Dating in Latin America without speaking Spanish?
#1
For those of you living in countries like Colombia and Mexico, is it necessary to speak conversational Spanish in order to date?

I imagine one can find girls who know English and want to practice English, and perhaps the upper-class girls are well traveled, but beyond that practising daygame and hitting on girls in a bar seems like it would be more difficult than is let on in these forums.

Background: I am a white American guy working for a startup who intends to try living in Guadalajara and Medellin. Thanks for all the inspirational posts on this forum.
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#2
I can't really recommend, for the following reasons:
- most Spanish people in general just don't give a shit about English. And the hot chick you're dating most likely too.
- it'll annoy you as fuck always not to understand what the other people talk (about you)
- learning Spanish is really easy and especially in Mexico and Colombia the slang is not too hard, like in Chile or Argentina
- I recognised that most girls were kind of impressed when I spoke Spanish...shows you're not like the other 99% of tourist backpacker weirdos who roam through their countries

If you're still not in the mood to learn, try to stick to girls who have am English tinder profile or daygame near the tourism university
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#3
Can do it, but your dating pool and options will be severely limited.

Spanish is not hard and doesn't take too long to learn to a decent level.

No excuse not be able to hold basic-moderate conversations
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#4
(02-19-2019, 07:52 AM)phase.iv Wrote: - I recognised that most girls were kind of impressed when I spoke Spanish...shows you're not like the other 99% of tourist backpacker weirdos who roam through their countries

That's a good point, that the girls might be impressed by a foreigner knowing their language.

I intend to learn Spanish by living in Mexico/Colombia for at least three months and taking a 5 hour language class on Saturdays. I'll supplement the class with phone apps like Duolingo.

If anyone has any tips on learning the language or could share how long it took them to reach conversational Spanish I'd appreciate it.
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#5
It kind of sucks not being fluent in Spanish while living in Colombia, but I think if you stick with Bogota you'll be fine. There are plenty of girls here that speak English
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#6
(02-22-2019, 03:34 PM)mike Wrote: It kind of sucks not being fluent in Spanish while living in Colombia, but I think if you stick with Bogota you'll be fine. There are plenty of girls here that speak English

Looking into learning Spanish and moving to Mexico/Colombia, the endeavor does not appear to be a shortcut to the easy life.

I figure I'd need to commit to a Spanish language class of at least 5 hours class time a week, practice regularly on an app like Duolingo, listen to tapes by Pimsleur, and immerse myself in a Spanish speaking country for a handful of months. I already know broken Spanish from university prep and travel.

Then let's not kid ourselves: to live well in Latin America you still want a six figure income -- because you want a noticeably nicer apartment in an affluent neighborhood -- what's the point of moving to a developing country to live with the lower-middle-class.

So if you're smart enough to make it as an entrepreneur or highly skilled tech worker, and you're smart enough to become fluent in a foreign language, why bother moving to a developing country in the first place. Instead you could compete in Manhattan. The amount of work required is roughly equivalent.

Nevertheless, having established myself in a tech career, I'm still attracted to the idea. The prospect of becoming fluent in Spanish, however, is daunting -- seems like at least a year of serious work.

For those of you who live well in Latin America, I'd be interested in hearing your story.
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#7
I went on italki.com and hired a tutor to give me lessons over Skype. It was informal, but she's from Bogota, so we practiced Spanish and she told me some tips about Colombia before I arrived. I'd guess I took somewhere around 10-15 hours of lessons. When I arrived in LATAM I had a decent base. I've been in Colombia over a month now. I mostly practice Spanish by going on dates with local girls, making small talk with cashiers, baristas, Uber drivers. I still consider myself a beginner at Spanish, but I know enough to hold a basic conversation for at least 5-10 minutes. I also know enough Spanish that most women at least appreciate the effort and often compliment me about it. It sets me apart from the average tourist/backpacker and girls take me more seriously for it. I've been a bit lazy, but I have to commit to taking Spanish lessons if I want to improve.

Another thing I do to practice my written Spanish is use Tinder. Even if a girl flakes, it wasn't a waste of time because I got to practice Spanish.

It definitely is frustrating not being fluent, or even "intermediate." Lots of times I cannot understand basic things. It's also pretty hard to connect with women that don't speak English. You can fuck plenty of girls who don't speak English, but IMO it's impossible to have a relationship with one beyond sex. I've taken girls home from clubs, but the loud music and alcohol masked the language barrier. The next morning things got a bit awkward when we couldn't even talk without Google Translate. Doesn't mean I cannot fuck her again, but if you're interested in "dating" then it makes things quite difficult.

I wouldn't write off Latin America if you're not fluent in Spanish. It'll take some effort to learn, but in the meantime there are plenty of great, educated girls who can speak English.

(02-22-2019, 08:54 PM)lilsoso Wrote: So if you're smart enough to make it as an entrepreneur or highly skilled tech worker, and you're smart enough to become fluent in a foreign language, why bother moving to a developing country in the first place. Instead you could compete in Manhattan. The amount of work required is roughly equivalent.

I don't understand your thought process. Manhattan is expensive, stressful and the weather sucks. I live in developing countries because it takes less effort to get hotter women, you get better value for less money, and it's fun to experience different cultures.
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#8
Quote:I don't understand your thought process. Manhattan is expensive, stressful and the weather sucks. I live in developing countries because it takes less effort to get hotter women, you get better value for less money, and it's fun to experience different cultures.

That's reassuring to hear. I'm open to the experience and the challenge of learning a new language.

My primary concern, again, is that learning a new language to a decent level of proficiency requires a significant amount of work: many hours per week over many months.

Not to derail the thread too much, but since you've lived in Colombia, can you compare dating in Mexico to Colombia?
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#9
(02-22-2019, 11:20 PM)mike Wrote: I went on italki.com and hired a tutor to give me lessons over Skype. It was informal, but she's from Bogota, so we practiced Spanish and she told me some tips about Colombia before I arrived. I'd guess I took somewhere around 10-15 hours of lessons. When I arrived in LATAM I had a decent base. I've been in Colombia over a month now. I mostly practice Spanish by going on dates with local girls, making small talk with cashiers, baristas, Uber drivers. I still consider myself a beginner at Spanish, but I know enough to hold a basic conversation for at least 5-10 minutes. I also know enough Spanish that most women at least appreciate the effort and often compliment me about it. It sets me apart from the average tourist/backpacker and girls take me more seriously for it. I've been a bit lazy, but I have to commit to taking Spanish lessons if I want to improve.

Another thing I do to practice my written Spanish is use Tinder. Even if a girl flakes, it wasn't a waste of time because I got to practice Spanish.

It definitely is frustrating not being fluent, or even "intermediate." Lots of times I cannot understand basic things. It's also pretty hard to connect with women that don't speak English. You can fuck plenty of girls who don't speak English, but IMO it's impossible to have a relationship with one beyond sex. I've taken girls home from clubs, but the loud music and alcohol masked the language barrier. The next morning things got a bit awkward when we couldn't even talk without Google Translate. Doesn't mean I cannot fuck her again, but if you're interested in "dating" then it makes things quite difficult.

I wouldn't write off Latin America if you're not fluent in Spanish. It'll take some effort to learn, but in the meantime there are plenty of great, educated girls who can speak English.

(02-22-2019, 08:54 PM)lilsoso Wrote: So if you're smart enough to make it as an entrepreneur or highly skilled tech worker, and you're smart enough to become fluent in a foreign language, why bother moving to a developing country in the first place. Instead you could compete in Manhattan. The amount of work required is roughly equivalent.

I don't understand your thought process. Manhattan is expensive, stressful and the weather sucks. I live in developing countries because it takes less effort to get hotter women, you get better value for less money, and it's fun to experience different cultures.

I agree about the Manhattan comparison,it doesn't compare.I haven't been to Latin America but from what I've seen you can get a high end apartment comparable to Manhattan for  a more affordable price.Although cities like that have attractive latin women you're not going to be exposed to them regularly. I think it's good to know the language if you considering moving but as far as women I think your skills with talking to women are just as important.I've seen a lot of stories about guys who struggle with women in westernized countries being disappointed after going abroad and having the same issue.
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#10
(02-23-2019, 03:44 AM)kc1082 Wrote: I've seen a lot of stories about guys who struggle with women in westernized countries being disappointed after going abroad and having the same issue.

That's my point. The amount of work it takes to sufficiently learn a foreign language, earn a high income, and move to a foreign country is similar to the amount of work it would take to simply compete with the best of the best (e.g., Manhattan) in your own country.

Sure, in a foreign country the rent may be cheaper, and the women lacking opportunities may be easier. But in order to really live well in a foreign country there's a lot of work.

You could become an adwords consultant, move to the Philippines, and exploit the destitute. But that's not the dream, now is it? No, that's sad. "Very sad!"

That is, the moderately educated, middling middle-class men who struggle with women in western countries are not going to move to Colombia, armed with two years of high school Spanish and one month of Duolingo, and suddenly kill it. No, the same conspiracy that prevented them from finding a date for the prom and prevented them from finishing "state school" again will intervene.
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#11
I haven't been to Mexico so I cannot comment. Colombia is the only Latin American country I've spend significant time in so far.

As for guys who struggle getting laid in their home country... yeah you'll probably struggle anywhere other than Asia. I'm decent looking, have game (I live an interesting life and it intrigues most women), and have an athletic physique from rock climbing. I don't really struggle to get laid in many places, so it never crossed my mind that I wouldn't get laid if I moved to Colombia. If you don't get laid much in your home country then you should just move to Bangkok or Manilla. It takes almost no effort in either of those places, especially if you're willing to date 5's and 6's. Asian women are a huge step down from Latinas though.
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#12
^^ Also places in LA where DHV increases a lot. I got tons of IOIs at some of the bars and clubs in Latin America.
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#13
(02-23-2019, 08:10 AM)lilsoso Wrote:
(02-23-2019, 03:44 AM)kc1082 Wrote: I've seen a lot of stories about guys who  struggle with women in westernized countries being disappointed after going abroad and having the same issue.

That's my point. The amount of work it takes to sufficiently learn a foreign language, earn a high income, and move to a foreign country is similar to the amount of work it would take to simply compete with the best of the best (e.g., Manhattan) in your own country.

Sure, in a foreign country the rent may be cheaper, and the women lacking opportunities may be easier. But in order to really live well in a foreign country there's a lot of work.

You could become an adwords consultant, move to the Philippines, and exploit the destitute. But that's not the dream, now is it? No, that's sad. "Very sad!"

That is, the moderately educated, middling middle-class men who struggle with women in western countries are not going to move to Colombia, armed with two years of high school Spanish and one month of Duolingo, and suddenly kill it. No, the same conspiracy that prevented them from finding a date for the prom and prevented them from finishing "state school" again will intervene.


You're right that this does involve a lot of work.The sad thing about our society now is it's been dumbed down to where people expect instant gratification from everything.The idea that money and women are just going to come someone's way with little or no effort is a fairytale.Most of these average moderately,middling middle class men will continue to have issues with women as long as they keep listening to dating advice from their family,peers and mainstream media.I wouldn't use conspiracy but a lot of these guys who follow mainstream dating advice or are "choosing " to give up on women are buying into an agenda that was meant to manipulate their thinking.
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#14
(02-26-2019, 09:40 PM)kc1082 Wrote:
(02-23-2019, 08:10 AM)lilsoso Wrote:
(02-23-2019, 03:44 AM)kc1082 Wrote: I've seen a lot of stories about guys who  struggle with women in westernized countries being disappointed after going abroad and having the same issue.

That's my point. The amount of work it takes to sufficiently learn a foreign language, earn a high income, and move to a foreign country is similar to the amount of work it would take to simply compete with the best of the best (e.g., Manhattan) in your own country.

Sure, in a foreign country the rent may be cheaper, and the women lacking opportunities may be easier. But in order to really live well in a foreign country there's a lot of work.

You could become an adwords consultant, move to the Philippines, and exploit the destitute. But that's not the dream, now is it? No, that's sad. "Very sad!"

That is, the moderately educated, middling middle-class men who struggle with women in western countries are not going to move to Colombia, armed with two years of high school Spanish and one month of Duolingo, and suddenly kill it. No, the same conspiracy that prevented them from finding a date for the prom and prevented them from finishing "state school" again will intervene.


You're right that this does involve a lot of work.The sad thing about our society now is it's been dumbed down to where people expect instant gratification from everything.The idea that money and women are just going to come someone's way with little or no effort is a fairytale.Most of these average moderately,middling middle class men will continue to have issues with women as long as they keep listening to dating advice from their family,peers and mainstream media.I wouldn't use conspiracy but a lot of these guys who follow mainstream dating advice or are "choosing " to give up on women are buying into an agenda that was meant to manipulate their thinking.

Lilsosa moving to other countries is not just about getting laid with less work. It’s about adventure, excitement, discovering new places, new women, new types of women. I get laid both in usa and traveling, but I enjoy dating outside of USA much more. I really dislike most american’s personalities. Foreign girls who move to usa start adopting this immediately. So when I travel and find sweet foreign girls in all corners of the earth and watch their eyes light up when they see me, there is nothing quite like it. Life is not just about putting in the least amount of work to get the hottest girl, it’s about experiencing new things and just enjoying it.
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#15
So for dating in Latin America without Spanish, it can be fun, but in my opinion you should always be working on your Spanish while you are there. I have went from extreme novice to sometimes people mistaking me for being Spanish. And what's fun, is watching the quality of your girls improve over time. As my Spanish got better so did the girls I was dating. In Latin America I always have a good shot with the hottest girls I see and a huge part of that is my fluency in Spanish. It doesn't mean I didn't also have a great time with very little Spanish (although not banging near the same quality).
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#16
As an update, I've reached level 6 of Spanish on Duolingo. Somehow I thought I was nearing the end, then I learned online there's something like 25 levels total. Googling "how long to complete duolingo spanish" yields varying results, but it appears that if you want to complete it in under a year you need to put in a significant amount of time every day.

If I ever move to say Mexico or Colombia I'll update this thread. I'm currently interviewing for a remote tech job.
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#17
Yes you can live in Latin America and date local chicas who speak English but why would you want to do that when Spanish is such an easy language to learn and your experience will so much better if you can communicate effectively with the locals and avoid getting ripped off, in shitty situations, etc. Personally I don't like to travel to places where I don't speak the local lingo, that's why I don't bother with places like Poland and Ukraine, I feel like a moron when I can't talk to a taxi driver or a barber. Also, if you don't speak Spanish then you better bring something else to the table like good looks (preferably blond hair and blue eyes) and the ability to portray a wealthy lifestyle. Myself, I'm not particulary good looking and I'm a cheap cunt so I have to rely on my ability to speak Spanish well and dance salsa half decently. 

I went on a date last night with a chica from Tinder, met her at a pub and she was with a friend, it went very well, we had a couple of drinks and some food. She recently visited Canada and was telling me about how much she like it, then the song Mia by Drake and Bad Bunny came on and I said "Drake is Canadian too" and started singing the lyrics (it's a pretty good song), they were impressed and it kept the conversation going. It's little things like that which make dating in Latin America easier, the girl speaks English pretty well because she works at a hotel but she only said a few things in English all night, I came here to speak Spanish anyway, although the Mexican accent and local slang is a pain in the ass.
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#18
I agree with other posters but wanted to mention another thing. The hottest girls everywhere around the world can get by just with their looks. They don't need to develop anything in order to have basic success in life as in access to resources and options for family/dating. This translates in Latin America to the hottest girls not knowing English in general, after all, they are dating the top guys in their country and are having a comfortable life. So if you want access to the top tier, learn Spanish. As said before, it's not too hard, I personally learned in a few months and got fluent maybe after half a year to a year.

But is it necessary? No, you can still get laid from nightgame picking up mostly average drunk girls and occasionally hot girls depending on how you look, dress, carry yourself and your confidence.
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#19
^The vast majority of RVF guys are not dating the upper crust Ivy League equivalent in any country around the world, those chicas are dating within their social circles mostly, not hooking up with random tourists. In a place like Colombia, there’s tons of working class type girls who are attractive and as Rottenapple mentioned, they don’t speak much English. I do agree with you that if a guy is able to snag a high class girl then yes she’ll probably speak English well. This is much more likely to happen in Bogota than say Medellin or Cali.
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#20
lilsoso,

I lived in Bogota, Colombia for 2 years and I was in Mexico City the last 2. I also have a tech background -- I was a full stack web developer and instructor from about 2013 - 2018. 

Learning a second language is daunting. It was harder for me to learn Spanish to a high level than learning to code. The rewards are immensely worth it and when you get to a decent level, you're able to get cute girls a lot easier.

It's also a lot better for the dynamic of the relationship. The reason is this:

Foreign girls who speak English often take to and gravitate toward the snark, the man-hating, the "empowerment", and all the other silliness that you're likely trying to get away from in Anglo/American girls.

When you're with a girl who is not very good with English, she is more culturally remote from those contaminating influences so you're often dealing with a more feminine behaving girl who is significantly more pleasant, less corrupted, and less spoiled. She also relates to you differently since you're outside the tribe and outside of her culture. Less pretense and the lover/boyfriend "role" is less scripted.

With time you'll find these Latina girls aren't perfect either, but they're sexy and you're likely to find them more enjoyable. If you want to get the most out of them then it's worth your while to learn the language.
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