The Vietnam Thread
Just had a date with a super cute 19yo. She was brave, met me outside without speaking hardly any English. God I need to learn Vietnamese asap

Police got me for running a red light on the way home though. Tried to get 100 dollars out of me. Did they think it was my 1st rodeo lol
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(04-02-2019, 04:28 AM)Dash Wrote: @262

How did you know she was depressive? What did she do?

I think the time needed varies by how well the guy knows what to look for and how observant/astute he is. Most guys (and women) don't even have a list or things they are actively constantly scanning for when dating. I am always fairly amazed at the responses I get from people when I ask them what type of person they are looking for or what kind of person makes a good partner. Usually super simple and vague. I can tell they have put zero thought into it.

I go over how I figured out she was depressed in this thread (not just this post): https://swooptheworld.com/forum/showthre...97#pid7997

I should also note that I thought I was observant as well, having read sources such as Rollo Tomassi, etc (same ones you likely did) and gaming extensively. But the truth is, the girl will most likely only show you her true self at least a year after you first meet her. And no, it's not like she's intentionally deceiving you. Her hormones, state of mind, etc actually MAKE her a different person in that first year or so.

Here's another way to look at it: Spend the twelve months or so to get to know her, before you end up spending years or decades on something that's harder to get out of, like kids. If she's attracted enough to you, she'll wait.

What that also means is that you've got to be careful with who you give that year or so to. "Hire slow and fire fast" as well. Which also means you need to be in a situation where you're spinning plates at first.

Definitely read the book I recommend in that thread, especially for a wife-hunt ("The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage" - https://www.amazon.com/Tactical-Guide-Wo...0990686442). It's a book from this side of the Internet that goes much deeper into what to look for, than most other sources from this side of the Internet.
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#262

How did her depression actually manifest into problems between you and her?

Mental things are tricky in a relationship. Issues and disorders can spring up years and years later. (bipolar with my father for example)

There is no way to truly completely safe guard yourself from mental things.
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(04-02-2019, 10:51 AM)lighter Wrote:
(04-02-2019, 08:10 AM)Vic Vega Wrote: Anyway, I'm not trying to put Dash or his job down. He's got a cushy, good job for Nam. I'm sure when he gets married he's gonna open his own school and make a fortune. He should just do it within the next 5 years. I've seen the same thing happen in China where they were welcoming foreigners with open arms and there were all kinds of entrepreneurial opportunities. Now, not so much. They no longer need foreigners and are trying to make it as unwelcoming as possible. I suspect Nam will go the same way in 10-20 years.

Average IQ of China: 105
Average IQ of Japan: 105
Average IQ of S. Korea: 106
Average IQ of Vietnam: 94

I think we're fine brah. They'll probably always need foreigners.

(04-02-2019, 07:46 AM)Rick91 Wrote: Have to admit I’m looking forward to thailand during the summer though. I was averaging 3 new chicks a week in hcm since my break up but this last week just got 1. Granted I broke my no fap streak and was exhausted but I also had a few dates that went no where with chicks who were 6s at best. I really don’t have the patience for those types of chicks.

How are you doing 3 per week? Just coffee and pull or do you do 2nd dates at your apartment? Meeting them on Tinder or Cupid or real life?

Always curious on the guys that pull off the 1st date pull. Used to do it with uggos on the 1st date, but now I don't bother since it was low %. Don't do nightlife anymore, so that's pretty much off the table.

That IQ differential is crazy. Weird how the Japs and Koreans cant seen to learn foreign languages though despite the high iq.

Id agree with Vic though. You esl teachers not starting your own school/business are leaving a lot of money on the table. Get a Viet wife to navigate the bureacracy and local marketing, and start a school specializing in business English for corporations. B2b always pays better. Could make 6 figures easily instead of scraping by.
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(04-02-2019, 10:44 PM)Dash Wrote: #262

How did her depression actually manifest into problems between you and her?

Mental things are tricky in a relationship. Issues and disorders can spring up years and years later. (bipolar with my father for example)

There is no way to truly completely safe guard yourself from mental things.

The thread kinda has this in it, but I'll restate in a clearer way:

1) After the "honeymoon" first year or so, travel/life hiccups (even those we couldn't control) would often result in her crying, telling me to go away, and during the end, even insulting me. During the first year or so though, she'd handle them like a champ.

2) Again, closer to the end, and not in the beginning, she'd basically verbally cut herself in front of me, saying she was no good, etc. My attempts to just listen, cheer her up, or reason with her, did nothing to stop her slide.

3) As I said in the thread, closer to the end, she'd also be unusually anxious to meet people, even those she already knew. It'd often manifest in her getting ready, but then holding herself back, until she got over it.

It's true that there's no way to completely safe guard yourself from mental things, but that doesn't mean you should skip or shortcut the one-year minimum vetting period. I'm glad I ended up not short-cutting it, otherwise, most likely, I'd still be dealing with the above, and maybe even bringing kids into it.

And it's also true with mental things, that you do have an obligation to encourage loved ones to seek help (which I tried), but if they continually refuse (which she did), then you also have an obligation to yourself, no matter when in the relationship they occur.
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Guys should also purposely do things that could/can cause the girl stress or issues and see how she reacts to it throughout the 1st year. Obviously, not talking about anything serious such as cheating, abuse etc Often, in the beginning, things can be going so well, neither person had any reason or chance to get significantly annoyed or upset.

But anyways, I agree. 1 year should be the minimal time to be with someone before deciding marriage. Preferably 2 if you can swing it.
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(04-03-2019, 04:45 PM)262 Wrote:
(04-02-2019, 10:44 PM)Dash Wrote: #262

How did her depression actually manifest into problems between you and her?

Mental things are tricky in a relationship. Issues and disorders can spring up years and years later. (bipolar with my father for example)

There is no way to truly completely safe guard yourself from mental things.

The thread kinda has this in it, but I'll restate in a clearer way:

1) After the "honeymoon" first year or so, travel/life hiccups (even those we couldn't control) would often result in her crying, telling me to go away, and during the end, even insulting me. During the first year or so though, she'd handle them like a champ.

2) Again, closer to the end, and not in the beginning, she'd basically verbally cut herself in front of me, saying she was no good, etc. My attempts to just listen, cheer her up, or reason with her, did nothing to stop her slide.

3) As I said in the thread, closer to the end, she'd also be unusually anxious to meet people, even those she already knew. It'd often manifest in her getting ready, but then holding herself back, until she got over it.

It's true that there's no way to completely safe guard yourself from mental things, but that doesn't mean you should skip or shortcut the one-year minimum vetting period. I'm glad I ended up not short-cutting it, otherwise, most likely, I'd still be dealing with the above, and maybe even bringing kids into it.

And it's also true with mental things, that you do have an obligation to encourage loved ones to seek help (which I tried), but if they continually refuse (which she did), then you also have an obligation to yourself, no matter when in the relationship they occur.

This just sounds like normal feminine behavior. I wouldn't bother trying to "fix" it. Well, I don't give a fuck about what women "feel" or "think" anyway, but you get the point. 

Personally, I'd be more alarmed at a chick that does a good job handling her emotions, is actually confident, and isn't depressed. That's the chick that will chop you up and stuff you in the freezer for your life insurance policy. Normal grown women cry when watching Schindler's List or Bambi ffs. They aren't what I would consider emotionally stable.

Punching herself in the face and then calling the cops is the level that female behavior/drama becomes a problem because that actually impacts my life.
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I'd be alarmed if a dude didnt cry watching schindlers list. Or at least struggle to hold back tears.

And i'm not exactly a jewophile.
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Btw Ed, why don't you log on to WA anymore?

Motorbike thief swipe your phone? Tongue
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(04-07-2019, 02:11 PM)Vic Vega Wrote: Btw Ed, why don't you log on to WA anymore?

Motorbike thief swipe your phone? Tongue

Just a regular thief in Da Nang lol. To be fair,it probably fell out of my pocket while strung out on balloons.

Heard you're back in VN...I know how much you love this place.:p
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Havent visited Roosh forum in awhile. Go there today and I am surprised to see Roosh's conversion to God and the idea of "God Pill" and how his ideals have evolved over time. As a believer myself, i found this quite interesting. Seems people often reach a point when they get older of needing some more in life ie religion, family etc. Women, money and material possession can often loses its luster. Roosh is 39 i think but started having a shift a few years ago. I reached that stage much sooner than him ie 28ish.
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Good to see this forum back I imagine this place will pick up.
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Moving to Da Nang next week.

After the best part of a year in Saigon, I've had enough lol. Too many people. Too much traffic. Too much noise. I've realized nature and outdoor activities are vital to my wellbeing and there's none of that here.

Had I not gotten into a relationship here, I would have made the move a lot sooner.

If anybody else is going to be in da nang, hit me up.
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May consider having a trip up there myself
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Met up with SpEd and Rick last night at Lush. Known Rick on the forums for a long time. Cool to finally put a face with the name.

I recently got a puppy. Tried to find someone to live at my apartment full time and care and train for my dog. But that fizzled out after 1 week.

Thinking I need to suck it up and handle it for a few months. On the bright side, now I have girls inviting themselves to my house more often due to the puppy.

On Monday going to get a California Fitness gym membership. Vietnam makes it so easy to get super lazy and coast. I only have 1-2 more years left here so it's time to cut out the bullshit, get structured, have a solid routine and stick to it.
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Glad to see the forum is back.

Give us some reports on Da Nang when you head up there, Ed. Everyone seems to say the pool of pussy there is limited, and the place gets rather boring after a while. Never been there myself, only Saigon and Hanoi so I'm curious, too.

For everyone wondering, you can skip Hanoi. lol
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those who already in hcmn and moving on 
whats relationship life cycle time 


how long were your girl relationship lasted before they ask move in /marriage  for girls under 30
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I actually thought hanoi had better quality than saigon, probably because more chinese ancestry in those parts.

The tinder scene in da nang is probably limited. But plenty of attractive women. If you ask a viet guy, most will say da nang/central vn has the most beautiful women. Again a case of that area not historically being viet lol. The cham people dominated there until a couple hundred years ago.

@techsolutions Lol, girls talk about marriage here before youre actually in a relationship. Dont come to VN if youre looking for a lot of notches. Sure sluts can be found anywhere but viet women are in general the most conservative in asia. Commin theme with guys i meetup with here is how dissapointed they are about that when it should be common knowledge.
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(05-31-2019, 08:38 AM)techsolutions Wrote: those who already in hcmn and moving on 
whats relationship life cycle time 


how long were your girl relationship lasted before they ask move in /marriage  for girls under 30

This is really going to depend on how you set expectations from the get go. My current gf hasn't hinted at marriage yet at all and we've been together for 6-7 months now. I had an ex that wanted to get hitched after only a few months.

Some of the local viet couples don't even get married until several years of dating! 

Girls from the countryside tend to want to get married earlier vs the ones from the big cities. 

If your looking to move things faster towards settling down, simply see her more often. If your looking to slow things down, see her less often and do less couple like things.
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Going to get a gym membership at California Fitness on Monday.

Heard you can get a basic 1 yr membership for about 9-11 million.

My max is 12 million.

Plan is to go 3 times a week minimum.
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