First Colombian Girl: Possibly Clinically Insane

TravelHardcoreBogota, Colombia31 Comments

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First Day Colombia: Bogota

I arrived in Colombia about a month ago in Bogota with my friend Smooth Operator.

It was a Wednesday so the city was pretty dead but we went out anyway. We did manage to find a place with something going on; we had some drinks, talked to some girls.

This one girl was into me, but she was giving a weird/distracted vibe. I figured she didn’t understand me very well or that my Spanish got rusty from spending so much time in Brazil. Anyway, I got her number and met her the day after for a drink.

On the date the weird vibe didn’t get any better. She would sometimes not respond to questions and just keep staring in front of her; then suddenly she would change the subject to something completely unrelated. Very awkward. At moments she would jump up and do a little dance, then sit down again.

Very incoherent.

I was getting sick of it, so I said I had to go home but that she could join me for a bit, not caring either way whether she would or not. At first she said no, but as I get up and put on my jacket, she changed her mind: “Ok, I’ll come. But we’re not gonna have sex.” 

Which is female for “we’re definitely gonna have sex”.

I take her to my place, we’re sitting on the bed making out. As I’m undressing her and myself she suddenly stops.

“Are we boyfriend girlfriend now?”

Euhm… what?

This girl is definitely a basket case.

I didn’t want to waste too much time on her anymore because my friends were waiting for me to go to a restaurant.

So I reply, “Euhm, sure, whatever.”

She pulls out my dick and says: “This is mine alone!” 

Okay…… a little bit creepy; but I proceed.

I bang her and I feel a little bit bad for having to kick her out immediately after. I was supposed to meet Scotian and some RVF-members for dinner.

As I’m walking her out to find her a taxi, the guys from the RVF-meetup had already gathered in front of my hotel and were ready to go. I quickly put the girl in a cab and walk back to meet them.

One of the RVF-guys says “Ahhhhh, you met that girl in Club X? I already banged her as well. Check your stuff, she tried to steal my phone.”

Lol, what. I wasn’t worried about her stealing as I didn’t leave her alone in my room; but damn, what are the odds. We have a laugh about it and head out for the dinner. So far for feeling bad about kicking her out.

But her actual craziness only got confirmed later on that night.

Poco Loco

It gets worse

After the dinner some of the guys go home; 20Nation, Smooth Operator, Atlantic and me decide to hit up some bars.

As we’re looking for a taxi, of course, I happen run into this same girl again.

She immediately gets clingy, invites herself along and insists she joins us. I politely decline and tell her it’s a guys only night. I tell her 3 times she can’t join us and that has to go, but it doesn’t seem to sink in.

The only way to get rid of her was to ostensively get into a taxi.

Still, that wasn’t not enough; she actually tries to force herself into our taxi by sitting on my lap. I again make clear she can’t come and I have to push her out and close the door behind her.

Pretty clear message that she’s not welcome, right?


She runs around the cab and tries to force herself into the cab again, this time by sitting on Smooth Operator’s lap, who’s sitting in the front of the car. He also has to push her out of the car while we’re telling the driver to start driving.

As she’s disappearing from the rearview mirror my phone starts to light up:

“I love you!!”

I remove her from all social media and block her number. Close one.

So that was my first Colombian flag: a promising start! 😉

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About the Author


I’m TravelHardcore, but people simply call me THC, although I don’t smoke. I speak several languages and suffer from insomnia. I left a well paying job, stuck in a miserable office to go out and see the world. I simply live for adventure. Cheers.

  • DerWeltenbummler!

    Can I have her phone number? She seems like marriage material!!! It really amazes me that she wasn’t snapped up by an alpha male already!

    On a more serious note…I hope that you at least enjoyed the hanky panky!

    • She’d make a great mom too 😉

    • Oops, I did it again


  • Jimi

    Fuck i love reading these stories

  • JBPoqueliche

    Ha ha well done THC. I laughed when I imagine the scene of her running after the taxi yelling “I love you”.
    Good ridance. That’s the kind of girl that tries to kill you in your sleep. Never ignore the red flags

    • Thanks JBP! Exactly, this is the kind of girl that gives you a “Bangkok haircut” because you liked a girl’s pic on facebook.

  • Bahlza Dragon

    “She pulls out my dick and says: “This is mine alone!” ”

    It could be worse, you could be saying this to yourself. 😀

    I have a rule: “never fuck anyone crazier than yourself.” I don’t want to wake up in bed in a Godfather-style stare-down with my dick.

    • Lolll. True! I don’t run into this level of wacky girls, but it was a good reminder why not to put your dick in crazy.

  • Bahlza Dragon

    “She pulls out my dick and says: “This is mine alone!” ”

    It could be worse, you could be saying this to yourself. 😀

    I have a rule: “never fuck anyone crazier than yourself.” I don’t want to wake up in bed in a Godfather-style stare-down with my dick.

  • Smooth Operator

    That was so hilarious!!

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  • What a crazy girl !
    Great to see you out of hibernation and blogging again THC.
    Did you go

  • Oops, I did it again

    Bitches bein’ bitches. Dey all craaaaazzzzyy! It’s a global phenomenon not limited to degenerate western cultures.

    Please contribute to my new foundation, Bonker Bitches Without Borders. We need to help those who can’t help themselves. It’s the rule. Jesus said so! We must obey. Pfffft!

  • spencenator

    Stage 5 clinger for sure! Lol I hope she was hot and a good lay at least.

    • There should be a correlation Crazy / Good Sex, but it didn’t hold up in this case. Average lay.

  • Cecil J

    THC and 20,
    Do you guys run other online business besides the blog or have to freelance work online while traveling or do you do it off of savings and just work/save $/go to travel as a cycle?

  • JJ Roberts

    Clinically Insane?




    In a 2.0 world the way of relating (for both men and women) is structured around fear and, depending on people’s personality and gender, that fear renders itself it different ways.

    For her it was about claiming as “mine” for a lot of men it is about constantly obsessing about the “cock carousel” and calling women sluts.

    Fear is like ice cream. It comes in lots of different flavours but when it comes down to it – ice cream is just ice cream.

    • I can just imagine the kind of girls you are “2.0-dating” to not qualify this as crazy.

    • JJ Roberts

      It’s pretty odd behaviour, sure, but it’s one rooted in fear which is the #1 relationship meme that runs throughout the 2.0 world.

      This is just one particular flavour of the ice cream so to speak.

  • Bat

    Que locura! Nice story THC. I was in Colombia 3 years ago and loved it so much I want to go again this summer. I know this site since about half a year and I’ve seen you guys do a lot of pipelining. I thought I’m gonna try this out this time and I’m on CC now. I get a lot of messages and interests, but somehow it’s hard to get a good conversation with most of the girls. They often just write back short answers and I don’t wanna ask to many questions… do you have some tips for me how to get a balanced conversation with the latinas? and how to break out of the “como estas?” and “que haces” cycle?
    PS: I forgot to mention I’m from Europe, so live chatting is really hard due to the time difference :/ maybe that’s a reason too

    • Colombia is a great place; I’ll be coming back here often myself. Good call on doing some pipelining. I don’t like it myself too much, it gets very repetitive and it’s pretty time consuming. If you’re still in Europe preparing your trip, it’s a good way to practice your Spanish.

      Try getting them off the dating website/app asap and into Whatsapp, where you can send voice messages and pics – i.e. make fun of your gringo accent, ask them to send you a voice message back, show them cool things unique from your country, etc.

  • Klaus

    HAHAHAHAH what the fuck, ah man i missed THC, fucking dope posts, I laughed my ass of in this story, like wtf is wrong with bitch

  • Brianmark

    She must not have been very good looking or the sex wasn’t very good or else you wouldn’t have gotten rid of her so quickly. Which one was it? Compared to some Filipinas I’ve met she sounds rather tame.

    • Combination of both Brianmark, she was the type of girl that arches her back the wrong way for doggystyle: immediate dealbreaker.

  • you should of go in Bear lmao nah she loco

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