Why Do Men Cheat in Happy Relationships? My 4 Big Reasons

20NationLifestyle, Women29 Comments

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Why Do Men Cheat in Happy Relationships? My 4 Big Reasons

why do men cheat

I have recently found myself in a relationship with a girl that is everything I have ever wanted. She is young, attractive, innocent(was a virgin), sweet, honest and, most importantly, our personalities mesh flawlessly. Hundreds of girls and this girl stands out above the rest. She is the reason I got into learning game and now I have her. Then why do I have this overwhelming urge to cheat? Why do men cheat? Especially when those men are in the middle of a completely happy relationship.

I love talking to her and don’t have any desire to talk to any other girls. I love kissing her, touching her and just being around her. I love to go and do things with her, But I have this overwhelming desire to sleep with other women. Everywhere I look there are opportunities and every single time I want to jump on it.

I don’t want an emotional connection, I just want dirty, sweaty sex and nothing else. But why can’t I just be content with this amazing relationship that I have now? Here are my 4 reasons to answer the question: Why do men cheat in happy relationships:


why do men cheat

Why do men cheat: Reason #1. Instinct

I don’t care what anybody tells you, men are not programmed to spend their entire lives with one woman. Men get a new, fresh load every 12 hours and our biological programming is not telling us to drop this in the same girl over and over and over and over and over and over again. This programming is telling us to spread our seed, to pass on our genetics with as many girls as possible. It is only current social programming that tells us we must not do that.


The Biological Imperative

The biological imperative basically says that all living things live for 2 reasons: Survive and reproduce. That’s it. A woman can only reproduce once every 9 months, but a man can reproduce more than once a day if he wants. If he follows his biological imperative he will first be thinking about survival and, afterwards, think only about reproducing.


How porn reinforces this

To understand what porn has to do with the question of why do men cheat, think back to the last few times you looked at pornography. Did you only watch one girl? It’s possible (if you are relationship starved to a ridiculous level), but chances are even during your last time beating off, you looked at more than one girl. All guys do this, even the guys that swear that they only want one woman. If they only want one woman, why are they looking at hundreds if not thousands of women online?

I used to be a part of a particular religion (not going to say which), but one thing I learned while part of this religion is that the most common problem that the most high up church leaders had was a… porn addiction. This reinforced my thinking that it is very difficult to go against your biological imperative.

“But 20 there are plenty of guys that stay loyal to one girl all their lives.” Yeah, there are. But most of those guys don’t have the opportunity to cheat with an attractive woman and still end up turning to porn.

Most guys have to work their asses off to get laid these days, if that weren’t the case, people would be cheating just as often as they are looking at porn. If a new busty blonde fell onto your bed every time you pushed a button (like turning on your computer), no guys would be able to stay loyal. This brings me to my next reason guys cheat: opportunity.


Why do men cheat: Reason #2. Opportunity

I think the second biggest reason that men cheat in happy relationships is opportunity. If a guy has only been able to bang one girl in his entire life, chances are good he’s not going to have many more of those opportunities and… isn’t going to cheat. However, if a guy has worked hard on himself and his game with women and feels comfortable seducing them, opportunities will show up everywhere. He will have to look into the big blue eyes of that tall blonde Russian girl from work and completely deny his biological programming, because he knows he could get a legit shot with her.

Opportunity is also important in terms of knowing that he can be with the girl and get away with it. He may absolutely love the girl and never risk messing it up with the girl until he sees an opportunity where she would never find out. These kind of opportunities can happen while on business trips or while traveling. There is no risk of running into these women ever again.

Another kind of opportunity is one that just happens and your instincts take over. When Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on his wife with the maid, he wasn’t getting the prettiest woman he could get, he was getting the convenient woman. The same thing happened to Bill Clinton when he cheated on his wife. It was the secretary that was in a convenient location and their deeply written manly instincts just take over. These are not smart ways to cheat, but they aren’t thinking with the right head in those moments.


Why do men cheat: Reason #3. Habit

I for one have created a habit of getting a lot of new girls every month, when I stop getting these new incoming girls, I start to feel incomplete. This is something that can be broken, as it is simply a habit and lifestyle choice. However, breaking this habit is not an easy thing to do. When you have to break a habit that is connected to the amazing and exciting feeling you get every time you hook up with a new girl, you better hope the girl you are doing it for is worth it. A man has to really believe she is worth it, or breaking such a habit will be even more difficult.


Why do men cheat: Reason #4. Boredom/Something New

When you are with the same girl over and over again, eventually, things WILL start to get boring and you will want something new. The same thing will happen to her, it’s not either of your guys’ fault, it’s just the way human psychology and sexual psychology work. We crave new experiences and things that are new and exciting.

The exception would be people that don’t like to break out of their comfort zones and like the same thing over and over again. Although I do think that it is because they let fear lead their lives and not because it’s what they really want.


Men aren’t the only ones with urges to cheat

We have answered the question: why do men cheat? But that brings up another question: Why do women cheat? Men aren’t the only guilty parties. Women have urges to cheat. They have urges to sleep with a higher value man than their partner, they get bored after years of being with the same person as well. I know all too well that guys aren’t the only ones cheating from keeping a key logger on my laptop for the past 6 years. You can read about that here. In the dating game, nobody leaves with their hands completely clean. The problem is… it seems like my current girl has been completely honest with me. This makes me want to be loyal to her.


Why do men cheat? My temptations

I’m currently with an amazing girl and the temptations all around me are very strong. I’m not really sure what to do from here, but I do know I am going against the way I have been programmed as a man. I have no urge to have an emotional connection with any other girl on the planet, my girl is fulfilling that completely, but the urge to have sex with a new woman is remarkably strong. And the opportunities… here in Poland… they are plenty. But I do care about this girl so… we will see what happens.



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  • Zelcorpion

    Is she Ukrainian or Polish?

    You could also go my route and get your girlfriend to accept threesomes and the occasional extra-curricular experience while demanding monogamy from her. If she is Red Pill enough, she might accept it. Mine did – though threesomes are her preferred ways.

    • 20Nation

      She’s Polish. I took her virginity, she had never even seen a penis before me. I have had girls that would accept that, but this religious girl wouldn’t. It’s one of the things I like about her though.

    • Zelcorpion

      In that case you gotta make up your mind, whether you are ready to settle down right now. If not – then at least it will be a good experience as long as it lasts.
      Those girls are more rare, but once a while you meet one of them. There are of course more of them in Poland or the FSU. Depending also on religious beliefs you could even target them at religious retreats. I have met super-hot religious Polish chicks. They were quite happy being together with their one boyfriend, whom they intended to marry soon.

    • 20Nation

      yeah i agree with everything you said. Poland is a great country for finding virgins at 19 (the age they hit college they all vanish 19 or 20).
      I’m thinking i will just ride it out and see what happens. It’s hard to settle down, but she’s a unique girl. It’s good advice

    • anon1

      probs for the best, in terms of riding it out and seeing what happens. big commitments are, well big. and as great as this gal sounds (genuinely, i’d love to meet someone like that that has the traditionalism nature on lockdown) forever is a long time. see where it goes.

      i will say a couple of things though. a good woman, tends to end up sapping motivation to do other pursuits, and thats why having some away time from them helps in terms of other goals you wanna pursue.

      i think victor from bold and determined talked about it, sexual transmutation. http://boldanddetermined.com/2011/10/24/how-to-harness-your-sexual-energy/

      but this sort of thing has been recorded time and time again in history, once classic example being the epic of gilgamesh.

    • 20Nation

      that’s a pretty sweet article, kind of got me motivated. Thanks anon

    • 404 UITB

      As you recall your time in Poland- what major cities did you go to? Of those which were decent and which was worse?

    • 20Nation

      an awesome city is wroclaw

  • Bad boy…..

    • 20Nation

      We’re all built to be bad boys

  • Johnny

    You ever pull strippers like McQueen and G Manifesto?

    They are freaks and would bring other girls (so say guys I know who have dated and pulled them).

    All women cheat-like they say in the rap game-these ho’s aint loyal and M.O.B.

    • 20Nation

      I have pulled some strippers. Just different types of girls, I couldn’t exclusively date a stripper, not my style. I grew up religious. Except this girl hasn’t even lied to me once. I key logged her so i know for sure. I have key logged maybe 30 girls in my life and none have ever been so honest.

  • Johnny

    How many approaches do you do on an avg day in EE with each kind of game (day/night/and online)?

    • 20Nation

      in Poland before I met my girl, I was doing like a daygame approach once every two days and most nights out I would get like 3 numbers. Going out like once a week. But like 1/2 of my approaches ended up with dates, so it kept me busy

  • FranklySlavic

    You can alwasy be honest with her about human biology. I am honest with my wife in that when I start getting the urge to look elsewhere we’ll have o negotiate which of the willing hotties we both know i am taking home, as Im pretty sure she’ll help me make a more rational decision less likely to end in drama, stds or pregnncy from whatever girl I bed. Ths far no urges (crazy nympho sociopaths tend not to get boring, apprantly), but when they come she knows her role.

    • 20Nation

      yeah, she’s just so traditional, that it’s difficult.

    • FranklySlavic

      You should try talking to BlackDragon abut it. He’s got decades of experience with running several girls at the same time, all consensually. Most women want to lock you down, so they’re happy to not be your only girl as long as they can e your #1 girl. Explain to her how you see your relationship lasting years, maybe even decades, but men need variety and the best way to keep a relationship strong is to let the man give in to urges. Get her involved in vetting the other girls so there’s no reason for her to feel afraid o you leavin. Make sure you only see the other girls from time to time or once, never buy them anything and don’t let them stay at your place. Discuss other possible thins that would make her more comfortable.

    • 20Nation

      that’s what i have done in harems a lot, but when a girl has been grilled with traditional values all her life, it complicates things. There is the “pride” versus what she wants battle going on.

    • FranklySlavic

      The only thing you can do is be patient, then. Eventually the shell will crack and you’l be able to persuade her, but she will need to be more dependent on you and bonded to you foor it to work.

      On the flip side, you may actually find your desire for new girls calms down, so the cmpromise may only need to be around once in a fortnight rather than a few times a week.

  • Claudia

    20 Nation I understand the reasons about cheating you mentioned….I agree with correlation of porn with an other woman. Men can’t think logically in some cases an cheat with women who are totally untrustworthy and prefer to ruin his current relationship (in purpose). They have sex for example their colleague(that their wife,girl knows) rather than a random girl…that is really sad. So there are porn addicts who feel timid and find a real woman and feel comfortable with porn stars.

    • 20Nation

      you speak the truth Claudia. I think sometimes guys sabatoge their own relationships like you said. But it’s because it’s tough to accept being with just one girl, not necessarily because they don’t like the girl

  • It’s those dam Temptations.
    ♫ Will I cheat or will I be committed, heaven knows
    Gettin weak and I wanna hit it, so here I go….♪

    ♪ A lotta people think it’s easy, to settle down
    Got a woman that’ll please me, in every town
    I don’t wanna but I gotta do it, the temptation
    Got me ready to release the fluid♫ Temptations- 2Pac

    • 20Nation

      Word. Tupac knew what was up

  • Nikola Cvrtnjak

    20, enjoy while it lasts. No matter she’s a nice girl it will die out sooner or later. It’s just a matter of time who will get bored 1st. Telling from experience :), but u probably alrdy know that. Anyway, great read as always. Cheers.

    • 20Nation

      yeah unfortunately it’s human nature. It’s a very unique personality match though. I have talked to her for hours every day for 4 months. Never have i been able to do that before. Not even close

  • JJ Roberts

    Because they don’t know have to skilfully and honestly have multiple relationships at the the same time.

  • JC Dollar

    Have you hit up Kiev or Tallinn?

    • 20Nation

      Kiev i have

  • Jody Dayton Peace

    So, we know why men cheat in relationships. But the question to ask is: is it in your interest to cheat in your current relationship? It’s a good idea to investigate the reasons why men and women both traditionally want closed relationships. They are very good reasons, and society needs them. My honest advice is to go the traditional way if she is ‘the one’, and if it is really hard for you (since you are of the age where your biological urge is still very strong) then get something that is risk free once in a while and NEVER tell her. People talk about getting women to accept other types of relationships, but they can only pull it off for a while, and those relationships always end up of a lower quality because once you damage a woman’s trust, or she damages yours, then the intensity will never be the same again.