Older Guys (40+)
#21
(11-13-2020, 09:13 PM)Wintermute Wrote: Whenever this topic comes up I usually see someone ask what advice you'd give to a young man. But what about advice for someone in their mid thirites?

Grow a pair. Just kidding. But not really kidding

(11-16-2020, 11:20 PM)Lino Wrote:
(01-15-2020, 08:18 PM)WombRaider Wrote:
Quote:Further, when I am able to pull a woman most westerners would consider on my level she is generally a shit-testing pain in the ass who is looking to upgrade despite me knowing intuitively I am probably the best she will ever get at this point in her life.  Yes, they still shit test at 35-40+ (and beyond!!!) even when they are carrying around looser and dryer vaginas.

So throughout their days, they never really make contact with reality. Kind of sad.

In the West a bunch of them never make contact with reality, yes even at 35 +

Fuck these pussified feminist societies!

Yes I agree these old bags will even give men a hard time.
I be nutting in these bitches!
https://youtu.be/ixCrLAgk4YI
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#22
I am sure everyone has different standards to enjoy, so everyone, enjoy all your "8's", because I can't find one wherever I look
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#23
Set urself up financially when u are young
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#24
(11-18-2020, 08:38 PM)El Puto Loco Wrote: I am sure everyone has different standards to enjoy, so everyone, enjoy all your "8's", because I can't find one wherever I look

Statistically an 8 should not be that common haha. Perhaps some are generous with their scoring! But really a young woman who is average or better should get you hard!
I be nutting in these bitches!
https://youtu.be/ixCrLAgk4YI
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#25
Yes, she does, haha
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#26
Let's get back to basics.  What are your Three Kings? 

Mine are smoKing, drinKing, and fucKing. 

Of course, if you don't like to smoke or drink, you can replace either with joKing -- if that is your want and talent. 

I leave the rest up to you, although always keep in mind that three-outta-three is great but two-outta-three ain't bad*.

* It should not have to be said, but I feel our trolls might run with it: the Three Kings here put forth have nothing to do with the bs political faction that also uses three-K's.  The Three Kings, here spoken of, are all about fun in the sun and getting shit done.
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#27
(12-04-2020, 11:35 PM)Helikron Wrote: Let's get back to basics.  What are your Three Kings? 

Mine are smoKing, drinKing, and fucKing. 

Of course, if you don't like to smoke or drink, you can replace either with joKing -- if that is your want and talent. 

I leave the rest up to you, although always keep in mind that three-outta-three is great but two-outta-three ain't bad*.

* It should not have to be said, but I feel our trolls might run with it: the Three Kings here put forth have nothing to do with the bs political faction that also uses three-K's.  The Three Kings, here spoken of, are all about fun in the sun and getting shit done.

I remember when everyone smoked. I mean so what if you die of lung cancer 10 years before the guy who doesn't smoke. The last 10 years you can't remember your name and wear a diaper. Better to burn out than to fade away.
I be nutting in these bitches!
https://youtu.be/ixCrLAgk4YI
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#28
(12-05-2020, 01:14 PM)Mister Happy Wrote:
(12-04-2020, 11:35 PM)Helikron Wrote: Let's get back to basics.  What are your Three Kings? 

Mine are smoKing, drinKing, and fucKing. 

Of course, if you don't like to smoke or drink, you can replace either with joKing -- if that is your want and talent. 

I leave the rest up to you, although always keep in mind that three-outta-three is great but two-outta-three ain't bad*.

* It should not have to be said, but I feel our trolls might run with it: the Three Kings here put forth have nothing to do with the bs political faction that also uses three-K's.  The Three Kings, here spoken of, are all about fun in the sun and getting shit done.

I remember when everyone smoked. I mean so what if you die of lung cancer 10 years before the guy who doesn't smoke. The last 10 years you can't remember your name and wear a diaper. Better to burn out than to fade away.

That's the spirit!
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#29
(01-15-2020, 05:05 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote: As you get older the really young women (15+ years younger) won't flirt as much, or make contact with you as you pass them on the street or in the mall. You won't get those coy eye-fucking approach invitations anymore. What this means is that you have to be more aggressive running your game. You won't be able to rely on your looks and wait for girls to check you out. You'll have to go in cold and be prepared for her objections to the age difference with a snappy line and the proper frame. Additionally start considering meeting girls in places other than bars and clubs that cater to younger crowds. 

I have a different attitude on this.  I think you can get those eye fucks, but it has less to do with your looks than your status.

When I finished grad school I read a book from the 80s called Dress for Success.  Back then people thought what color tie you wore matters.  (It can - red is good for attracting the opposite sex but is agressive and a poor choice for a job interview).

One thing in that book stands out to me.  It was the story of a lawyer.  He had a trial in a lower middle class jurisdiction.  So he dressed down, jeans and courdoroy blazer and tie or something like that.  He lost the case.  When they interviewed the jury afterwards, they said he didn't look like a lawyer.  Which was true, except it worked against him rather than for him.

So the takeaway is look how you are supposed to look, or how she wants you to look.  In most cases, your 40+ year old abs are not going to compete with the 20-something's abs.  But the suit you wear, the confidence in the way you look at her, walk and talk, the car you drive, your pad, etc. all show your status.

It sort of goes back to your philosophy of game.  If you read the game books, guys like Mystery tried to claim that it worked on anyone.  Well, it works, but not on anyone.  Attraction is not a choice, its inherent.  But not all women are going to be attracted to status over abs.  So you have think of game as more zen, and let it come to you.  

Combine these two concepts, there are a certain percentage of women who are attracted to older men, but only if you act like an older man.  They are attracted to your status, confidence, wit, charm, access to things like a weekend trip or a meal at a restaurant or how to fix a toilet or a million little things you take for granted but a clueless 20 year old thinks is a miracle.

If you are older than most people at a party or restaurant or whereever, embrace that difference.  Dress a little better than everyone else.  Be a little more polite than everyone else.  Dominate the conversation a little less, and show a little more interest in others, than everyone else.

So don't buy tickets to the EDM concert like a creeper.  Instead, tell her you know this great BBQ joint where they have live blues music on Sunday evenings, and she shoudl come with you.  She's probably never heard blues music or had a date where she ate messy ribs with her hands.  Or drive 30 minutes out of the city and set up your telescope.  Or tell her you need to buy a certain piece of furniture for your pad and you are going to check out some antique or consigment shops and she should come with you.  It doesn't really matter what it is.  Its not impressive.  But there is no guy in his 20s inviting her to cool adventures like this.  And if you pick her up in a decent car, open the door for her, and maybe get a meal like its no big thing you really set yourself apart.  And by now you should know how to introduce kino and escalate, so its game over.

As an aside, if you want to see how this is done, there is a great scene in the film Ronin where DeNiro is in the South of France.  He's part of a CIA-type team that is surveiling some people staying at an extremely high-end hotel, think Monte Carlo.  So he picks us some nice clothes - a high quality sweater and a suede jacket.  Its worth watching just to see his transformation from a guy in a raincoat who looks like a street person to someone who looks like a high roller. He goes there with a stunning blonde.  He then politely orders people around.  Stand here.  Take our picture.  Get the backround.  Take more.  Do this.  Do that.  Compelte alpha.  Later, the blonde is all over him.  Attraction is not a choice.  DeNiro was 55 when that film was made.

https://bamfstyle.com/2018/05/12/ronin-d...de-jacket/
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#30
I'll second what Hypno said. I'm getting more into fashion and I sometimes think: what's the point of all this detail, who even notices? Let me tell you, the girls do. I once picked up a plate from day game and she said my shoes were the first thing she noticed.

Plus you can't coast on style from your younger days. I used to have good alternative style and then became too old for it, floating into an amorphous bland style for years before I developed a better fashion sense.

Guys may wish to check out r/ frugal male fashion for good deals and tips.
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#31
Thats good, use anything that gives you an advantage.

But my point wasnt' to go looking for things that give you an advantage. My point was that you probably already dress better, speak with more confidence, are better calibrated socially, have a bigger repertoire of interesting things to do than the 20-something guy you think you are competing with. Stuff we think is ordinary - like going to a restaurant, shopping for furniture, hitting balls at the range, shooting gusn at the range, volunteering to coach a little league team, etc. is all interesting stuff. Stuff where you are lead others is particularly good because its an attraction switch. As an example, when I was dating my wife, I had just bought a fixer upper and I told her I couldn't go out with her Friday night because I was going to Lowess to buy gardening stuff for my house that I was going to spend Saturday planting; so she invited herself and helped me pick plants on Friday night and I planted my seeds all weekend.

If you think about yourself from the point of view a 20-year old child, there is a lot about you already that is impressive.
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#32
(12-09-2020, 02:01 PM)churros Wrote: I'll second what Hypno said. I'm getting more into fashion and I sometimes think: what's the point of all this detail, who even notices? Let me tell you, the girls do. I once picked up a plate from day game and she said my shoes were the first thing she noticed.

Plus you can't coast on style from your younger days. I used to have good alternative style and then became too old for it, floating into an amorphous bland style for years before I developed a better fashion sense.

Thirded. Style is always important, but as I continue through my mid-30's, I'm finding a rugged-refined style is what works best with my age, body-type, and demeanor.  

That means fewer sneakers and more higher quality leather boots + shoes, fewer nylon jackets and more leather + waxed cotton. Also, the occasional well-fitted button-down oxford or flannel. 

Pants are still slim, tailored fit, but wearing darker denims more often and more chinos.

I expect I can rock this look well into my early 50's.
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#33
Self-debate on whether to put this in the documentary thread or here.  Having had a few sips of vodka, I decided that here was the place.  I know we have some bros around here who were in the 15-18 range in 1986 and probably loved that heavy metal, thrash, and punk stuff like I did -- and, like me, probably still do.

Enjoy. 

The closing remarks (from 2020) by one of the dudes in the band back then are right on target.

I understand there are more vids in this same vein by David Hoffman to come.

I leave the rest to you.






-Hel
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#34
Bringing this thread back to life as someone mentioned it on the RVF Archive thread.

I'm in the 40+ crowd. Have been for a while. Sure, things change as we get to....er..... and I hate this term..... "middle-age" - but in many ways, things improve too. Here's what I've experienced.

- We don't look for approval from others.
  With experience comes confidence. And with numerous relationships, both of the romantic and the platonic types, comes the knowledge that we don't
  need to appease anyone or please anyone. We will give the right amount of affection, attention, and respect to others and expect it back. If we don't get it, we
  will politely remind the other person if they step out of line. If they still act dis-respectfully, we will walk. No one person is worth more than our self-esteem.

- We don't try to impress others.
  Again, we become more comfortable in our own skin, and with our own lives. At times, there are hardships, for sure, but we don't engage in pity-parties, or
  boast about our achievements via a constant stream of Insta selfies. We live our lives as best we can, with what we have to work with. That sense of neediness
  has long gone and we are very comfortable sitting in a bar, cafe or restaurant on our own. We no longer need to boast about our latest hike up a volcano
  in Tagaytay, or the drunken nights on Pub Street in Siem Reap, but when others are talking about these, we have enough material to be able to contribute.

- We become better communicators.
 Our listening skills improve, cos we are no longer focused with the "OMG, last year I did this....I did that....and then I did.....".
 And we are more empathetic to what the other person is saying. This helps with calibration in a conversation, and has been an enormous help for me in dating.

- We are more worldly wise and financially secure.
  Our greater life experiences means that we can hold a conversation about most things. And engage with people of different backgrounds, religions, cultures
  and age groups with ease. The financial security (if we've been careful with money in our 20's and 30's) means that we can stay in fancy-shamcy hotels and
  don't need to share a dorm with 6 others (although that has it's own attraction too.), nor worry about who's going to pay the bill when on a date. We can take
  our favourite girl to that sky bar she's always wanted to go to. Or eat at an exclusive restaurant  - not because we are trying to woo her, but because we want
  to go to these places ourselves and enjoy having her as company. This sense of financial carefree-ness is a massive aphrodisiac.


- Lots of women - esp in their 20's - love the older guy.
  Seriously. I've banged girls who were literally 30 years younger than me at the time. If someone had told me this was possible when I was a 20 year old, I
  would never have believed them. There's a significant pool of girls, worldwide, who have "daddy issues" - and they use that term themselves when on a date -
  and they secretly desire the older, well-put-together guy.
  But just being the older-guy is not enough. If I was an old, fat, balding, low-energy, miserable sod, I'm sure the only sex I would get would be with my right
  hand. And that would be after lots of pleading. The usual caveat applies - if we focus on our appearance, confidence, dress-sense, social skills, game,
financial-standing, then pussy follows naturally. And it's not just pussy - guys want to be friends with other guys who have their shit together.

So, any under 40's guys out there who think that their time is running out - it's not as bad as you may think. Gravity and biology both try to pull things
downwards, the body is not as supple as it used to be, and you get a lot more aches and pains, but with proper working out, diet, positive mindset,
abundance-mentality, all sort of adventures can be had for many years to come.
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#35
^

- We have weird quirks when writing from the computer like making new lines for no reason or making three spaces before the '.' at the end of a sentence
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#36
I'm well into my forties and definitely feel a confidence I never had in my 20's and 30's, and I know I project it. I match my clothes and personal presentation to match it. It's not that idiot cockiness I know I gave off years ago. I get faaaar more looks now than I ever did then, in this shithole USA and elsewhere. My mindset is I will take what I want... and I often get it. If I don't, I barely think twice.. whereas years ago I would be butthurt and whining to my equally embarrassing buddies. I would give a few points of advice to the younger boys.

1) Mind your diet, exercise routine, and moisturizing.
2) Don't waste your money on frivolous shit like fancy cars, toys, eating out too much etc. Live comfortably and simplistically. STOP RENTING. Property is always a solid investment. Renting is throwing your money out both windows.  
3)Diversify into money markets, don't go for schemes like crypto or day trading unless you're blessed with play money. If you're a regular Joe invest in time tested mutual funds and the like and leave them there.
4) Have fun now. Invest in the future, but not to the detriment of the present. Buy experiences, not things.
5) Don't marry unless somehow she makes you feel MORE free. This is rare but possible.
6) Take risks, of every kind. The  few wins will eclipse the many losses in overall value.
7) Remember there are billions of pussies out there, and not one is made of gold.
8) You are not as important as you think you are.
9) Your Mom is the only woman you can trust.
10) A solid bro beats any ho
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#37
(05-12-2021, 12:44 AM)k pop Wrote: STOP RENTING. Property is always a solid investment. Renting is throwing your money out both windows.  

It really depends, this isn't true most of the time in my opinion, unless you are buying a house in cash you are still losing money by paying interest + upkeep + taxes, etc and you are locked down to one location, not to mention that you have your entire net worth tied down to a single illiquid asset, much better to pay rent and diversify your investments while young, once you have enough money so that your primary residence wouldn't represent a significant % of your net worth then I would go ahead and buy. Yes, in 20 years real estate prices will be through the roof most likely, so will the market.
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#38
Stop renting and stop spending money on frivolous shit is the magic combo
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#39
(05-12-2021, 12:58 AM)Shifty Wrote:
(05-12-2021, 12:44 AM)k pop Wrote: STOP RENTING. Property is always a solid investment. Renting is throwing your money out both windows.  

It really depends, this isn't true most of the time in my opinion, unless you are buying a house in cash you are still losing money by paying interest + upkeep + taxes, etc and you are locked down to one location, not to mention that you have your entire net worth tied down to a single illiquid asset, much better to pay rent and diversify your investments while young, once you have enough money so that your primary residence wouldn't represent a significant % of your net worth then I would go ahead and buy. Yes, in 20 years real estate prices will be through the roof most likely, so will the market.

People underestimate how much it really costs to maintain a house, especially a single-family home. Even if everything in the home is working fine and you aren't spending much on maintenance, every single item in and on the house is depreciating every single day. That includes the dishwasher, the refrigerator, the carpet, the siding, the roof, the windows, the furnace, etc. You need to budget for this. If you were to actually track this all on a spreadsheet and project the replacement and repair dates, you'd find that the house is quietly costing you a lot of money each month.

Most people never think about this and are shocked -- shocked! -- when one day their refrigerator stops working and they need to buy a new one. That goes on a credit card and they continue a cycle of debt.

Renting doesn't "solve" any of this, as the costs are all baked into the rent. But it certainly simplifies things. If you're financially disciplined and will invest your extra money, I think renting is fine. The problem is that most people will spend all that they earn, and then some. Buying a house on a mortgage is a form of "forced saving" in the form of equity, and that's the best that many people are ever going to do.

Also, to anyone who owns a house "free and clear" or aspires to: Stop paying your property taxes for a year or two. See what happens.
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#40
(05-13-2021, 04:03 PM)WombRaider Wrote: People underestimate how much it really costs to maintain a house, 

Yes, it doesn't sound like everyone has owned a house.  You need 1% for maintenance (mowing the lawn, appliances) and another 1%+ for repairs.  The standard real estate commission is 5%-6%, plus local title transfer fees.  Call that 3% annual costs on top of the mortgage.  I presume that local property taxes offset the federal interest deduction (although that can go either way).

Your housing investment is just a growing perpetuity that saves on rent:

     Price  =  rent/(r + 3% - g),

where r is the mortgage rate and g is the long-run growth rate, i.e., inflation.  If mortgage rates are only 2% above inflation, then you get:

     Price/rent  =  rent/5%  =  20*rent.

You can adjust the assumptions yourself and decide whether real estate is overpriced.

Of course, it is often hard to rent houses and install a pool.  Conversely, it is expensive to travel while paying a mortgage on your empty house.
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