Struggle between wanting to learn seduction and wanting companionship
#1
Hey guys so a month ago I moved to Bangkok to teach English and practise my game. So far I've had a few casual hookups but I'm finding it quite lonely here and so am beginning to crave a serious girlfriend, even though that goes against my plans for being a playboy 'butterfly' as they're known here in Thailand and getting good with women. Last weekend I hung out with this stunning chick from ThaiCupid, really beautiful- we met at 2pm and were still chatting at 10pm. She came home with me and we fucked 4 times, it was amazing and we were both sleepy for the next few days.

Anyway I really made a connection with this girl and then I think I got a little needy. I invited her for drinks on Wednesday and she declined, saying we can't fuck on a week night when we both have work the next day. Actually I just wanted to see her again because I miss her. But my last message she has ignored for about 12 hours and I'm beginning to think I fucked up.

My main fuckup here was not so much whatever I said - that's only a symptom. The main fuckup, I believe, is falling for her, thinking about making her my girlfriend etc when we only had one date. I mean, it was a very long date, with a long night of amazing sex (I made her cum more than she made me cum so I'm pretty sure she loved it) but I got needy because I wasn't used to having unpaid sex with such beautiful women - and OMG I have never experienced a woman so wet before. Her panties were drenched. My dad said that's an indication that she might like me, so I ended up getting a crush on her since I thought she liked me. Then I got needy, now she's unresponsive.

So yeah on the one hand I'm lonely af and not enjoying the pain when I make a connection with someone and then it doesn't turn into a relationship. On the other hand, I know I'm like this because I'm still in scarcity with women and so I need to fuck around a lot more to improve in this matter. If I did this all the time it wouldn't be a big deal. 

Thoughts?
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#2
Everyone wants to find a mate, wish you good things!
play game angry birds  and marvel movies 
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#3
My opinion is, I don't think you are being needy. You sent her a message asking to go out for drinks, that's it? Not messaging over and over? It seems fine to me. Just back off a little and give her some space, if she liked what she got she will be back. Afraid you are having girlfriend thoughts? Just keep it as a possibility and don't focus on it. If it becomes that then that's great. In the end it just boils down to what you want. Don't let the idea of being a "butterfly" limit you. If you are feeling lonely and want a girlfriend, then do it. All girlfriends do not necessarily become wives and all girlfriends do not last forever. Instead of just one night stands, give it a try on some longer flings and mini relationships. Especially if you are there longer term. It will probably be more fulfilling in the end. Most guys just trying for one night stands are usually there for a shorter stay, or a bang trip.

Now if this girl is not interested in being a girlfriend and blows you off? Don't worry about it, another bus will be pulling up shortly. And if you are truly interested in a girlfriend and a longer term relationship, you are at a huuuuuge advantage on the dating sites there. Look at what all the girls are writing in their profiles, they are all begging for a serious relationship. Most are tired of the one night stands, and guys that only want sex. If it ends up not being forever, or only a few weeks long, well its just part of the normal dating process. You date different people until you find that incredible one you really like.
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#4
Okay I realized now you posted this earlier this year, and a probable spammer brought it back into the feed. Anyway, so how did things turn out?
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#5
Women have a strong 6th sense when it comes to men being "needy". They can smell neediness from miles away, even better than a bloodhound dog smells & tracks another animal...even if you do everything to hide it.

Best way not to act needy to have more than 1 girl...which in turn will attract more girls.
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#6
This is something I have too. But it's less about companionship (because dating a lot of girls i get that) and more about wanting a family. But then I feel like I should settle down when i'm a bit older (I'm only 31). My thoughts on it seem to change from month to month
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#7
Just back away for a little bit and wait for her to get back in touch with you. If she doesn't then all well, her lost.
Go and game other girls in the mean time. You shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. You've only just met this chick and your already thinking about making her your gf. At this point you don't know anything about her.

Go date a few girls and then compare each one to get a more objective conclusion on which one is most compatible with you and would make the best gf.
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#8
On neediness...I read this amazing line from FJ Sharkey's book, How to be the Jerk That Women Love:

"If you want to love a lot, love a little, so that you are around long enough to love a lot!"

This kept me in check when I was feeling emotional or needy with my last LTR. I knew that even though I was feeling this things, I didn't have to act on it. If you can swallow your feelings, control your words/actions and keep yourself in check, you'll get the satisfaction of receiving a girl's love instead of repelling her.

Bottom line is even if you are feeling needy, you don't have to ACT needy.
There's no such thing as different but equal. 
-Dante Nero
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#9
Learning Game and Seduction is essential to attracting a companion and keeping her or other people attracted. Believe me, I know. Fucked up too many times.
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#10
(03-18-2019, 05:13 PM)Stretch Wrote: My opinion is, I don't think you are being needy. You sent her a message asking to go out for drinks, that's it? Not messaging over and over? It seems fine to me. Just back off a little and give her some space, if she liked what she got she will be back. Afraid you are having girlfriend thoughts? Just keep it as a possibility and don't focus on it. If it becomes that then that's great. In the end it just boils down to what you want. Don't let the idea of being a "butterfly" limit you. If you are feeling lonely and want a girlfriend, then do it. All girlfriends do not necessarily become wives and all girlfriends do not last forever. Instead of just one night stands, give it a try on some longer flings and mini relationships. Especially if you are there longer term. It will probably be more fulfilling in the end. Most guys just trying for one night stands are usually there for a shorter stay, or a bang trip.

Now if this girl is not interested in being a girlfriend and blows you off? Don't worry about it, another bus will be pulling up shortly. And if you are truly interested in a girlfriend and a longer term relationship, you are at a huuuuuge advantage on the dating sites there. Look at what all the girls are writing in their profiles, they are all begging for a serious relationship. Most are tired of the one night stands, and guys that only want sex. If it ends up not being forever, or only a few weeks long, well its just part of the normal dating process. You date different people until you find that incredible one you really like.

I've felt similar to OP and this post is awesome. I think that finding a game forum can overwhelm you where you start thinking you need to have 5 different girls you can bang at all times to feel adequate. Instead, it's all about knowing you have options and learning to control emotions which comes with experience. Then using that knowledge to align with what makes you happiest/fits your life. I've realised that I rather have 1-2 regular girls then having many ONSs etc but I need a lot more experience to have the quality of girls I want in my life. Pracitisng game as much as possible increases how quickly you get that experience.
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#11
[Image: thumb_why-not-both-i-feel-liketransgende...915142.png]

They are not mutually exclusive paths. In fact the same principles needed to attract a woman (acquisition) are need to be applied if a man wants to keep her attracted (retention) in an LTR. The application does need however to transition with the phase

I do have one specific suggestion:

Drop the word "seduction" from your vocabulary. Not only is it cheesy "PUA" jargon it also carries with a negative connotation that I believe carries over into men's inner dialogue. "Seduction" implies tricking or manipulating a woman into giving you what you want...sex.  "Seduction" is a unilateral "take" word

Learning "game" as relates to attracting a woman is really about understanding her basic hardwired responses. Once you understand what a woman wants, and what she responds to, you can more easily affect the "how" and give it to her

Once you can do that you both get what you want

Nothing negative about a "win / win"
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