Dealing with time wasters
#21
I agree with you Doug.

I think it is kind of a trending issue. Since most guys in the world have somewhat game nowadays, girls have been through the exact same process a dozen or even a hundred times. They know exactly what you are going/trying to do. So, it just doesn't work to just escalate in the west. You need to be a good conversationalist and a challenge. If you just have normal conversations and escalate, with 6.5+ girls you won't get anywhere unless you are her type.

That's why if your conversation is not the best, I would recommend to not escalate at all these days, or just a little bit (reward her with escalation). She will start wondering why you don't touch her like all the other guys. Of course, you still need to be interesting. I think the best game strategy for a date nowadays is being a challenge. Qualification here and there is so important. Also let the conversation dry out sometimes and don't make an effort to reinitiate. Turn away sometimes, like you weren't interested in her. You will get a good indication of where you at. Does she desperately come up with a new topic? Good sign. Does she wait, too and perhaps come up with something super boring because she feels this is an awkward situation? Bad sign.

When you date in the west, I think the clue is to be interesting and don't give a fuck. Drop some interesting stuff here and there, call her out on whatever she says, let her explain herself, tease her, try to be as non-judgemental as possible, and only start escalating when you feel she is hooked. The being a challenge thing is the most important aspect of date game and if you are doing it well, she will happily go back to your place.

Also I think pushing is not good. 99% of guys either don't push at all and give up after the first rejection or the think they need to be super alpha and just push hard. It works surely with some girls, it has worked for me before. Still they won't be as horny. I personally can only enjoy sex if I feel the other person enjoys it, too. They will enjoy it if you successfully push, too. But changing roles again can work wonders, even though my sample is very low in that research. Once a girl puts resistance in bed, my new strategy is to not push, but to again flip the coin. Agree with her, say kissing is ok and that you just appreciate her presence and proximity. At the same time kiss her on the sweat spots, and back off. Remind her on what you agreed on. Act as you believe it yourself, perhaps believe it yourself even. If you don't care weather sex happens or not, the likelihood is bigger that it happens than when you push hard. This should also decrease the ghosting rate, if sex doesn't happen, because in theory, she should feel attracted to you, but also comfortable. Girls need a reason to have sex, and if you keep on pushing they know what you are after. It's boring because their attention is already satisfied, and they will tell you something like they don't feel it yet, they don't feel comfortable. My guess is, that if you take your time and convince her that you don't care if you have sex or not with her, she will take this as a reason to have sex with you.
Reply
#22
(05-23-2021, 03:32 AM)churros Wrote: I just got back from a date with some late twenties Korean-American, sat in the park, drank two beers, back to my place. When I put my arm around her, she says: "by the way, I'm not sexually attracted to you." I responded: "well, in that case you should leave. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

I don't really care whether this girl is down or not. But why was it necessary to waste two hours, getting extra beers, etc.? It was like she expected me to say "okay" and continue hanging out. Now my brain is foggy for the rest of the evening and I resent having wasted my Saturday evening with her.

There were some warning signs. For example, she tried to take the lead when choosing the bodega, paths around the park for example. But that is hardly enough to cut her off so early in the date, even though I clocked it.

How do you sniff out time wasters efficiently? And why do girls engage in this behaviour?

It sounds like deep down this girl didn't really excite you sexually. You mention she was Americanized so while she may have been pretty aesthetically, your desire for her may have been flat. 

I'm willing to bet that may manifested in some way on the outing while y'all were strolling the park — not enough touching, not enough of her giggling, not enough sexual tension, not enough strong eye contact, etc.

From where I sit, and based on the limited window of this story, this one doesn't seem to be a total time waster because she met up with you, got a little bit boozy with you on a cheap date, and accepted an invitation back to your place. It seems like you did things right mechanically and logistically but for whatever reason the vibe wasn't there.

Ideally she would've dropped off earlier if she wasn't interested, but if you get a girl back to your place that's normally a major green light that things are progressing. No way you could've known in this case.
Reply
#23
I'll admit this girl was doing many small things to irritate me over the course of the date, like stopping to pet every single dog we saw on the way. Perhaps I could have nipped that shit in the bud if I called it out early enough. But Americans love their dogs...

She was one of those women who considers herself more intelligent than she actually is, thanks to her wonderful art school education. Completely contradictory opinions and gave me the usual sermon about LGBT shit when I made an off-colour joke.

But I can't just blame her for wasting my time; it is in women's nature to extract as much time and resources as possible. I just wasn't escalating adequately and was unconsciously focusing on trying to be "cool" rather than putting myself in the danger zone.

This probably made me seem like an attractive friend – an art school beta like the rest of her orbiters – rather than someone she would fuck. I didn't intimidate her enough. Like, the bitch just made herself right at home when entering my apartment. She did not have the fear of dominance that, on some level, is necessary for sexual arousal.

The average girl doesn't need intimidation. But I think you have to cop dominant girls early on and be a little extra masculine with them.

I'm also going to avoid drinking beers on dates and just bring tea instead. I don't need beers to make a move and it taxes my body unnecessarily.
Reply
#24
In the future, try to avoid dates on weekends. Many women are just bored, and will go out on a Fri or Sunday with the best looking guy of all the guys messaging her, but she could be bored nonetheless.

given that she did came back to your place, perhaps she did not like something you said, or the color of your shirt, or that your head made a movement that remembered her of a secondary actor of Grey's Anatomy that made her feel uncomfortable on her period.

The reasons are so much, and so ridiculous, that it is best to just learn for signs of flakiness or time wasters. Every women knows that you want sex. But she does not always know if she would like sex with you or she is just bored or wasting her time (and yours). This is the game.
Reply
#25
Should call it "penis paradise" rather than "dick paradise" for the alliteration.

Kinda like poosy paradise
If you haven't met anyone, I'll assume you're lying (h/t to Teedub from the old forum)
My response to the old "why you losers trash the West?"
Reply
#26
I just don't give them a second chance anymore. When we agree on a certain date to meet up and they suddenly 'are busy' or 'can't make it' or whatever, I just tell them they are not the type of girl I am looking for.
Or when they make 'game' like, I don't give my number to x guy or whatever. Ok good for you, I lose then instantly attraction to you.
Usually they don't even offer an alternatives in both situations.
Reply
#27
(05-25-2021, 01:14 PM)Foothunter Wrote: I just don't give them a second chance anymore. When we agree on a certain date to meet up and they suddenly 'are busy' or 'can't make it' or whatever, I just tell them they are not the type of girl I am looking for.
Or when they make 'game' like, I don't give my number to x guy or whatever. Ok good for you, I lose then instantly attraction to you.
Usually they don't even offer an alternatives in both situations.

100% this mindset. 

Back in the days, i used to do the opposite and over game by trying to figure out the davinci mystery. It's simply a waste of time. If she's interested, she WILL make time. You lose more and more value the more she sees you're putting up with her shit. 

Too many of my friends try too hard on the no and maybe girls, when the gold is in the yes girls. Save your time and dignity. 9/10 of the times you convert the no girl into a yes girl you feel like it's not even worth it post bang.
Reply
#28
Agreed with what others have said. I've learned - through much frustrating experience - to spot red flags along the way.. She doesn't ask for your name after chatting a bit or after you ask for hers? Stop interaction. Tries to influence in any way where the date will take place? Don't meet her. Meets for drinks and tries to order some fancy/pricey drink or champagne instead of regular cocktails or wine or beer? Bail out while you can. Meets for drinks and tries to order appetizer or food? If drinks have already been ordered, settle the drinks bill and bail out. I got particularly annoyed with these sleazy free meal sluts that I sometimes settle the drinks bill and just get up and leave without a word. Otherwise, 9/10 they'll tell you after the dinner that they have to go meet their friend or some other bullshit. The 1/10 girls I did bang after staying through the meal wasn't worth the annoyance. Asks you to cover taxi or Uber before you had sex with her? Tell her to take public transport and stop talking to her. Oftentimes it's very hard to eject when a sexy girl is sitting right next to you and your dick is trying to convince you that there's a chance you'll bang her, but if my gut feeling/rational brain is telling me otherwise, best to not throw good money after bad, cut your losses if any and leave.
Reply
#29
^Yeah. But once again, you need to be generating a lot more leads with that strategy, which is more difficult in the west. So your energy always ends up being wasted somewhere along the way. Classic game was always about getting from no to yes. Have times really changed?
Reply
#30
(05-29-2021, 02:10 PM)greekgod Wrote:
(05-25-2021, 01:14 PM)Foothunter Wrote: I just don't give them a second chance anymore. When we agree on a certain date to meet up and they suddenly 'are busy' or 'can't make it' or whatever, I just tell them they are not the type of girl I am looking for.
Or when they make 'game' like, I don't give my number to x guy or whatever. Ok good for you, I lose then instantly attraction to you.
Usually they don't even offer an alternatives in both situations.

100% this mindset. 

Back in the days, i used to do the opposite and over game by trying to figure out the davinci mystery. It's simply a waste of time. If she's interested, she WILL make time. You lose more and more value the more she sees you're putting up with her shit. 

Too many of my friends try too hard on the no and maybe girls, when the gold is in the yes girls. Save your time and dignity. 9/10 of the times you convert the no girl into a yes girl you feel like it's not even worth it post bang.

In real estate we call these motivated buyers or motivated sellers.  

So let's say you're wanting to make a good deal, you want a motivated buyer or seller on the other side.  Otherwise you're basically wasting your time and even if you do close the deal, the terms won't be as favorable to you compared to what they would be if you'd nexted that buyer/seller and instead focused on the motivated buyers/sellers.

So yeah, agree 100%, sure you can make some deals here and there to fill in the time in between the really good deals, but when you look back at the year you usually think "Man, that really wasn't worth the effort."

Same with girls and real estate.
Reply
#31
there is not only yes, no and maybe girls. Well technically yes. But some maybe girls are doable to turn around and other will make your life hard. You literally have to do anything correct for the negative maybe ones. I would focus on the yes girls and the stronger maybe girls, that perhaps give you some shit, but generally comply.
Reply
#32
(05-29-2021, 04:49 PM)churros Wrote: ^Yeah. But once again, you need to be generating a lot more leads with that strategy, which is more difficult in the west. So your energy always ends up being wasted somewhere along the way. Classic game was always about getting from no to yes. Have times really changed?

At the end of the day, the guys are right. From an effort perspective, 9/10 times it's better to cut lose and focus elsewhere.

But who among us hasn't got stuck trying to turn (as Ilka puts) a negative-maybe?

There's good or at least ok reasons to put up with being stuck, like hotter than your usual or you enjoy the dates, then bad reasons, like to break a dry spell.
   

I think it can be worth it, especially at home when you're not time poor, you just gotta make sure you're enjoying the chase.

Then if it feels like it's going nowhere, there's no point ending on a maybe, so yep, get old school game-y and polarizing to a yes/no.
Reply
#33
Something I've not read anywhere before but has proven to be true for me is the power of deleting a dead leads number. If I wind up obsessing over why no reply eventually accepting the fact and deleting the number feels like a weight off my shoulder. Its hard to do but its like entering the acceptance stage of grief lmao.
Reply
#34
Word ^ and here’s the best part. When you delete someone off WhatsApp they usually can tell as your profile pic changes. This has gotten me bangs as a girls hamster will spin and contact me
Reply
#35
I've found that girls who don't drink are usually boring prudes and almost never fuck on the first date, so now I'm screeneing them out heavily. Not that I necessarily need to drink on a date but if a girl says she doesn't, she's most likely a timewaster. What do you guys think?
Reply
#36
(06-02-2021, 08:03 PM)markB Wrote: I've found that girls who don't drink are usually boring prudes and almost never fuck on the first date, so now I'm screeneing them out heavily. Not that I necessarily need to drink on a date but if a girl says she doesn't, she's most likely a timewaster. What do you guys think?

I don't know how obvious this is, but the general rule is, the more they drink, the sluttier they are.  Most of my notches are from girls who were heavy drinkers.  One notable exception to this is Colombians.  Many Colombians either don't drink or drink very little, but are still easy to get.
Reply
#37
(06-02-2021, 08:03 PM)markB Wrote: I've found that girls who don't drink are usually boring prudes and almost never fuck on the first date, so now I'm screeneing them out heavily. Not that I necessarily need to drink on a date but if a girl says she doesn't, she's most likely a timewaster. What do you guys think?

I purposely screen for girls that don't drink or drink very little. It usually means they may be more old school and want a relationship or the potential for a relationship, with sex, which I look for...they're less likely to make your dick burn a few days afterwards.
Reply
#38
Yeah have to agree. Drinkers are trouble in my book, if for no other reason than you end up drinking with them. Some girls need to get drunk to have sex, that's a big pain in the ass. Also she's probably a really dirty slag if she has that kind of habit.
Reply
#39
I banged plenty of girls on the first date without drinking, most of them seem to be social drinkers but not party/drunk girls. Had the worst experience with a girl who was clearly too much into that and she even poured beer on my dick, never again.
Reply
#40
Pouring beer on your dick is too much. Don't be a prude
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)