Wife Hunting Abroad
#21
(06-02-2019, 12:21 AM)Checkmat Wrote:
(06-02-2019, 12:08 AM)20Nation Wrote: The more I date the more I realize personality is important. And not just simply is she entertaining. Is she submissive, sweet, positive, patient, easy going, forgiving, enjoyable to be around while alone etc. If i want to stay with a girl for a long time, she needs to have these qualities or I will be unhappy.

^ This is major. Most of us, being guys, screen for hotness/sexual availability first. Obvious this doesn't have anything to do with being a long-term partner.

One piece of advice I picked up recently was to screen for personality first, and among those girls who have the traits you desire, select the one(s) you are most attracted to.

This book has been huge in changing the way I look at selecting women for relationships:  The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage

[Image: 41wmyr4uOpL.jpg]

The author describes what personality traits to look for in a girl, which indicate better skills useful for navigating an LTR. For example, one of the "Bright Triad" traits that the author says to look for is "inquisitiveness". This means that in an argument or heated discussion, instead of acting like an immature teenager, stomping her feet or giving you the silent treatment, she actually wants to find out WHY you feel the way you do.

I'm a big fan of this book. I've recommended it before on this forum.
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#22
Part 3: Hunting & Dating Strategy

You have to stop prioritizing sluts and easy bangs or super young girls. You have to focus and take care of the real goal at hand.

Every Sunday or Monday I would recommend scheduling 2-4 dates for the week with girls that appear or have the potential to be LTR or wife material. 1-2 new and 1-2 that you met and liked already. Doesn't have to be fancy or big, short quick cheap coffee or lunch is fine. The important thing is you are meeting many new girls regularly. Most girls will not appear as they do in the their pictures and most girls will not have the personality traits you desire. So the more you meet, the quicker you will likely find a partner.

After meeting, if you know they not gonna be able to make the cut, you have to never include them in the standard 2-4 dates each week. If you just want to bang her then maybe try inviting her over to the apartment or some late night bar date. Don't take her/them out on a standard normal date again.

Once you start dating a girl more than once, I would set a limit on it. Aim for 1 month and 2 being the max. If you are unsure of a girl after that time, more than likely she is not the one. I fucking wasted 8 months on one girl here. Never again will I make that mistake.

You have got to be looking for and assessing their personality. Even do some things on purpose to see how they will respond. The moment you notice a negative pattern, cut her loose.

Also, I would not attempt to bang these girls early. Take things slow and don't try to force things. You don't want to risk giving her the wrong impression and losing her.
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#23
I don't know much about Viet marriage/family traditions and customs, but I'm assuming it's pretty similar to Chinese, Filipino, Thai, etc customs.

With that said, how are you guys going to take your Viet wife's family meddling in your life? Or how will you handle them trying to move into your house with her, or asking her to get you to help sponsor them to come to the US, Europe, or wherever? lol
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#24
^^

By discussing that very topic and having clear mutual agreed upon guidelines, rules and expectations.
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#25
This discussion happens from time to time on forums and in offline conversations. Vietnam is frequently mentioned but I don't hear of many other countries. Does anyone have a success story or a recommendation for another country where it is common for women to make good long term partners?

I understand that all places have good and bad women and that a guy needs to learn the culture and language, so please don't respond with something like that. In my opinion it is worth understanding where guys have already had success and why some places have women who are more suitable for long term relationships.
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#26
(06-07-2019, 02:19 AM)raetj Wrote: This discussion happens from time to time on forums and in offline conversations. Vietnam is frequently mentioned but I don't hear of many other countries. Does anyone have a success story or a recommendation for another country where it is common for women to make good long term partners?

I understand that all places have good and bad women and that a guy needs to learn the culture and language, so please don't respond with something like that. In my opinion it is worth understanding where guys have already had success and why some places have women who are more suitable for long term relationships.

Asia
Eastern Europe 
Middle East 
Central Asia 
Latin America ?

Basically, anywhere but the liberal, progressive West lol
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#27
I guess I'm asking for specific examples or specific countries and why that country is a good choice for finding LTR quality women.

I'm not sure why the discussion always seems to begin and end with Vietnam.
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#28
Raetj


I think you have take into consideration your finances and dating skills/beliefs.The majority of guys looking to find a wife outside of their country can't or won't be able to make enough to live in another country. That leaves the option of bringing her back to your country which you also have to think about the financial obligations.If you don't believe in women working like some guys looking for a wife abroad or she has no skills that transfer to the workforce you're going to have to figure out how to handle that.That may mean having to work more at your current job ,getting a second job or source of income or finding a better paying job.A lot of guys don't think that stuff through because their mind is wrapped up in their frustration.As far as dating skills you have to think about what you will have to do to maintain the relationship.A lot of guys have this fantasy that they're going to find this unspoiled good girl in another country and she's just going to cook,clean and have sex without deviation for the rest of their lives.It being likely the guys who do find a woman abroad will likely have to move her to their country many haven't thought about  what parts of their culture she will adapt.Many guys are under the impression that women will just stay in their cultural bubble and naturally won't take on the negative aspects of theirs.I've seen a few guys marry foreign women who they thought were going to live up to their ideal but now control the relationship to where these guys are scared of them.
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#29
(06-02-2019, 04:52 PM)262 Wrote:
(06-02-2019, 12:21 AM)Checkmat Wrote:
(06-02-2019, 12:08 AM)20Nation Wrote: The more I date the more I realize personality is important. And not just simply is she entertaining. Is she submissive, sweet, positive, patient, easy going, forgiving, enjoyable to be around while alone etc. If i want to stay with a girl for a long time, she needs to have these qualities or I will be unhappy.

^ This is major. Most of us, being guys, screen for hotness/sexual availability first. Obvious this doesn't have anything to do with being a long-term partner.

One piece of advice I picked up recently was to screen for personality first, and among those girls who have the traits you desire, select the one(s) you are most attracted to.

This book has been huge in changing the way I look at selecting women for relationships:  The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage

[Image: 41wmyr4uOpL.jpg]

The author describes what personality traits to look for in a girl, which indicate better skills useful for navigating an LTR. For example, one of the "Bright Triad" traits that the author says to look for is "inquisitiveness". This means that in an argument or heated discussion, instead of acting like an immature teenager, stomping her feet or giving you the silent treatment, she actually wants to find out WHY you feel the way you do.

I'm a big fan of this book. I've recommended it before on this forum.

Can you talk about how the book has influenced your dating life, or girl selection? I've wrote about this already but I'm not looking for an LTR right now, because I'll be relocating soon. I do feel better equipped to screen women, having read the book.
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#30
(06-08-2019, 05:51 PM)raetj Wrote: I guess I'm asking for specific examples or specific countries and why that country is a good choice for finding LTR quality women.

I'm not sure why the discussion always seems to begin and end with Vietnam.

Pretty simple why.

Traditional and very family oriented.
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#31
(06-09-2019, 01:44 AM)Checkmat Wrote:
(06-02-2019, 04:52 PM)262 Wrote:
(06-02-2019, 12:21 AM)Checkmat Wrote:
(06-02-2019, 12:08 AM)20Nation Wrote: The more I date the more I realize personality is important. And not just simply is she entertaining. Is she submissive, sweet, positive, patient, easy going, forgiving, enjoyable to be around while alone etc. If i want to stay with a girl for a long time, she needs to have these qualities or I will be unhappy.

^ This is major. Most of us, being guys, screen for hotness/sexual availability first. Obvious this doesn't have anything to do with being a long-term partner.

One piece of advice I picked up recently was to screen for personality first, and among those girls who have the traits you desire, select the one(s) you are most attracted to.

This book has been huge in changing the way I look at selecting women for relationships:  The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage

The author describes what personality traits to look for in a girl, which indicate better skills useful for navigating an LTR. For example, one of the "Bright Triad" traits that the author says to look for is "inquisitiveness". This means that in an argument or heated discussion, instead of acting like an immature teenager, stomping her feet or giving you the silent treatment, she actually wants to find out WHY you feel the way you do.

I'm a big fan of this book. I've recommended it before on this forum.

Can you talk about how the book has influenced your dating life, or girl selection? I've wrote about this already but I'm not looking for an LTR right now, because I'll be relocating soon. I do feel better equipped to screen women, having read the book.

May sound obvious, but I remember instances where I got a girl's contact info through day game, but later didn't bother contacting them, due to some red flags in the set. In one instance, the girl said she had twenty tattoos!

Edit: To be honest, the biggest way the book has helped me so far is it helped me explain my last relationship. I inadvertently ended up following one of the best bits of advice from the book, which is to keep a girl at girlfriend status for around two years (roughly enough time when your brain chemistry and hers returns to normal) before deciding to do something more serious. Had I not inadvertently done that, I'm pretty sure I'd have even more of a sob story to share.
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#32
In which country are most the women not

emotional = mars, venus id look on another planet if you don't want a women whos not emotional, there ruled by them.
sensitive = femi Nazis are pretty non sensitive
jealous = avoid latinas
argumentative = some women love to argue then again some men also.
stubburn = look for a submissive girl, gullable or dumb, Asian girls seem quite gullable, basically not westensised as otherwise theyl have a strong opinion.
dramatic = does she talk about drama. If so she wants likes it.
needy = look for a women who runs her own business shel be more independent
selfish = look for a nurse shel be more kind in general.

FILTER FILTER FILTER

write down must have or must not and qualify the girl on that during the date.

e.g "you don't smoke do you" (im asking in a way that shows im not looking for a girl that smokes)

"you go to the gym or are you lazy" (if you want a women to keep herself in shape over the years)

"you a party animal" (don't want a girl going to clubs regualy)

but sounds like asia is your best bet overall

good luck Wink
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