Wife Hunting Abroad
#1
Was contemplating posting this is in my Vietnam thread but I want this to be general and relate to all places. 

Been in Vietnam for 2 years now and up until now, have completely shelved the main thing I came her for. Instead of pursuing LTRs and a wife, I have fallen into the trap of prioritizing easy bangs and young girls. (Old habits die hard)

With me only having 1-2 more years here, it's now or never. I have to make changes in my focus and strategy. 

Gonna break this down into parts. 

Part 1: Defining the ideal wife for you

Part 2: Selecting a suitable location to wife hunt 

Part 3: Hunting & Dating Strategy 

Part 4: Personal experiences
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#2
Glad to see a thread specifically on this topic and looking forward to its content. I'm sure this will help other guys in their 30s, looking to take their lives in this sort of direction. Good luck, man. I'll be following this.
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#3
Part 1: Defining the ideal wife for you

If you want an enjoyable lasting relationship, it's gonna take more than looks. Not including basic shit like honesty, integrity, responsible etc. That should be a given. My main check list.

1. Easy going

This encompasses so much. Someone who is easy going rarely gets mad over small shit, is selfless, likes to find solutions vs arguing / complaining, simple / nonmaterialistic etc.

2. Traditional

A woman who wants to cook, clean and look after the kids. A women that submits to her man as the head of the household. Family oriented.

3. Similar or agreeable future goals and expectations on life and how to raise the children

Bonus: Happy Gene

Working with so many kids, really exposes you to an array of personalities. The girls that are always so sweet, happy, friendly and smiling just are far and away more pleasant than the one's that are not.
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#4
(05-31-2019, 12:33 PM)Dash Wrote: Instead of pursuing LTRs and a wife, I have fallen into the trap of prioritizing easy bangs and young girls. (Old habits die hard)

Same happens with me. I'm not quite in wife hunting mode yet, but looking for an LTR. I don't like casual sex much, but find myself doing it way too often. Better than not getting laid though.

I think a good way to find a quality girlfriend is to join social clubs. For example, if you like cycling then join a cycling club. You'll meet women with common interests and through a social situation. The story of "we met through friends" seems to be the most common for how married couples met.

I'm finding myself wanting to find an LTR/wife because I'm burnt out from chasing pussy and starting to show signs of aging. It seems smart to capitalize while I still have several prime years left.
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#5
I've been to quite a few countries as well, but when it comes to finding a wife, Vietnam would also be on the top of my list.

Generally speaking, Vietnamese girls are the most loyal of the places I went.

Based on statista.com, the girls there also have one of the fewest sexual partners among countries, which means you can still get some pair-bonding going.

I bet the real number is higher, though, due to the value people place in Vietnam on being a virgin until marriage, meaning that many of the surveys probably lied.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/2488...worldwide/

Good luck with your search, bro.
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#6
Dash old buddy I figured you’d me wifed up by now with a couple youngsters running around, WTF bro?  I remember you saying you wanted a family by your early 30s. Don’t sweat it man, it happens to the best of us, you should stop being so picky and find a half decent Viet chica to ram your raw ramen noodle into and stop pulling out lol. The last time I saw you in the US was hilarious, that strip club was fuckin sketchy bro haha. Good luck in the wife search.
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#7
Part 2: Location

Ultimately this will come down to your desired traits in a parter. For what I am looking for, parts of Asia and maybe Eastern Europe fit the bill. If you want a more liberal progressive educated woman, then maybe the West is for you. Personally, Vietnam worked for me as its easy to get a job and have a good quality of life in addition to having the type of women I want.
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#8
Actually, Vietnam girls make very good wives and LTR partners. The Vietnamese culture is centered around tradition, family and if a woman is not married by age of 25, she is seen as not being wife material. The women are feminine, loyal (on the whole - filter hard for the carousel riders), hardworking and are not afraid to hustle for the good of the family.

Of course, there are downsides to VN women, like their strong-headed and stubborn behavior in some instances, which can also be their strengths as well. Another thing to watch out for is that their extended family and children comes first before you, so you need to set the frame right. If she does not come from a rich family inevitably, some of her distant relatives would have monetary request further down the line. So you need to be strong to reject those requests saying "Yes, we can help them if we can afford to, but our own family's needs come first."

Good luck in your search!
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#9
Vietnam has the best women I've experienced so far for LTR material, I met a very wide range of women, from very strong headed, slightly cold and vanilla to very sweet, nubile, hot and sultry. They all had something major in common, they seemed like they would make very stable, loyal partners you could trust. Within SEA Vietnamese culture also seems like the most compatible with traditional western values.

I still don't think it's a place I could live forever, it wears on me feeling like an outsider all the time, and at the end of the day it's not my culture.

I'm not a fan of importing women, but if I ever decided to go down that road, I'd rather import a Viet then a Thai or Pinay.

I'm eventually going to go to EE or back to the States and look in conservative areas for someone I can build a family with.
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#10
The problem I've seen with guys who go wife hunting is they're scared of women even the ones that come off as tough guys.A lot of guys complain about local women but they end up marrying these foreign women that basically are the men in the relationship as far as making decisions.A lot of guys complain that women don't have traditional values like knowing how to cook,clean etc but to me that's not a fair exchange to support her especially if you have a business or a job making a lot of money.I also see a lot of guys setttling for average or less than average looking women.I can understand some guys have different preference but if I'm going to marry a woman abroad I'm going for the most attractive one I meet.
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#11
(06-01-2019, 06:33 PM)kc1082 Wrote: The problem I've seen with guys who go wife hunting is they're scared of women even the ones that come off as tough guys.A lot of guys complain about local women but they end up marrying these foreign women that basically are the men in the relationship as far as making decisions.A lot of guys complain that women don't have traditional values like knowing how to cook,clean etc but to me that's not a fair exchange to support her especially if you have a business or a job making a lot of money.I also see a lot of guys setttling for average or less than average looking  women.I can understand some guys have different preference but if I'm going to marry a woman abroad I'm going for the most attractive one I meet.

Personality is way way more important when choosing a wife. This isn't a one night stand. 

You can prioritize looks and end up unhappy or divorced like a lot of men that follow that same line of thought. 

Reminds me of women who say they are going to marry a rich handsome guy. 

They all got a lot to learn and usually end up learning the hard way. 

I could meet my dream 10/10 tomorrow, but if her personality is ass, she can kick rocks. 

Girl A
10/10 - Always complaining and bitching about things, super controlling and jealous, super needy, thinks cooking and cleaning is beneath her, super liberal, places career first, shallow and materialistic. 

vs

Girl B
6/10 - Super chill and easy going. Happy gene. Simple. Down to earth. Warm and kind hearted. Enjoys cooking, cleaning and taking care of kids. Conservative and traditional. Family first. 

Girl A is for a ONS. For marriage, girl B wrecks her. Not even remotely close.
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#12
(06-01-2019, 10:59 PM)Dash Wrote: You can prioritize looks and end up unhappy or divorced like a lot of men that follow that same line of thought. 

Reminds me of my ex. She was good looking and I overlooked her negative personality traits for a while. After about a year I got used to her looks, then I realized her personality was shitty. What happens 5-10 years later when you're with some old insufferable cunt... 

Personally I wouldn't marry a 6 unless I was approaching my 50's or so.
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#13
(06-01-2019, 11:04 PM)mike Wrote:
(06-01-2019, 10:59 PM)Dash Wrote: You can prioritize looks and end up unhappy or divorced like a lot of men that follow that same line of thought. 

Reminds me of my ex. She was good looking and I overlooked her negative personality traits for a while. After about a year I got used to her looks, then I realized her personality was shitty. What happens 5-10 years later when you're with some old insufferable cunt... 

Personally I wouldn't marry a 6 unless I was approaching my 50's or so.

For every 10/10 there is a guy who is or will become tired of banging her. 

Can you post of picture of what your 6 looks like?
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#14
The more I date the more I realize personality is important. And not just simply is she entertaining. Is she submissive, sweet, positive, patient, easy going, forgiving, enjoyable to be around while alone etc. If i want to stay with a girl for a long time, she needs to have these qualities or I will be unhappy.
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#15
(06-02-2019, 12:08 AM)20Nation Wrote: The more I date the more I realize personality is important. And not just simply is she entertaining. Is she submissive, sweet, positive, patient, easy going, forgiving, enjoyable to be around while alone etc. If i want to stay with a girl for a long time, she needs to have these qualities or I will be unhappy.

^ This is major. Most of us, being guys, screen for hotness/sexual availability first. Obvious this doesn't have anything to do with being a long-term partner.

One piece of advice I picked up recently was to screen for personality first, and among those girls who have the traits you desire, select the one(s) you are most attracted to.

This book has been huge in changing the way I look at selecting women for relationships:  The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage

[Image: 41wmyr4uOpL.jpg]

The author describes what personality traits to look for in a girl, which indicate better skills useful for navigating an LTR. For example, one of the "Bright Triad" traits that the author says to look for is "inquisitiveness". This means that in an argument or heated discussion, instead of acting like an immature teenager, stomping her feet or giving you the silent treatment, she actually wants to find out WHY you feel the way you do.
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#16
(06-01-2019, 11:09 PM)Dash Wrote: Can you post of picture of what your 6 looks like?

Edit: (removed pics of girls revealing their faces/names)
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#17
(06-01-2019, 10:59 PM)Dash Wrote:
(06-01-2019, 06:33 PM)kc1082 Wrote: The problem I've seen with guys who go wife hunting is they're scared of women even the ones that come off as tough guys.A lot of guys complain about local women but they end up marrying these foreign women that basically are the men in the relationship as far as making decisions.A lot of guys complain that women don't have traditional values like knowing how to cook,clean etc but to me that's not a fair exchange to support her especially if you have a business or a job making a lot of money.I also see a lot of guys setttling for average or less than average looking  women.I can understand some guys have different preference but if I'm going to marry a woman abroad I'm going for the most attractive one I meet.

Personality is way way more important when choosing a wife. This isn't a one night stand. 

You can prioritize looks and end up unhappy or divorced like a lot of men that follow that same line of thought. 

Reminds me of women who say they are going to marry a rich handsome guy. 

They all got a lot to learn and usually end up learning the hard way. 

I could meet my dream 10/10 tomorrow, but if her personality is ass, she can kick rocks. 

Girl A
10/10 - Always complaining and bitching about things, super controlling and jealous, super needy, thinks cooking and cleaning is beneath her, super liberal, places career first, shallow and materialistic. 

vs

Girl B
6/10 - Super chill and easy going. Happy gene. Simple. Down to earth. Warm and kind hearted. Enjoys cooking, cleaning and taking care of kids. Conservative and traditional. Family first. 

Girl A is for a ONS. For marriage, girl B wrecks her. Not even remotely close.

Dash

You misinterpreted what I was saying.Girl A is nothing near what I'm describing.I was in no way implying I was only going for looks.The point I was trying to make is many guys settle for less attractive women because of their insecurities about themselves.What I've seen is a lot of guys is they marry girl B but she ends up becoming more like girl A because he lets her assume most or all the decisions in their relationship.I said in my post that there are guys who have different preferences as far as looks.I personally don't think that looks trump personality but I would look for the best woman I can find.That doesn't mean I'm just looking for someone who is model quality.
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#18
@KC

Not sure I would call it settling IF the guy finds the girl with the personality he desires that still passes the boner test.

It is EXTREMELY hard to find a girl who is simply easy going. Girls by default are too emotional and over sensitive.

Thinking you are going to find a girl with ideal personality traits AND is significantly attractive is not really realistic.

Most guys usually have to take a hit in either the looks department or the personality department in it comes to LTRs.

Smart guys will take the hit in the looks.

Saying you are looking for the best woman (overall) you can find is considerably different than saying I am going for the most attractive one I can meet.
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#19
You’re misreading what I said again. I never said she had to significantly attractive. I said many guys go for less attractive women.



I don’t believe it’s hard to find a girl who is easy going.Westernized dating culture has conditioned people into thinking disrespect and drama are things you have to accept to be with a woman.I keep seeing the word personality being thrown around too much. The majority of guys are not taught to vet women’s personalities correctly which is why many western cultures have problems with dating and relationships.Most of the getting to know people stage is superficial bs neither party especially men care about. Most guys aren’t even taught how to have correct conversations with women.Many guys don’t fully listen in conversations which leads to them missing out on a bunch of red flags they complain about when it’s too late. It’s scary the amount of women I’ve heard admit the bad stuff they do to guys and are proud of but guys completely miss because they want to be with that girl.The majority of guy I hear and read about trying to find women abroad take the same backwards dating approach they learned in their country to another.One of the biggest mistakes I see or hear guys doing abroad is assuming that the girl they met is a “good girl” from the start.It’s that same mistake that leads guys to say thing like she was a good girl when they met but she changed over time.She was never a good girl,that was an idea they were taught to project onto women they’re attracted to.
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#20
KC,

In which country are most the women not

emotional
sensitive
jealous
argumentative
stubburn
dramatic
needy
selfish
etc?

I mean maybe finding an ugly easy going girl might not be too hard, but from my own experiences having dated a fuck load of girls, finding one that matches my physical preferences and the above is not easy at all.

The reason men and women have problems in their relationships abroad and domestic is simple. They don't have any or enough standards in regards to their mate's personality and character.

I have started asking both men and women I meet what are their personality standards in a mate. Haven't had one person yet actually give a thoughtful wise answer.

Men are blind to the above due to their eyes and dick. Women are blind to the above due to their ears and heart. Not a single person uses their actual brain.
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