year old the Thursday before Memorial Day. We made plans to do something on Memorial Day, but she flaked on me and I didn't hear from her that day.

She texted me Tuesday and apologized and asked what days I was free. I ignored her and then she texted me again on Friday calling me a "baby" and being butthurt. Haha I responded with "I don't have time for flakes". She apologized again and said it wasn't her intent to disrespect me. So...we made plans for last Sunday. She texted me last Saturday and cancelled.

I should have never replied to her after her first flake.
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#6
(06-05-2019, 03:57 AM)Checkmat Wrote: I don't understand girls like this. Why the fuck are you on a dating app, making plans, making phone calls (she called me and wanted to talk for like an hour), driving an hour to a strange dudes house, but not even making an effort to have fun or get to know the other person? It was like...I don't know, she just wanted someone to soundboard off of or something.

There's no courting anymore. Some chicks literally don't know "how to date". Like, get rested, clean up, think of things to talk about in advance, make your best impression. They are unaware that there's any subtext going on, like that people tend to meet in a public place for a reason and that hanging out at your house might imply you're going to bang.

Her idea of "dating" is not distinct from her idea of having "guy friends" who she was shooting hoops with in high school, or bullshitting with other guys in the Navy. She just thinks that's what you do.
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#7
I've been home from Japan for 10 weeks now and suddenly matches on the usual dating apps are coming through in huge numbers. Makes no sense to me. While I was in Tokyo, I got maybe ten matches in two weeks' time, then randomly after being home for nearly three months I suddenly get several dozen in a week? Super frustrating.
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#8
Jetset,
It’s a sorry state of affairs.

In contrast was my date last Friday with a girl who was very present, engaging, polite and mature. She gave rich answers to my questions, without rambling, and would follow up with “and how about you?” She asked personal questions about my life, made jokes and showed interest in being on the date with me.

Girls like last night make me appreciate the good ones so much more.
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#9
I filter chicks with my "1 Drink Rule".

If she's dull, boring, doesn't look good, I'm not hoooked or vice versa - then I bounce after the first drink.

I always tell the girl we could meet up for a "quick drink" since I've got a busy schedule.

A perfect out if I'm not feeling the girl - if I am then of course you tell her "I'm surprised I'm staying for another drink and cutting into my sleep etc"

Which is all true, don't waste time on boring or loser chicks.

It's rare to have one of these girls end up in your bed the same night or for a second date.
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#10
Kaotic, I've been experimenting with more active dates, like the indoor trampoline place, then bouncing for drinks immediately after. Do you always do a quick drink for a first date, or do you ever mix it up?
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#11
(06-05-2019, 09:34 PM)Checkmat Wrote: Kaotic, I've been experimenting with more active dates, like the indoor trampoline place, then bouncing for drinks immediately after. Do you always do a quick drink for a first date, or do you ever mix it up?

To be honest I keep it simple with a drink, if they don't drink (which is rare) I'll still meet up at a bar and hang in a booth, maybe shoot pool and get to know them a bit.

It's a real simple formula, low investment of time.

I might occasionally go bowling for a first date, but almost all my dates are evenings around 7/8PM and usually located at a bar near my gym or by my house, at most a halfway meeting point at another bar I frequent.

Sometimes I don't even drink, tell the bartender to charge me for a drink and give me a tall water with lemon and ice.

They're very understanding.
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#12
So I'm living in NYC right now, and am running into a stumbling block in my game. I get girls to meet me locally, and usually refuse (indirectly) to go anywhere else to meet them on a first date. I feel like this signals they are jaded by the game, too assertive, and likely not down for the bang. So I usually just write these girls up as losses to begin with. I'm beginning to question whether that's the right attitude, though. I feel like meeting them would start me at a disadvantage from which I wouldn't recover. Any thoughts?
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#13
(06-06-2019, 12:32 AM)churros Wrote: So I'm living in NYC right now, and am running into a stumbling block in my game. I get girls to meet me locally, and usually refuse (indirectly) to go anywhere else to meet them on a first date. I feel like this signals they are jaded by the game, too assertive, and likely not down for the bang. So I usually just write these girls up as losses to begin with. I'm beginning to question whether that's the right attitude, though. I feel like meeting them would start me at a disadvantage from which I wouldn't recover. Any thoughts?

What do you mean you refuse to go anywhere else? Do you stay in your borough? I generally won't drive more than 30 minutes to meet a girl on a first date.
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#14
(06-06-2019, 12:32 AM)churros Wrote: So I'm living in NYC right now, and am running into a stumbling block in my game. I get girls to meet me locally, and usually refuse (indirectly) to go anywhere else to meet them on a first date. I feel like this signals they are jaded by the game, too assertive, and likely not down for the bang. So I usually just write these girls up as losses to begin with. I'm beginning to question whether that's the right attitude, though. I feel like meeting them would start me at a disadvantage from which I wouldn't recover. Any thoughts?

I do what you do but recognize there are tradeoffs.

Getting a girl to invest in you is a sort of yes ladder.  So its a good tactic.

It sets the frame that you are the prize, dominant.

Its also good for logistics.

But realize that your requests are like a funnel.  You might lose some prospects.  To me, that's OK because my time is valuable and I don't have much patience.  When I meet a girl, its a pretty high probability encounter.  But you are going to lose some prospects.  But its better to invest in your best leads than to run over town following every lead.  Especially in a place like NYC where there are a lot of leads.

Some girls asks for Uber, which I'm fine with.  It makes them less likely to flake, and I know exactly when they will arrive.  It also saves me time, money on parking, etc.
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#15
(06-06-2019, 01:17 AM)Checkmat Wrote:
(06-06-2019, 12:32 AM)churros Wrote: So I'm living in NYC right now, and am running into a stumbling block in my game. I get girls to meet me locally, and usually refuse (indirectly) to go anywhere else to meet them on a first date. I feel like this signals they are jaded by the game, too assertive, and likely not down for the bang. So I usually just write these girls up as losses to begin with. I'm beginning to question whether that's the right attitude, though. I feel like meeting them would start me at a disadvantage from which I wouldn't recover. Any thoughts?

What do you mean you refuse to go anywhere else? Do you stay in your borough? I generally won't drive more than 30 minutes to meet a girl on a first date.

I usually give them a place to meet, and I don't accept any deviation from that. It irritates me when girls try to take charge in that way. Either they want me to come to where they work (same burrough) or a station in the middle. But it's like, bitch why are you getting petty or competitive? Just signals low interest to me. This especially happens from the washed out mid-twenties girls on hinge. Ironically, the guys that will actually bend to their wishes are the not going to attract them in the first place. Women are retards.
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#16
Gonna ramble a bit to get this off my chest.

Like I mentioned in my introduction, I'm transitioning into a new career at the moment and my time in my current locale is limited. I'll be off for training for 4 months come the end of the year and an inter-state relocation will follow as well.

My intentions for the time being were thus, simply to get laid, maybe create a small harem of 2-3 girls for casual sex until I depart the area. This has been mostly fruitless, save for two notches (a 45-year old Filipina with a great body, and a 27-year old cop who I wrote about elsewhere). The Filipina has a dogshit personality and hasn't put any effort into continued investment. We've had two dates and I fucked her several times, both times. There's no emotional connection but I enjoy a hard body to throw around.

The cop I met last week and had a first date with, and it was fireworks. She isn't the prettiest girl in the world, but her body is fantastic. We hit it off the entire night, had wild sex four times and she left with a smile on her face. I felt a real connection with her. And this is where I became emotionally invested. Like a naive child, I began fantasizing about seeing her in the future, about dating etc. I thought to myself, finally a good one with the character traits I want in a girl! And I was counting the hours until an appropriate time to follow-up text her and set up a second rendezvous.

So I texted her about 20 hours after she left my house, "hey I had fun last night." Her reply came 20 minutes later, "I did too Checkmat Wink" I waited a few more hours to text her "we should hang out again sometime". Her reply of "I absolutely agree" came about 80 minutes later. At this point I was worried, because prior to our date her response times were within minutes. Now they are exceeding an hour.

I hit her up the following day to inquire about her schedule. She replied over an hour later with Friday being free, and inquiring the same with me. I matched her response time and told her "same, shall we?" she responded close to an hour later with a sexual text "I feel like being owned again, so yes." My response was "good girl" and she replied "you speak my language" about 90 minutes later.

Even though on paper she seemed to be interested, I noted the vastly longer response times and wondered if she was losing interest. Her immediate reference to sex made me think maybe she is just interested in fucking and nothing else. Most girls seem to make a pretense of not wanting to be seen as a booty-call, but this girl seemed to be communicating "I liked the way you fucked me, so I'll see you again".

Yesterday being Wednesday I pinged her in the afternoon, "I'm thinking 8pm for Friday" and was met with no response. I waited 8 hours and still nothing. Undeterred, I sent a follow-up of "sound good, deputy?" which was met with a 20 minute reply "sounds good fed".

Wanting to gain more investment from her, I sent a cheeky "cool. in the mean time maybe you can help me with something". She replied over an hour later with a terse, "what?" and I matched her reply time with "I can't remember what that booty looks like", fishing for a sexy pic. Part of this was because my buddy wanted to see what she looked like (he has been most gracious with sharing pics of his latest notches) but also I wanted to cement more investment from her.

That last text has gone unresponded to, and of course I feel like a dork. No doubt she has multiple dudes in her rotation, and she certainly isn't stressing about my interest level. I'm banging my head around wondering how the fuck we can have such a great date and have what I thought was an amazing connection, but her be so blase about it. The other half of me is like, Checkmat, have you learned nothing over the years? Are you still getting oneitis so easily?

Tinder has dried up lately and I haven't been in the mood to cold approach. I double-booked Friday since the unanswered text with the Filipina agreeing to come over at 8pm. I also have a small lunch date lined up with my ex-LTR whom I can say I have no more feelings for, thus am allowing myself an opening to maybe spin her as a plate. She is still very emotional about me.

There is another female cop who has sent me sexual pics and we had a phone convo a while back, but we have not met yet. She agreed to a date in a couple of weeks when I'm in her town to visit my son.

Then there is an old plate of mine who wanted to come visit me for a weekend, but I'm averse to it. She is pretty enough, a tall mixed black/white girl who enjoys sex but I feel zero connection to her, and am annoyed by her personality after I bust my nut. No way could I handle her for 48hrs without hating life.

Anyway...Just rambling here and getting this crap off my chest. Slept like shit last night and going to train some jiu-jitsu in an hour. In a couple of months I'll look back on this and chuckle.
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#17
^ You gotta cut that cop loose. Move on and forget her. It sucks but it is what it is. If you were a priority, she would have responded in timely fashion.

Take solace in the fact you fucked her. So in the end, you won.
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#18
Cops carry a ton of emotional baggage, I dont think they make good partners in my experience.  Cops in general in my opinion are likely to have a jaded and toxic personality, and that shit runs off on women.  I dont even like dating women who have had LTRs with cops, let alone female cops,  dont think that shit has ever worked.
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#19
^ Thanks for the encouragement guys. Going to have to cut her loose indeed.

I wish I had some lesson to take away from this L, but I'm not sure if I could have done anything differently.

The first sign that something was off was after our fourth time fucking, we were lying in bed all touchy and lovey with each other, admiring each other's naked body, and I was just enjoying the moment. And she says, "So, I'm probably not going to stay over." I was surprised, but of course agreed immediately and said "of course. Head on out in a few minutes?" and she agreed and left shortly after.

I did feel in that moment that somehow I looked weak or something. Maybe I should have taken the lead on kicking her out early. Maybe she thought I was way too generous with my after-sex time. I was enjoying myself immensely, and she seemed really happy and content too. Was just taking it all in and feeling happy.

She did just get out of an LTR a month ago. Maybe she has feelings for her ex still, or is having regret of some kind. Whatever the case is, she is not FUCK YES about Checkmat so off she goes! I've wasted enough time and energy thinking about someone who isn't interested in me.
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#20
Checkmat I honestly think you're overanalyzing the texts.

You're definitely showing a bit of needyness and also worried about response times.

Girls can smell this from a mile away.

Even you admitted you're wasting time and energy about THINKING about her being interested in you.

It should be the other way around.

Just slow your roll and send a restart text in a few days see if she responds, I bet anything she'll hit you up for dick.

You motioning she just got out of an LTR makes sense as why she's probably detached.

Her leaving could be a variety of reasons - cops are fun to fuck, that's about it, like Repo mentioned that got a ton of issues.

I'm not saying always to have low expectations of girls, but you should probably match their level of energy.
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