The Game Engine: Expectation Management

TravelHardcoreGame9 Comments

In this post I want to put forward a thought that may help you coping with some setbacks or even a bad streak in your game.

You have to realise that game isn’t an exact science. An approach that works great for the first girl, won’t work on the next. Or even if you would have approached the same girl, the same way but at another time, the outcome could have been different.

Don’t take the rejection personal.

We never know all the factors at play, there’s always element of chance to it. Especially for the initial stages of attraction, when you are just meeting new girls.

You should manage your expectations accordingly:

  • Not every girl you will approach in the club will want to talk to you. You’ll get shot down cold occasionally. Deal with it.
  • Not every interaction will give lead to a number or kiss close.
  • Not every number you get or girl you kiss will turn into a date or lay.

Manage your expectations and accept that these ‘failures’ are required to get the results that you want.

Compare your game to a heat engine. As explained in thermodynamics, even the best possible heat engine won’t ever reach 100% fuel efficiency. Energy is always lost to heat.

You have to accept these losses. Strive to reach for ‘high efficiency’ by improving your game, but accept this can never be 100% and failure is inherent to game.

Use expectation management to not take rejection personal. In order to succeed, you must fail (and repeat, and repeat, and repeat).

So set your goals: “I will approach at least 10 girls today” and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t pull a girl or if you didn’t get enough number closes.

But DO beat yourself up if you don’t live up to your these goals; if you didn’t make those approaches.

Because even when your game isn’t perfect, you will get the results if you put in the work. Your “game engine” will use more gas to the mile, but you’ll get ahead either way and your game will improve by doing so.

It’s a win-win. Get out there. Make it happen.

Peace,
THC

 

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About the Author

TravelHardcore

I’m TravelHardcore, but people simply call me THC, although I don’t smoke. I speak several languages and suffer from insomnia. I left a well paying job, stuck in a miserable office to go out and see the world. I simply live for adventure. Cheers.

  • Smooth Operator

    I like expectations management, it keeps your head cool!

    • Exactly, don’t beat yourself up if things aren’t going smooth right away.

  • mm

    hi THC
    what is your ratio in real life (day game and night game) : number of fuck close / (divided by) number of approachs ? it depends I know , but just to have an idea
    cheers

    • Depends on so many factors. Cold approach / AI, country, location, your mood, day to day, the weather. Really hard to put a number on. I have days were I’m on fire and nearly all girls I approach work out (kiss / number) & I had days were nothing works out.

  • Bat

    That’s one of my biggest sticking points. Since I discovered this blog and similars about one year ago, I’ve read a lot of lay reports and hardly any reports about failures so my expectations changed. In this period I’ve been more successful than ever, but due to false expectations I’m even more depressed when I’m not succeeding e.g. at a club evening.

    • Hey Bat, the success stories are the most fun to tell and share, but it’s good to keep in mind that behind every successful lay report are tons of practice, failed approaches, off-nights, etc.

  • Patriot Journal

    Thanks for posting this 20! This is a good thing to remember no matter what level game you have in my opinion. I always remember to be above whatever happens. If she ends up putting out the snl or if she calls you names for merely invading her extended space, you never want to let them know you might be affected by their rejection, i always try to act as cool and unbothered as James Bond would. Then you quickly move to the next target and start again. The little train that could always wins in the end.

  • Patriot Journal

    Thanks for posting this THC! This is a good thing to remember no matter what level game you have in my opinion. I always remember to be above whatever happens. If she ends up putting out the snl or if she calls you names for merely invading her extended space, you never want to let them know you might be affected by their rejection, i always try to act as cool and unbothered as James Bond would. Then you quickly move to the next target and start again. The little train that could always wins in the end.

    • Exactly, always keep it in mind. If you put in the work you will get the results