How to Go Native in Any Country With BB’s Top 3 Cultural Infiltration Tactics

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This is a guest post by Beyond Borders

How to Go Native in Any Country With BB’s Top 3 Cultural Infiltration Tactics

Fisto is going to punch me.

The man asks me to pen an article on smashing through pussy in Cambodia, probably the least talked-about location when it comes to getting your freak on in Southeast Asia (unfairly, I might add), and what do I do? I write an article about how to get invited to parties by drunk old Asian guys.

Okay, there’s more to this than that. And we’ll get around to Khmer poontang on a future rant.

But cultural infiltration is probably my favorite topic when it comes to international living and world travel, and in fact, it’s probably my main reason for traveling.

I seriously thrive on this shit and am often more interested in breaking into the local scene then I am in getting laid.

Call me crazy, but it’s also…

 

A Highly-Valuable Skill for Any Footloose Player to Have

Let’s face it – most guys who spend considerable time abroad quickly figure out that foreigners tend to run through the same girls. Do much posting over at the Rooshvforum and it probably won’t be long before you discover a couple other forum members are your Eskimo brothers (a good time to get tested).

And the world ain’t that fucking small.

Knowing locals puts you in a whole other category. Some acceptance can provide access to women that have a lot more value in the culture you’re spending time in. And hey, maybe you could care less about that type of thing. That’s cool.

But we’re men. And men like desired pussy more than worn-out, used-up, leftover pussy.

You’ll also find the girls who don’t typically date foreigners are better-looking, more stylish, more resourceful, more established, more drama-free, and have more societal access to mooch.

It’s not for everybody, but learning to navigate the terrain opens both doors and legs abroad.

 

In My Years of Going Native in Various Locations, I Have…

  • Banged a number of women who have never been with other white boys.
  • Partied with a member of a royal family and his bodyguard.
  • Befriended a government official in Laos, who proceeded to invite me to the SEA Games and bought me a ticket.
  • Drank with a table of immigration officers while my visa was two-years overdue.
  • Received multiple offers of business partnerships, some legal and some not, and jobs.
  • Had pussy all but tossed in my lap by cool, wealthy local guys.
  • More free dinners and all-night free drinking then I can possibly remember.
  • Received invitations to weddings, parties, and out-of-town trips.
  • I’ve crashed weddings, birthdays, and corporate get-togethers I wasn’t invited to.
  • Offered free places to stay multiple times and invited to people’s homes for drinks and dinner.
  • Invited to fun shit like golfing, training martial arts, and net-fishing. At local venues rather than the high-priced tourist ones.
  • Established connections I could call on should I have problems with the po-po or local mafia.

 

These are just off the top of my head. This doesn’t even scratch the surface of all the crazy adventures and great friendships produced by the effort I put into going deeper.

The wealth of experience is difficult to put into words.

 

So what is the Big Secret to Getting Accepted?

Maybe this seems like a dumb article topic to you. After all, meeting locals should be just as easy as showing up.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

We’ve all seen others do it and observed the behavior in ourselves. Most people who head abroad end up hanging out with a) other people just like them or b) locals who have made a “career,” or at least a lifestyle, out of befriending foreigners.

Here are some simple but highly effective tactics I use for accessing a completely different kind of experience in my travels. These tactics have never let me down yet.

(Note: I refer to Asia a lot because that’s where I cash my checks, but these principles apply everywhere.)

 

Cultural Infiltration Tip #1: The Magical Art of Walking

walking

I know.

Doesn’t sound very magical, does it?

My guess is you’ve been doing it since you were shitting your diapers.

But I’m a huge fan of walks. I try to take one every morning as soon as I wake up and every night about an hour before bed. It helps keep me in shape and gives me time to work out my thoughts.

And it’s also an extremely effective tool for getting to know a new location. I often go for hours; I keep my camera in my pocket so I can snap unique photos of the new world unfolding around me. I slow down, smell the air, and take in the noise.

Where does that fit into this conversation?

Finding the hopping nightclubs that you don’t see in Lonely Planet or on WikiTravel.

Point yourself in any direction away from little America, and just start hoofing. You’re bound to find something of interest, and even if you don’t feel like popping in then and there, you can make a mental note to come back later.

If you’re located anywhere in Asia, you never have to go far to find discos or beer gardens. There are seriously so many places to go out for the night; I honestly can’t figure out how these people get anything done.

That said, morning walks won’t teach you much about the nightlife, which is your backdoor to going native in any country. So if you want to use this simple pastime to discover great off-the-map venues, you’ll need to go after dark.

Sound dangerous to walk off into the night in a foreign country?

Grow a pair.

Seriously, Man. I do this shit in Cambodia, a 4th world country.

Of course I’m a half-big guy and carry myself in a way that suggests to people I’m not to be tampered with. And even then I’ve had a few unsettling moments. So do so at your own risk – don’t bother emailing me if you get butt-raped or someone steals your tennis shoes.

Another option, though likely more dangerous than walking across Asian cities in the dead of night, is to rent a motorbike and do your exploring that way. I love motorbikes for familiarizing myself with a new location – nothing beats it.

Not only can it be sketchy to go out drinking on a motorcycle, though, no matter how small it is, it’s also easier to pass bars up that don’t look busy. If you’re walking, you know it takes more time to find another spot, so you’re more likely to roll the dice with a place that doesn’t look like your glass of brewskie or seems too quiet.

Trying out places that don’t look appealing is a great way to put yourself out there and experience something new. The staff and customers will likely have recommendations for your next stop too (I often end up heading somewhere with them), and one thing I’ve learned as I get older is that every venue looks different from the outside looking in then it does sitting in the middle of it all.

Entering a new place is far more important than finding an awesome, hopping one because of the cultural collateral you gain every time you sit down.

So, go ahead – have a seat.

 

Cultural Infiltration Tip #2: Just Sit On Your Fat Ass

sit-down-ass

How do you get to know people once you do find a place without any Western faces?

Well, my suggestion might seem like an odd one. And for a lot of people who try it, it’s going to cause some real social discomfort. Nobody said pushing through borders would be easy.

I just want you to go inside…

And sit there.

Yes, just sit there. Order a drink, kick back, and take in the tunes.

For hours if you must.

Let this be a warning to you: it’ll be extremely challenging.

Halfway through your first drink, and definitely your second, you’ll want to get up and leave. If it’s still somewhat early, people will pretend they don’t even see you.

They’re bluffing – if you’re the only foreigner, everybody sees you. In Asia, especially, the locals are extremely shy when sober. I think that’s why they party so much; they need that social lubricant to interact. Your mileage may vary in other locations.

Just keep sitting. Trust me on this. Let people get loosened up.

Often, right as you start to go crazy, thinking there’s no way you can endure the spotlight by yourself any longer and preparing to stab yourself in the eye with a fork just to shake things up, this is the moment when someone from another table will finally muster the courage to make a move. They might just approach you to say hi, but more likely they’ll invite you to join them at their table.

In fact, their friends have probably been egging them on to do it for a while already.

Look, I’ve done this so many times. It will happen.

Even if it doesn’t, do it anyways. Then return to the same place and do it again. Eventually, the staff will warm up to you. They’ll start asking you about your life. They’ll introduce you to other customers. They’ll invite you to come party with them.

I’m speaking from an action-packed history of experience here.

If you’re already a travel vet, you might be scoffing at me right now. Going to local bars and clubs alone sucks, right? It’s a lot more fun when you team up with a couple other travelers and pound pussy all across the map.

I admit you’ll probably run through more tail that way, but did you really cross the globe so you could bang used-up women that get passed around expat circles while clinging to your buddy’s hand?

Get yourself out there.

 

A few small tips for accelerating the pace towards that ice-breaker moment:

  • Get drunk. Let’s face it, drinking is a priceless habit for cultural infiltration. I’ve sat at tables full of people who didn’t speak a word of English and went on like that all night for the simple reason that I was boozed up – I never could have done that sober.

I enjoy observing a new culture up close and personal. Flirting with girls I can barely communicate with. But I can hardly fathom entering those situations without a drink in hand.

You’ll also notice that other drunk people can perceive when you’re tipsy too. They read it on you and are more likely to approach. It’s an international language.

  • Butter up the help. Employees are your assets in situations like this, and it’s their job to like you, so leverage them to your benefit. This also helps pass the boring stage because it gives you someone to banter with.

Once the employees are on your team, they’ll help you meet other people and egg you on when you scam on chicks. In fact, I often get my answers on dating norms by running them past the help in bars and restaurants.

  • Start cheering people. Any time someone from another table looks at you, lift your glass, smile, and take a sip. Learn how to say “cheers” in their language and use it. Lean over and tap glasses if you’re close enough.

It’ll amaze you how even the stoniest faces immediately transform to the gesture. Do this repeatedly to the same person and you’re in. I’m like a cheesy politician in this bitch.

  • Carry a small notebook. I find this makes it much easier to sit through the awkward spell. I just sit there and think, pulling it out every once in a while to jot notes for articles and business ideas. It even becomes a prop for conversations (cue Roosh).

In fact, I wrote part of this article standing in a disco club in Cambodia with elbows on all sides and a chubby Chipmunk-looking girl trying to get my attention from the other side of the bar. I just laughed at her and kept writing – the bartender got a kick out of me. And eventually she got up and came over.

 

Cultural Infiltration Tip #3: Don’t Be a Punk Ass Snob

punk ass

I do it too.

You go out looking for a good time and you don’t want to get caught up with some lame-ass dudes or fugly bitches. You look for interesting people who’ll satisfy your goals – that’s hot chicks and well-off young guys with obvious game.

“Everyone here is too old…”

“That chick who keeps trying to ask me where I’m from is too fat…”

“Those skinny college kids look like they haven’t seen a pussy since they tumbled out from between mommy’s legs…”

“The guy with the outdated business suit is standing all by himself and has no friends (sound familiar?)…”

 

I caution you to avoid this mistake.

The most elite, high-value circles are almost always more closed at first. Everybody in their own society is constantly kissing their asses. Sometimes they’ll be just as eager as everyone else to talk with you (one of the perks of being different), but it helps if you’ve already displayed some social intelligence by getting to know others in the room.

And here’s the thing.

Especially in Asia, looks can be extremely deceiving in terms of true social worth and the ability to have a good time. I’ve met a lot of scrawny, coindexter-looking Asians who spent the whole night grabbing handfuls of ass while drinking me under the table.

Going further, since these cultures are so intricately networked, even the most trivial-seeming person will often have a ton of connections from all walks of life. Through them, you’ll meet others you have more in common with. This honestly cannot be stressed enough.

Note that it’s almost always going to be men or mixed parties that break the ice with you (though not always). It will often be the older men. That’s just the way the world works, especially in more conservative cultures.

But don’t underestimate these guys – they’re the lifeblood of the country. And many of them, especially the older guys, have a lot of value.

If you’re out of the Western world, you very well might find men on the verge of wrinkled old balls are still high up on the totem pole, as far as dating goes, and are juggling quite a few honeys around town.

Wolves in sheep’s clothing. They have untold gems of wisdom to give you about gaming local broads and life in general.

Caveat: It still pays to avoid people who are obviously trouble or seem sheisty. I don’t always take my own advice on this, but there it is.

 

Set Your Priorities for Travel; Set Your Priorities for Life

freedom_travel

Get clear about exactly what you want from your time abroad.

Maybe you just want to plant your feet down in various downtown areas across the planet and nail as many asses to your swiftly-changing headboards as humanly possible.

Hey, I can dig it. Chicken’s chicken, Bro.

But for me, world travel is so much more than an international fuckfest. It’s an opportunity to get new glimpses of the human experience. Not just observing it in passing but sitting right down at the table with it and taking its hand firmly into yours.

Through this process you not only learn about another society but gain a deeper, richer perspective on reality itself.

And on yourself. You start to realize nothing you think you know is a given. That “nothing at all” truly is about all a man can ever be certain of.

These are the types of realizations that set you free.

And with an endless supply of new and unique experiences waiting, tucked away in thousands upon thousands of Earth’s little corners, life will never be mundane. As people you know back home stagnate and coast their way towards death, the years becoming so routine they just flip by unnoticed, you’ll feast on an endless buffet of adventure and self-evolution.

And I’m guessing you’ll also do your fair share of swooping along the way…

 

guest-author-iconGuest post by Beyond Borders

A dedicated lone wolf constantly tiptoeing the brink of life’s sharpest edges, Beyond Borders writes about breaking free from society’s constraints and seeking adventure, whether home or abroad. In answer to popular demand, he’s currently scratching together content for his new blog at http://NotesFromBeyond.com. Break free. Evolve. Take pursuit of life.

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  • Josh Bar

    Cool post. If your just there for the weekend I can see how some people just go to the tourists spots but if you have the time using your advice someone can really enjoy, experience the culture and make friends.

    • Yeah, sometimes it is easier just to take what you can get if you’re only in town for a weekend. I can understand that.

      I usually tell people I recommend giving any decent-sized location a month minimum, as it’s really hard to get a real sense of a place in any less time. I appreciate that type of travel isn’t possible for everyone though. Location-independent income is really the way to go!

      If short trips are all I can do I try to put a tad more effort into buddying up with an employee who speaks good English at whatever restaurants I go to, even if it’s a tourist spot. Figure out who the partier is and make it clear you’re looking for local spots with no foreigners.

      The hardest part is often just getting that point across because some people find it so hard to believe a foreigner wants to go to non-foreigner venues.

  • De La Flor

    I love to travel to Non-Tourists spot because the Tourist spot are manmade and you never get to experience the Real culture of the country. I like the post and have written the tips down so I can apply it next time I travel. I am new to Charlotte, NC and I am going to try some of the tips here even tho it’s not a foreign country I believe some of these tips would work. I post my results.

    • Beyond Borders

      Right on. This style of getting yourself out there will definitely apply in the States – I do stuff like this in my wanderings there too.

      The big difference, however, is you don’t have that exotic foreigner thing going, so people are a lot less apt to approach you and introduce themselves or invite you to join them. Well, unless you happen to be sporting a decent pair of breasts, that is…

      It just means you’ll have to put in a bit more effort on your own part to bridge the gap. Work the employees a little harder in this case. Open people up for conversations (again, even if they aren’t the most interesting person in the room). You’ll often find in the U.S. that other people are eager to talk too, even if they act like they’re not, because we go out alone more often than people in other cultures.

      One time I was at a small cafe near a lake in Northern California drinking at 10 in the morning and met a marketing manager for some Fortunate 500. He was on a reunion date with his old high school girlfriend from 25 years ago. They ended up coming and joining us at the campground for beers and boating and we had a blast. His ex was a cougar and hitting on me and all my buddies – dude just laughed.

      I love random stuff like that.

      For infiltrating locals spots in America, it also helps to keep going back to the same place and talking to everyone you can. After a while, you’re walking through the place and it looks like everyone knows you, and this gets other people wondering who you are.

      The plus side of doing this in the US is it’s more acceptable to walk across the room and start a conversation with a good-looking girl. She’s less likely to clam up and get nervous about what everyone else in the room thinks of her. And you don’t have to deal with the foreigner stigma that exists in these Southeast Asia locations.

  • Max

    This blog has potential. You should think perhaps about setting a stage for a travel / adventure / women / forum. Folks who put the stories, comments here have some merit imo.

  • bacon

    Great article. I want to confirm much of what was written in this piece.

    Ive sat alone at tables just drinking minding my own business and women, men, groups of people have come up asking me to join their table. It happens quite easily if you can just wait it out. Also making friends with the staff is a great resource for helping connect you to other people in the venue.

    The tip about walking is something I can not endorse strongly enough especially at night. Its just an amazing way to explore an environment and really experience a place from the perspective of a local by getting out of the tourist comfort zone. It is sad how few travellers take advantage of this but it can really open yourself to truly seeing a new location if you are wiling to walk in random directions for hours with no particular destination in mind.

    • Beyond Borders

      Sounds like we’d get along great! I’ve tried dragging other people along on these little adventures and they just don’t have the patience…

    • bacon

      BB I would enjoy a meetup. I recently moved to a spot not far from your neck of the woods (bkk thailand) so next time you pass through here PM me.

    • Will do Man. I’d say it’ll be in about a month or two but I’ve been telling Rio that for 6 months now. haha I’ll hit you up when I’ve got a ticket in hand though.

  • teeencho

    great article, lot of great points!

  • Great stuff brother. Going drinking alone in a foreign environment is awesome.

  • “Furious” George Rockwell

    Just be happy that every other billboard in Asia has a White face on it. The media, politicians, banks, etc. have already paved much of the way for you.

    • You have made your point of view clear and I’ve already sent you a warning about it. Your negativity is no longer welcome here George.

    • Not sure about your prior comments and I don’t want to feed a troll if that’s what’s going on, but I’ve met plenty of black dudes in Southeast Asia who can’t get enough of the place. They don’t have it as easy as the white guys here but the ones I met still liked it way more than back home.

  • Adam

    Great article. Quick story – I recently completed a business trip in London and did the stool pigeon act at the local pub around the corner. The guy next to me starts chatting me up after we match pint for pint for a while… and its the Sergeant of Arms of the New Zealand Army. This guy is hysterical and had piles of free drink tickets. He had a bunch of soldiers with him, all in plain clothes, and spent the evening ordering them to pick up various women, including some larger ladies. Hilarity ensued. It worked well for me as the ladies could tell they were paying him deference, and me, by association with the Sgt., must have been important. Social proof in effect. I took a hard 7 back to my hotel room, which for London is a miracle. The only thing I payed for the whole evening was 3 pints of Guinness and a shot for my new friend.

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  • Asado Independiente

    You didnt mention the most important point, learning the language !