Meetups: Are they worth it? Lessons learned.
#1
A huge bit of dogma on RVF was meetups. Vetting. All that shit. Here's how it went for me, take it as a cautionary tale:

I was too scared to meet people in the USA because of political angle of RVF, versus more netural sites like RSD's Forum.

Met my first forum member abroad several years ago when I was no longer in the US. He said he would be in town and I talked to him on the phone for a few minutes tops and we decided to meetup. I was so jumpy on this meetup I brought a friend as backup. I was watching my beer thinking it was spiked with something. Anyway, I finally realize he's chill and we go party. This guy is confident and having women. The women we're with tell me as much, when he walks to get a beer. Part ways with the guy at the end of the night, and my friend looks at me, and says, damn that dude's solid and he's a foreigner just like you. He's cool as hell. Never see him again, and never encounter him again on the forum. First meetup-huge success.

I meet another guy abroad we talked for a few months sending PMs. Have a lot in common. Meetup, just try to tell him some of the things i've learned in this city since getting here. and he seems pretty grateful. Anyway. Hang out several times again. Solid guy. Never talked again after he leaves. Another good meetup.

Met a local guy. He has his shit together. Being nearly 30 give or take a few years. Learn some stuff from him about benefits of martial arts. Introduce him to a local friend. They end up becoming good friends. Never run into him again. But another good meetup.

Negative meetups:

Meet a maladjusted guy (socially speaking) who is very intelligent. Socially he is so messed up I try avoiding meeting him again. So badly socially adjusted I don't want to be associated with him. He will not stop calling me my forum handle despite the fact I gave him a name.

Meet a shady guy who claims to know well the city I'm in. He is drinking excessively and doesn't seem to know much at all. I had an uneasy feeling about the guy, and my intuition is right. I should have followed my gut feeling and never met him. He just gave off a bad vibe and seemed very bitter.

neutral meetups

I met several local guys and they just seemed very enigmatic. Never talked to them again.

Met a daygame guy. He just seemed awkward despite being serious about daygame. I think my takeaway is you have to be a bit weird to do daygame.


Closing thoughts: Meetups are a huge level of risk, although someone being "vetted" may help. But you never know.

Use a burner number. Get a feel for their vibe if you talk to them prior. Meet in a public place. See how things go. Give them a first name, you're not obligated to do much more.

Most importantly, have low expectations.

Also, I've found only 50 percent or so of people I've met are willing to wingman. I've had better luck having offline friends winging for me than people on forums. Take that however you will.
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#2
I've been entirely unimpressed with the rvf'ers ive met. There was usually a massive disconnect between their forum persona and real life. Social awkwardness was a real issue, and im not exactly a social buttery so if I notice it its BAD. Met a few cool guys here off swoop though.

Best thing is to surround yourself with naturals, or people whove come to embrace a red pill mindset without knowing the term. People who've officially studied game just come across as odd to me.
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#3
I've met a few that blew my mind in terms of their long term living abroad strategies/ game. Meeting just one person that has their shit together abroad will show you a whole world of possibilities. But I'm largely turned off these days about doing in person meetups.

PUA and forum types are massively jealous and or backstabbing.

I fully agree.
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#4
I have to say that the people whom I have all met from RVF, I have formed lasting friendships with: Vorkuta (Mr. Bald), Deb Auchery, Triple G, Harald Baldr and others whom I hung out for a couple of days: Papi Rico, Boris Alitovmuff, Stelka, Chase, Dante and a few others too numerous to mention.

However saying that, I did meet a couple of weirdoes, guys who came across as either narcissistic or downright on the spectrum. But overall, it's been a very positive experience. There are risks of course when meeting new people, that's life but don't let that put you off from meeting new people.
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#5
Dude, you come across as a little bitter with the meetup process. I can't speak for you, maybe you got burned by one of these guys, or didn't like the direction the forum was headed even before the rules, but I can't say my meetup experiences match yours.

I've met a handful of people from my regional base area, have nothing but good things to say about them. Even abroad, I went over to Asia, one guy invited me out when I posted that I was going to a big city he was in. I basically had no reps back when this happened too, but I met about five guys during my time in that city, and still talk to some of them this day. Those meetups also got me some network access to other people in the region and I noticed that particular regional group really helps each other out when one of them is in trouble (it's a city where you kind of need a couple people to fall back on).

I don't know how every one of them has felt about me, but given I met some of them multiple times and am still in contact with others, I'm assuming I've had more good than bad with meetups. Some of these have led to some pretty interesting nights out and others are just laid back days to bullshit with some like-minded dudes.

For you, maybe it's your vibe or you're just getting unlucky with some people you meet, or you just don't click with some people you mentioned. Just because two guys browse the same forum doesn't mean they have much else in common to carry on a memorable interaction. Anyway, I'd say don't write it off, particularly if you solo travel to international cities with no other established connections. It's a good tool to have especially in those spots.
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#6
I've met quite a number of RVFers as well as guys from other forums. Very mixed bag ranging from super cool dudes who have shit going on and i'm still close friends with to this day, to some of the biggest weirdos and/or pricks I've ever met. And a hell of a lot in between.

Things I've learned:

- rep count doesn't really mean anything. As some of the coolest guys i've met have had zero or single digit reps. While some of the highest repped guys have been pricks or proper odd balls. The key is in actually reading the rep comments, particularly ones where the guys have actually met up. There, reading between the lines, you can get some indication of what they might be like. 

- Be wary of dudes with a gazillion posts. You have to wonder about guys who have nothing else better to be doing than sitting on a pickup forum all day long

- guys who come across really well online can be completely different in real life. You really just never know and usually the most common description i've heard when guys meet up with forum members is "he's not what you'd expect" 

- it's safer to meet forum members as part of a group meet up rather than one-on-one. As there's safety in numbers and everyone will naturally gravitate towards the guys with whom they have the most in common. One-on-one you can end up stuck with someone you don't really gel with and can feel like getting sif'ed on a tinder date sometimes. 

- there's a natural tendency on the first meet for guys to try and talk themselves up. So there can be a lot of humble bragging about how much hassle it is to try and manage their multi-million dollar online business when 9s are constantly begging for their dick. Or the classic text prior to meeting up to let you know they may be running late as that they "need to kick this chick out of their place first, haha". Take it all with an absolutely massive pinch of salt. But also cut them a bit of slack also as it can mostly be down to first meet up nerves and a tendency for some of the younger newer guys to feel they need to prove themselves

- It's better to meet guys when not on home turf. Or anywhere where you're likely to run into people you know. In my early days in RVF and when I was doing a lot of partying in Jakarta I would welcome forum guys openly and take them out with me to show them the town and introduce them to my social circle etc. Unfortunately a lot of these guys are generally lone wolf travellers and not used to the more social circle style nightlife thing I would have going on in Singapore and Jakarta. So they didn't really know how to conduct themselves subtly, often aggressive hitting on the girls I had just introduced them to (some even hitting on MY girl) and trying to AMOG my pals. Others wouldn't be as dickish, but instead would weird everyone out by spam approaching the bar or trying too hard to impress everyone with their "DHV stories". It got to the point where I was called out quite badly for bringing out these weirdos and asked what the hell the deal was. 

- Bar maybe a couple of exceptions, every guy who described himself as a 'daygamer' was an aspie weirdo. I've met plenty of 'nightgamers' who were weird also but the daygamers tended to be next level weird. (Note not necessarily guys who did daygame were weird per say, but rather those who were exclusively daygamers and took it pretty seriously)

- Be wary of RSD fanboys. Now personally I actually quite like a lot of the RSD material (controversial statement I know, but mainly the older free tour vids on youtube) but man they could get some proper devout drink-the-koolaid followers. These guys were almost always the biggest spam approachers i have ever seen. They would generally get on like a coked up frat boy with small man syndrome and could completely burn down a large bar or club (and you with it) within minutes of arrival. 

However, despite all the negatives above it's still worth taking the risk and reaching out as, as i said, every once in a while you'll meet an absolutely solid guy and you'll stay in touch. Meet a few and you'll form an inner circle of sorts and they'll also be meeting other guys and will be able to tell you who's cool and who to avoid. Eventually you'll have a solid core of dudes who are all over the world and you can share intel as well as plan big trips to far flung destinations that perhaps your 'normal friends' wouldn't be as up for or available to go on. 

So all in all, no regrets in meeting any forum guys. But for sure there's definitely a right way of doing it
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#7
Ive met a bunch of guys from RVF most have been cool..but like Irish has said the guys with the highest reps were all talk and full of shit especially in regards to the quality of girls they banging, especially 2 of the main guys on Roosh who posted most about their bangs.
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#8
Met quite a few members from RVF, Naughty Nomad and Swoop over the years.

Def a wide spectrum of guys to say the least.

No regrets on meeting anyone.

(06-01-2019, 11:19 AM)Whitechocolate Wrote: Ive met a bunch of guys from RVF most have been cool..but like Irish has said the guys with the highest reps were all talk and full of shit especially in regards to the quality of girls they banging, especially 2 of the main guys on Roosh who posted most about their bangs.

Fact is most dudes are banging 4-6's when doing volume, myself included. (my scale anyways). 

Guys well put together with social skills tend to be on the top end 5-6s and have a decent number of 7s in the the mix. Maybe an 8 here and there. Guys needing some work tend to stay on the lower end 4-5s with minimal to no 7-8s.

If I see any dude saying he bangs a ton of new girls and they are MOSTLY 7s, 8s, 9s. I will immediately think 

1) He is purposely bull shitting 

or 

2) His scale doesn't align with mine
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#9
Also met a decent amount of guys, so far my experience has been very positive, but I do have admittedly a sort of broad personality where I can find common ground with many guys. I cosign many of the things Irish says as well. The only thing I'd like to add is that location plays a role as well. If you meet up in Europe or the States, where the bulk of the posters is, you are bound to have a higher probability of meeting an internet hero who only talks shit from his mom's basement. Few of the autist/extremist posters travel outside the west. If you meet in SEA, it is more likely you will find socially challenged guys who have difficulties getting girls in the West and go for easy pickings in Asia. In Latin America, you find more risk-taking members, probably more well-traveled an often indulging in drugs and reckless behavior. Some locations seem specifically targeted by PUAs or day gamers, like Kiev for instance.

Nevertheless, I think you can learn something from almost anyone and I haven't had occasions where I thought it was a complete waste of time. With some of the guys who are a bit behind you also gotta give em a hand, show them a bit how to act within the local context etc. It helps them get ahead and without doubt, some guys have made huge progress like that, only seeing how other members behave, learning from them and incorporating those lessons. Not everyone on here was a natural, had a strong father figure, had the possibility to travel extensively, has good looks etc. The general idea is that the meetups promote growth as a community and transfer of knowledge and skills between individuals. It is one of the most powerful elements that RVF had and hopefully will become part of the culture here as well. I for one, will always make known my travel plans here and meet up with other guys when possible, repped or not.
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#10
It's funny that as soon as I mention a sentence regarding the importance of meetups, this thread pops in a matter of hours, or even less.

I'm not an advocate of "rep points." However, I'm a HUGE proponent of REPUTATION itself. I see some very interesting attempts to confuse the two recently. There are many high rep members on RVF especially from the political space there who I don't really see having value in this context. I'll attempt to make my position clearer.

Irish and yankeetravels are spot on. There's no meetup clique or cult for fucks sakes. This screams gross misunderstanding of the whole point. Not every person I met was normal. As a matter of fact, I only rep if that person is cool and/or has the general potential to be cool. There's also something to be said for unsolicited repping. Normal, cool guys that connect with others like themselves will generally rep people right after the meetup or soon afterwards. This isn't some clique or cult. It's just respect. Typically, these stronger connections manifest themselves in the sharing of more personal information, inclusion in private chats and best of all, friendships. This isn't cliquey. It's men being men and forming stronger bonds.

By that same token, there are then a lot of wierdos who are too weird to rep. So I'm not going to rep them after the meetup. I may even meetup with them again but I would have to see some improvements to earn that rep. Usually amongst the remaining members that met these individuals there is an agreement on this. These individuals are consequently also not going to have immediate access to the private chats or conversations and typically don't become friends with other forum members. 

I suspect a lot of that is happening here. I mean shit, I may have even come across weird during my first meetup but I got over it, continued the process and eventually got access to what I would call the inner circle. We're just not going to let you into that circle if you continue to be weird, have no intention of being part of our circle, and show no improvement in being a man.

So I do find it interesting when people say they have met members but we don't see any meetup reps. 

This is not to say I haven't had a few bad experiences as well. However, the good significantly outweighs the bad and I have made some rock solid friends. No need to dwell on the bad when there's more to be gained on the other side.

I'm on TeamMeetups indefinitely!
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#11
Everyone I've met has been cool. I've had no negative surprises. I've even hosted a member who was in transit and needed to crash somewhere as opposed to grabbing a hotel. Did that twice.
I think the key is to meet them somewhere neutral and use your handle until you know they are solid. If they turn out to be intolerable oddballs then you can ditch them ASAP.
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#12
^Great example above is Moma, who has the reputation and I hope am lucky enough to grab a beer with one day.

I don't care that he has whatever rep points. I know he's legit.
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#13
I think location is an important factor. Ukraine draws in some special characters because of the quality of women but also the cost of living.

I would say the percentage of good guys I let was probably about 60/40 in Ukraine, I'm a bit wary of guys that call themselves "PUAs" I found many of them here are  hoes before bros types and engaging in spamming, backstabbing, and spending almost zero cash.

Ive met some good guys though that I'm still friends with, the kind of guys who don't take themselves too seriously and have a sense of humour.

I'm less enthused about writing these days a lot has been said already, which EE country has the biggest boobs?, where is ginger man's Disneyland?, where can an austic Indian virgin with a 2 inch willy get the respect he deserves?
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#14
(06-01-2019, 01:30 PM)deb_auchery Wrote: I'm less enthused about writing these days a lot has been said already, which EE country has the biggest boobs?, where is ginger man's Disneyland?, where can an austic Indian virgin with a 2 inch willy get the respect he deserves?

Hahahahahahaha but do you think anything has changed for 2019 or do the old game principles and poosy paradise principles still remain applicable and intact?
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#15
I've also found it interesting, since these are guys I would never ordinarily run into in my daily life. So it's often cool to hear about what they do, and how they make it work.

I would say the average game-aware person has a touch of awkwardness which made game necessary in the first place. But for the most part, I've stuck to higher-repped members whose posts I admired, and they were not compensating for anything.

I would absolutely not rule out meeting members. You'll always get some bad apples. Now that we're no longer on RVF, the internet warriors should be less common.
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#16
I used to post on RSD 10 years back. Some of the guys I met on there became my best friends and we're still tight today. We all grew together. Many of them were complete fucktards though. Majority of guys I've met from rvf were also fucktards, but some were cool. Generally I try avoiding meetups unless I'm new in a city and don't know anybody. I met up with a dude from Colombia when I first arrived in Bogota. He gave me good tips about Colombia and was chill. Once in Romania I met up with this dude from rvf. He asked if he could use my apartment to bang girls because "he lives with his parents, and we're rvf bros." After he told me that I bailed out and didn't speak to him again. There's somebody I know who posts in the Colombia thread on rvf asking if people want to meet up. He brags a lot, so you'd probably think to avoid meeting him, but in real life he's much more chill and you can learn a lot from him. Meeting with people from forums is a mixed bag, but I generally try to avoid it unless I'm new somewhere. Rep points often mean very little.
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#17
I met a group from RVF twice. Both times in London, which is 90 minute travel or so for me. Both time had a bite to eat with some beers followed by a beer in a nearby pub before I got to catch the last train back home. Mixed bag in general, both times had one oddball but others were either cool or slightly braggish (albeit interesting too). Enjoyed both and would definitely go again. Didn't gel enough to keep regular contact outside the group but that also comes down to the travel arrangements to attend.
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#18
A lot of the guys that end up being high quality happen to have solid careers, travel, dress well and have good game. My point is that it's not just about gaming women, but rather using game in ways that improve and increase the value of your lifestyle. The red-pill is great and all but being a well rounded man has a lot more to do with factors other than women.

Sometimes the difference is stark. You can tell which type of guy you will meet. Some are just obsessed with approaching and women. Others are just happy to be there, meet you and have a good time, regardless of female company. I have been on both ends of the spectrum but prefer the latter.
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#19
Aside from borderline autistes though, I'd say real life meetups are not the safest thing in the world. There was the well documented doxxing of HankMoody whom one of the refugees here played a role in. A politically motivated doxxing is almost understandable, but in his case it was just envy about the notches he was getting.

A lot of petty, little men out there.

I remember meeting with a awkward German from rvf in Thailand whom i gave a fake name just off a gut feeling. Somehow he was able to find out my real name, including one of my middle names which is I have never put online in any capacity and is only on my passport as far as i know. Nothing came of it. Think he must have just had a man crush. Certainly made me more cautious though.
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#20
The best way to meet people, in general, is organically. Live your life, do what you are doing and take an interaction to another level if that is the vibe. Among men, this often comes about while doing something with a common purpose. An example might be working out. You are doing what you are doing, yet they are there and it is a shared experience. Sometimes the shared experience is deeper because you are helping one another or doing a similar routine, at other times it more casual or can be slightly competitive.

You may have one shared experience and that leads to another and another. This can lead to the discovery of other commonalities or perhaps characteristics that you admire and want to emulate. If you have one of these types of friendships, you might tell them or refer them to things like this forum. This way you build the foundation first and do another activities second. As others have alluded, doing it in the reverse can pose risks, but then again those risks can be shared experiences that build bonds. Even, in the second case it is a good idea to meet-up around a common interest. Find something that is purposeful and part of your life in a natural sense and meet up around that focus.
Get busy living or get busy dying!
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