How to succed with women with a more serious vibe
I really cant do the extreme extroverted,jumping, full of energy type game. Im simply not that type of guy. It really tears me down when i do that type of game even do i do succed time from time but it feels like im having on a mask. Like im not being me i dont feel comfortable,

So i want to focus more on my real serious type of personality and i want to be able to use that frame more efficiently in game. The problem is when i cold approach im not able to convey that serioussness in a more direct sex way. It doesnt translate well with a person you are just meeting,

But girls that know me earlier and that i met in some form of Socialized way love it girls in school, my sisters friends, girls that i meet on a weekly basis seem to love my serious vibe. Basically i want to be able to use my wow hes so quiet and introspective i wonder what he is thinking about type of vibe with girls that i just met so they dont perceive me as boring and such.

Some info and tips in this one.
Thanks bro much appreciated
You can rock different styles. Avoid coming off as uptight or taking things "too serious".
Yea I feel like I have to be "on" and talkative to hook them, but when they spend more time around me they notice how quiet I am and it doesnt end well.
Girls need way more social interaction than men, I dont see how to solve this unless I find an autistic girl to marry.
Dale Carnegie said to be interested in other people. This works twice as well on intelligent people, and ten times as well on non-intelligent people who think they are intelligent.

Simply ask her some questions and get her talking. Listen. Start with light topics and work up to serious things like politics or economics. The more she talks the more she connects to you.
Common misconception that every guy has to be a clone of the other in terms of their game. I don't think a lot of guys could copy my magic sauce and have it work the same way for them.
I think it's good to not read someone else's take on what works for them if it deviates far from your personality.

I'm more about emotional connection, which works with more introverted chicks, and can be invoked with less energy as well. I can play the dancing clown as well, but it rarely has been the move that has gotten me quality women (more one night stands).

If you're in a club, you really have no choice but being loud and extroverted, so find a different venue to make something happen is key.
Clubs are really just for extroverted young guys.
You kind of figured it out yourself, your style doesn't work with cold approaching, so probably you shouldn't spend too much time doing that. The only way I see it work is if you are high level in looks and presence. You go very direct, hand out your number and then remain mysterious, no small talk, just 'hey, you seem interesting, let's have dinner sometime, here is my number' and off you go. For that to work, you gotta appear like a man in demand, that has little time and goes straight to the target without any bullshitting. Forget this style if you are under 25, preferably you would be 30+ and look like a man who has got it together.

If not that, then aim for online game and social circle. Especially the latter would probably work for you if you do indeed have a lot of things going for you, you need to activate the girlfriends of your buddies, your cousins, your neighbours etc. for them to recommend you to someone. For dates, it's probably better to be in a quiet talking environment, think dinners, coffee or a walk in the park. For night activities, perhaps consider some unconventional ones which play to your character, maybe theatre, opera, some shows that show culture.

In these situations, you gotta take the lead even though you are introverted, ask her premeditated questions indicating your interest in her and making her qualify for you. Don't talk about yourself too much, remain somewhat mysterious. Try to show humour whenever possible and remember being serious does not mean you gotta talk about serious topics all the time (politics, philosophy, books, society etc.). Only talk about those when it is clear the girl is interested in that, although they might be your favorite topics, let her indicate whenever she wants to go that way. It will take some training.

Once you start dating, you probably should self check out on parties and other uncomfortable social events, let her go and don't be jealous. Don't even ask about it. Just say you got other things to do or you are hanging with friends.
(04-01-2020, 05:37 PM)TheEsotericCushite Wrote: ...

So i want to focus more on my real serious type of personality and i want to be able to use that frame more efficiently in game. The problem is when i cold approach im not able to convey that serioussness in a more direct sex way. It doesnt translate well with a person you are just meeting,

This is a topic near to me. I have a somewhat serious demeanor and it's always a balancing act, especially in extroverted cultures like the USA or Latin America.

You've gotten some solid advice from Rottenapple and you seem perceptive to some of the drawbacks of your own personality while recognizing how to maximize its strengths.

I'm also a somewhat serious type, and I'll go into specifics how I manage this aspect of mine in relation to a social world that is at odds with my nature.

First off, be out and about, get involved in mixed group activities, and get a positive reputation

You don't have to be hypersocial, just cordial and well-received.

Some things that have worked for me: after-work running club, weekend volleyball, pottery, dance classes, indoor/outdoor, rock climbing, figure painting, language lessons/meetups, campus groups (if you're of the age). Just show up, do the activity, and build a simple rapport with the guys and girls you like.

Eventually you'll burrow into something that catches your interest while aligning with your aptitude and you'll come to be known and established.

If you get really good, you can lead or guide the group which is a real status boost.

Second, a serious demeanor doesn't mean an absence of playfulness.

Your sense of humor may be somewhat wry or deadpan, but you should cultivate a sense of playfulness to the extent that you can. Almost nobody, girls included, enjoys unabating heaviness. It's wearisome and draining.

Examples? You can hip bump a girl while you're walking. You can tell them unibrows will be a popular trend some day and that you're that they won't have friends because they won't be able to grow one. If she complains about something tell her that she should be a cage fighter to resolve her anger problems. etc... You don't have to be an energetic clown to do this stuff, but you do need a playful dimension.

Third, it's best to avoid extended forays into serious topics.

As a 'serious guy', you're likely informed and highly knowledgeable about a variety of subjects. That's great and it should be nurtured, but privately.

In social situations and intimate encounters, you almost never want to go into debates or spiels about politics, your job, finance, spirituality or, god forbid, anything technical — especially early on. They don't care, and it's not sexy... even if they're nerdy or analytical.

One of the best way for a 'serious guy' to keep the pussy juices flowing is to play to a strength of being casually observant. You make a seemingly perceptive observation ('that girl looks like she wants a lot of attention', 'that couple over there is on a first date and the guy seems nervous', 'you get rattled and doubt yourself a lot'), let her say something about it, and change the topic to something else.

Fourth, do things that favor activity and 'the good life'

Drinks or coffee is the new dinner date — it's boring and stale.

Orienting your time together toward an activity means less expression necessary from you.

I'll take girls dancing, indoor rock climbing, to museums/galleries, on bike rides on a bike route through a nice part of town, hikes, weekend farmers markets and flea markets, paddle boarding (if they're sporty), or for walks in a city center or body of water lake.

I avoid coffee, bars (unless there's pool or darts), movies, concerts or anything passive or sedentary.

If you're trying to bang her ASAP, then obviously do one of these close to your house.

If we're going somewhere public, I like to bring some light food from the prepared foods section of the grocery store — things like blanched almonds and olives, bread and spread (like pesto), or cashews and dark chocolate to share on some steps or a park bench — it builds intimacy to casually share food together. I'll tell them to bring something like napkins or some plastic forks so that they have to 'buy in' and contribute to the experience. If she and you smoke, hand roll a cigarette.

Fifth, limit public social time to an hour or so.

I've always had mixed feelings about parties.

Call me misanthropic, but I don't enjoy the performative aspect of competing 'engaging' personalities, the manufactured enthusiasm, the exaggerated expressiveness, the emphasis on drinking, and hearing stupid stories that always have 'striking coincidences'.

Sometimes you get stuck in these situations, and if your personality doesn't lend itself to the froth of large, loud group interactions, then you must find a way to be cordial while present and strategically withdraw. It's best to just 'make an appearance', and have some small talk.

The easiest thing is to probe and ask a few conversational questions of those who are more energetic without divulging too much of yourself. Chat up the girl you like one on one and mention it'd be fun to do something more active another time.

Sixth, don't take her too seriously keep sporadic contact.

Be good enough to her but keep her at arm's distance, familiarity breeds contempt and you need to remain elusive especially if you're playing the 'serious and mysterious' angle.

That means no texting all day, and not gettting domesticated: everything from avoiding 'aw what's wrong?' when she gets pouty to not habitually sending 'good morning'/'good night' texts.

This is what she deserves: she's not more interesting than the world 'out there'.

Besides, most girls seem to derive a perverse and inexplicable satisfaction in crawling through glass to earn morsels of attention from men they find intriguing. In building and maintaining that intrigue, you won't find a bigger lever than her imagination in your absence.

BONUS: learn a partner dance.

This is more advanced but if you learn how to dance and lead something like salsa, lindy, or swing, then you can sub-communicate something primal to a girl. It's highly behavioral — you can tell her something moving your body and moving hers that you can't in words. You also can smash through the invisible touch barrier that often exists early on.

You don't have to be a 'passionate sexy dancer'... There are a lot of clowns who do impressive advanced dance moves, but in my experience, it's not necessary or effective.

What's most important is that you can lead a girl through some basics, develop a firm and gentle lead, get a sense of musicality, and get the right touch and right vibe congruent to your personality. I'd recommend avoiding dance-scene girls; they're a waste of time and they won't get smitten because a lot of what is appealing about dancing is the novelty factor for a girl that hasn't done it much.

Ideally you find a girl with decent rhythm who you can establish a connection with and gradually 'train up'.

Caveat emptor: dancing, on its own, usually isn't enough, but if everything else is in order it can overwhelmingly tilt the balance into your favor. It took me lots of lessons and lots of years on and off to develop this skill but now in my mid-30's it's starting to pay off. I can find venues and girls that are highly receptive to what I'm about and I can skip some of the forced aspects of inane get-to-know-you chitchat and verbal peacocking


As a serious person, you're always going to be swimming upstream, but there are ways that you can avoid the heavier current. Good luck, hope what I wrote gives you some food for when this pandemic subsides.
As an aside, please only Carnegie women you're trying to fuck and not me at a house party.
Thanks too you billy and rottenapple very much, You kind of reset my mind in a way with your post. Im not sure i can make it work but i will do. Hopefully cold approaching works for me sometime. I like talking to strangers lol its enjoyable for me

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