Things to Talk About On a Date – Make Sure You Get the Girl

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Things to Talk About On a Date – Make Sure You Get the Girl

things to talk about

I think I’ve been on over a thousand dates in my life. It’s probably more dates than any one man should ever go on, but it has given me a very deep understanding of the difference between a bad date and an amazing date. It doesn’t have much to do with what to do, but it has to do with what things to talk about. Most guys don’t get this, that’s why I’ve decided to write this guide on the things to talk about on a date.


Things to Talk About on a Date: The First 7 Seconds

Your first impression is the most important moments of your entire date so make sure to nail it. The first impression consists of the first seven seconds of the interaction. If you nail the first impression, you will be doing the entire date from a position of power, which is exactly what you want. So, before getting into the things to talk about on a date, you should know how to have the best possible first 7 seconds.


Focus on eye contact an an attractive smile

It’s important that while in the first seven seconds of the date, you focus on having strong eye contact and an attractive, well practiced, smile. The reason the eye contact is so important is because it helps to set the tone of the entire date. You are the man and maintaining eye contact is a dominant and powerful gesture.

Then, make sure to smile and do it the right way. You want your smile to be friendly and confident, even slightly cocky. This is something I hope you have practiced in front of the mirror; if not, start now. You can read a past article about smiling the right way here.

If you want to know more about body language you can check out my book The 9 Laws of Attractive Body Language.


Make physical contact

The next thing you should make sure you do in the first seconds of a date is to make physical contact. Physical contact is powerful and it is crucial to attraction. You can make physical contact with a handshake, a hug or (what I usually use) a kiss on the cheek.


Situational Joke

The other thing I like to do in the first seven seconds is to make sure to make a situational joke. I usually think of this joke on the way to the date and it’s usually something like “I was worried I would have trouble finding you, but you’re about a foot taller than the other girls here.” said with a cocky smile to a tall girl.

The joke doesn’t have to be good, you just have to show you are a fun guy who likes to laugh. This sets the tone for the rest of the date. I have found that when I don’t make a joke right away, the chances of a boring date happening go up drastically.


things to talk about on a date

Things to Talk About On a Date: DHV’s or Demonstrations of Higher Value

Demonstrations of higher value are probably the MOST important thing to know before going on a date. Basically, women subconsciously are looking to have sex with the highest possible man they can find. So, as a man, it is your job to make sure you show her as many things as possible which show you are an attractive, high value man.

These are the best things to spend the majority of time talking about on a date, but you have to make sure you talk about them in the right way.

How to Drop DHV’s the right way

Ideally a DHV is shown by somebody other than yourself or by an action. Ie. she sees you help stop a robbery or a friend mentions something amazing you did. But, unfortunately on most dates this isn’t going to happen, so you want drop DHV’s the right way. The best way to do this is in a story. She’s on the to find out if you are the guy of her dream’s so make sure she finds out you are.


DHV Stories

While telling a story you want to make the point of the story something else other than what you are trying to brag about. For example, maybe you want to brag about how adventurous you are, instead of the point of the story being how adventurous you are, you want to make it some funny thing that happened while you were being adventurous.

Now that you understand how to tell the stories you will want to know what type of DHV stories to tell. DHV examples, or things that make you more attractive to women, are: money, famous friends, height (in online dating), dangerous, fearless, successful with women, adventurous, intelligent, ambitious and many, many more. If you want to find out all the DHV’s and understand them better check out my book Understanding Sexual Attraction: What Makes a Woman Want You.

You now understand what types of attributes in men women find attractive. From here you will want to think back to stories or things that happened in your life and find the stories that show these things. These stories should be some of the highlights of the things to talk about on your date; it’s what she will most remember. You want these stories to show you in the best possible light.

When you start to think of good ones, WRITE THEM DOWN. I will give you some of what I write down for DHV stories:

DHV stories – Drug lords daughter (danger, pre-selection, adventure, fearlessness), girls I met who had been kidnapped (danger, adventure), insanely successful genius uncle (success, intelligence, money), basketball and american football player story (manly), so hungry but giving my food to street kids (selfless, adventurous, well traveled)


DHV Statements

The next part of DHVs to drop is much more simple; statements. When making a DHV statement you are simply saying a positive thing about yourself. The trick is that you want to say these things when the situation calls for it. If you bring it up out of nowhere she will see it as you trying to make yourself look good , but if she asks you something close to it than you can just say it.

Here’s some of what I have written down for DHV Statements:

DHV statements – Written 6 books, traveled all over the world, speak various languages, i’m successful, but i will become very successful (ambitious)

These DHV statements can all be said to the typical questions of “What do you do?” and “What do you do for fun”.


Asking questions that let you respond with a DHV

The next part has to do with the previous section, but you ask her a question specifically so that she will ask you the same question back and you can answer with a DHV.

Here are some of the things I have written down as DHV questions:

Questions that let you respond with a dhv – How tall are you? (works online and she will ask you back how tall you are), what are your dreams? (talk about already achieving a lot of mine)


things to talk about on a date

Things to Talk About On a Date: What will it be like in a relationship with you?

One of the most important things to talk about on a date is something that will let her know that being in a relationship with you will be badass. Most girls don’t want to have a relationship that only consists of Netflix and chill. Make sure to mention stories with your ex and all the fun things you did to together.

For this topic I usually tell a story about taking my ex to Paris.


Things to Talk About On a Date: Find Out what She Wants

Something you should be figuring out while the date is going on is what type of girl she is and what she wants. This is important because it will help you know what types of things the conversation should be about for her to be completely seduced.

Here are some of the more common types of things girls are looking for and what you can do with this information:

  • Girls who want a successful man (talk about success and prestigious work)
  • Gold diggers who only care about money  (mention how you lavished your exes with gifts after she was your girlfriend)
  • Girls who are looking for a husband and a father (mention how you love kids and that it’s important to you to one day have a stable family)
  • Girls who are just looking for a good time (don’t take anything seriously with these girls, be sarcastic, tease and be fun)
  • Slutty girls who just want sex (you can physically escalate much faster and start making jokes and talking about sexual things)
  • Girls who dream of an adventure (talk about travelling and mention that you want to travel much more)

One thing about these tips on things to talk about is that I wouldn’t lie about any of these if you ever want something serious with the girl.


Qualifying Statements

This next one is one of the quicker things to talk about, but still very effective. What you do is tell her something which will make her qualify herself to you. It puts her in the position of chasing you and that’s exactly where you want her.

For example, “I really like girls who can you cook?” is a really good question because she will either explain why she can’t or try to impress you with how she can. Another one is “I don’t think I could ever date a girl who doesn’t like to travel.”


Ideas to Escalate Kino

This may not be exactly what you talk about on a date, but it’s part of it. Kino is touch and touch is one of your most powerful tools on a date. So, I like to have a few things to say which will get kino going.

Here are some of the ones I have written down:

Ideas to escalate kino – talking about dancing then dance with her for a few moments, checking out hand size or nails and touching them, (I have one that is golden, but this I won’t share with tons of people ;))


Things to Talk About On A Date: Being fun

This next section is very important. One of the most common things women say they want in guys is a sense of humor and they aren’t joking. Make sure to show your sense of humor throughout the date.



“Teasing should be like breathing.” this is a quote from Heartiste and it really shows how important teasing is. You should NEVER have a date where you didn’t tease the girl at least two times. You also want to make sure you aren’t only teasing because that will be just as bad as not teasing her at all.

When teasing a girl you can laugh at anything about her and say how cute it is. When I am teasing I also like to compliment before or after the tease to soften the blow. You can also tease non-verbally just as easily (stealing her hat, etc.).


Rehearsed jokes

Every man should have some rehearsed jokes in his arsenal. These work great and help keep the atmosphere fun. For example, one of my rehearsed jokes was about how I played soccer once and I was THE best player… (pause for effect) on the worst team in the league. Then, I laugh and say how I’m not sure if I was any good or it was just that everybody around me was so bad. Funny stories like that are great to have.


Things to Talk About On a Date: Cocky Funny

This is a style thing for me, but I absolutely love making cocky funny statements. An example of a cocky funny statement is something like “No, we can’t go to that line, this is the line for really good looking people.” when you are out doing some shopping.

The basis of a cocky funny statement is to basically brag about yourself, but do it in a funny way. The fact it’s funny makes the bragging come off a lot better. If I had a dollar for every time a girl called me cocky I would have… a lot of dollars.

One memory I have of the power of being cocky comes from high school. Basically there was this one guy who basically nobody liked. Nobody liked him because he was so ridiculously arrogant and cocky. He had no real friends, but here’s the other thing, he was absolutely irresistible to women. All the most attractive girls in school would throw themselves at him. Don’t underestimate a little arrogance.

If you want more examples of exact things I say on dates, check out my book The Perfect Conversation.


You have now created a positive image of yourself

You could be the funniest guy in the world, but if you never make a joke, it won’t matter. You could be the most interesting guy in the world, but you have to let her know it. You could be the richest guy in the world, but if you don’t show it in some way, might as well not have that money because it won’t help you.

Before you go on your next date you should really think about the date from the girls point of view. Imagine the things to talk about on a date that will show her all your positive qualities, then think about how she would see you if you didn’t mention those things. You will realize that there are certain positive things about yourself that if you never say, might as well not exist. These could very easily be the things that make sure you get the girl.


What you should do right now

You’ve just read this article on things to talk about on a date. I didn’t give you a magic potion, what I did give you is the exact scientific formula for getting any girl you go on a date with.

The next thing you should do is go back over the article and write down all the things you can say for all the different sections in this article. If you do all this and quickly look over this document before going on your next date, your next problem will be how girls won’t stop calling.


things to talk about

If you are serious about getting the girls you want

If you are serious about getting decent with girls, check out my books. There is so much I couldn’t tell you in this article because things to talk about on a date is just a small part of seduction, there is a lot to teach and, to be honest, there are certain things I won’t share with so many people.

If you want to learn more about this, I have written 6 total books on the subject and if you buy all of them together you can get them for 60% off here (Just 27$).

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About the Author


I'm an American who has spent all of the last 6 years traveling the world and seducing women which has given me a level of expertise that can change your life. Check out my books: 1) The Key Logger 2) The Perfect Conversation 3) What Makes a Woman Want You 4) Elite Online Dating 5) Signs She Likes You 6) 9 Laws of Attractive Body Language 7) The Single Guy's Playground: Sex and Adventure in South East Asia and more. Or get all 9 of my books for 60% off (only $31.99) Like getting 6 of 9 books free!

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  • Good tips.
    1. 20, what percentage of your first dates end with a bang?
    2. Do you always pay for everything or do you let girls pay if they feel like it.

    • Thanks josh
      1. it really depends on where i am. For example here in Ukrainre where girls are very conservative it’s very low, like 10 percent. in latin america its like 80% and i south east asia like 95%. really depends on the culture. finland was like 80%.
      2. i let the girl pay if she ever offers because she is essentially investing in the relationship. however, i dont make a big deal out of paying if its what she wants

    • Environment is key.

    • Yeah girls are very different in different countries. Thank god for that though 😉

    • Cecil J

      Hey 20,
      Those question above from Josh make sense.

      In response…
      1-How many dates does it take for a game expert like you in Ukraine to the bang?

      2-If they viewed a guy as sucker/chump like a lot of these foreign marriage tour types can be-how many dates for a lower social acumen guy is it likely to be in UA/FSU?

      3-What’s the percentages in Central Europe (Poland, Hungary, CZ), the Balkans (Bulgaria, Romania, Serbia) and the Baltics (Estonia, Latvia)?

      4-Is the rest of Europe (central, Balkans, Baltics) as high as even Latin Americas first date close rate @80% or do they not surprise the norms like that… Maybe a country or two have more open for adventure and exploration girls in these regions that don’t have the FSU reservedness-have you seen this?

      Thanks 20

    • in ukraine its like 3 average depending on the city. but i really have to push.
      in most of the rest of europe its usually 1st date.

  • Sue

    You know I’ve been reading your articles for a very long time. I think I’ve read them all and as a girl I think they’re quite amusing. I wish there was a girl version. Or articles directed towards a female audience. I’d love to know your perspective on how to get inside men.

    • I love hearing it Sue. Actually i have a lot of info on that. I used to have long coversations woth my ex, basically so that she wont get duped by guys ever. Unfortunately, i think my female reader base is too small to do an article for women. but ill write it down as a possible idea.

    • Cecil J

      Make an ebook for females telling them how to get the best results in sediction, attraction, dating, relationship retention, and even marriage. Monetize the female inquisitiveness.

    • Ive thought about this and yeah it would be an awesome book. but it would just be useless to 99% of my reader base.

    • There is a girl who has a youtube channel which is like a girls verse of this. Her name is Layan Bubbly. I wish that 20 would do youtube videos, maybe myself and him can collaborate on my channel.

    • we’ve done a couple, but we like to keep our faces anonymous, so that ruins a lot of youtube potential

  • fabian

    which questions do you ask to find out what men she likes? If you ask it straight she probably won’t give a straight answer

    • you can tell a lot of times the questions she asks you. if she is only asking anout your job/where you live/ car. things like that, probably gold digger. if she asks if you want to have kids rtc. probably interested in a familiy.

      you cant go off of juat one answer but if you pay attention she starts to give away what she’s really looking for.

  • Cecil J

    Do you use much NLP and other persuasion techniques?

    • No, I know about them but its just not my style so much

    • The only NLP technique I can remember using on a date or infield is Eliciting Values.

  • Great article, 20 how many weeks ahead of time do you pipeline for DR and Colombia. I read your ebook on online dates but I don’t thing you covered that.

    • Thx Franz.
      I Like to start about two weeks ahead. I think it’s about right. Otherwise girls could meet a guy during that time and all your hard work will go up in flames.

    • Well I’m totally messing up I started 2 months ahead of time. Even though I get good results I lose a lot of them because they lack patience. Out of lets say a hundred girls that talk to online by the time I land lose 70 of them. I had a feeling it was due to lack of patience especially in this new age where everything moved fast. I just wanted to make sure by getting your opinion. Thanks

    • yeah i have tried a lot of different time frames and the return on investment for 2 weeks seemed to be the best