Settle Down or Never Settle?

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Settling down or never settle
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This is a guest post by WestIndianArchie.

The player goes through stages

At the beginning of the journey, he has trouble mustering the courage to even approach a girl. Then, the issue is what are his first words. How to transition? When to initiate the touch? When to isolate her from her group of friends? How to get things really started when they’re finally alone?

But sooner rather than later, the player masters the basics of the game. Or so he thinks.

The months..years that follow, find the player in and out of various women, lots of adventure, constant novelty.

Just like the movies, our hero meets his match, a woman that meets his requirements. Unlike the movies, the player doesn’t have to make some grand romantic gesture. The only real “tell” in the world of a player is that “her” texts gain in priority. Before he knows it, she’s over at his apartment all of the time, he’s met her friends, they’ve been to events together. A non-consensual relationship. The player rolls with it. He doesn’t mind the constant access to sex. It usually gets better as she learns what he really likes. The food is okay, but the unexpected bonus is companionship. Having gone through dozens of bar flies, party girls, impressionable college students, grizzled cougars, and career women – the surprise of this girl who’s wormed her way into his life – is her humanity.

Unlike the movies, as he lets her into his life more, his alpha starts to crumble, and she starts to test him more. He looks up one day, probably holding a purse at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and finds himself in service to a chick who used to serve him.

The bloom is now off the rose, and rather than figure out how to break her resolve, how to address her needs and nagging – he backslides into the older version of himself. Uncharted territory rarely means sticking to new skills. The common narrative here is that he goes back to being beta, he was never a true alpha to begin with. That’s what society teaches us, and in moments of weakness we reject what our own eyes have seen and rely on things that don’t work.

The story doesn’t end here, but life leads us back to this question again.

The red pill is discovered. Game is put into perspective. Success that would not have been believable in that first dalliance with the game, follows.

Now, it’s not enough to fit into a size 2 dress and fill out a C-cup bra.

He finds another young lady who is different than the rest.

Does he ease into a long term relationship, this time on his terms, or does he stay single?

Never settling?

Never settle

The Pro’s

New women and new adventures for the foreseeable future. Never getting too bogged down in any girl’s life so as to come under the heavy yoke of a relationship. He keeps few regulars in rotation, with new girls cropping up as long as he can stomach the real world, or handle the annoyance of online dating.

The long term benefit is developing himself to a point of true self sufficiency, independence.

The Con’s

The life takes a toll on a player. If it’s not the late nights out, exchanging sex for sleep, the alcohol and party favors – it’s the stress of dealing with yet another girl and using his energy to help her see the light.

This is obvious.

What is missing is the companionship, the non-sexual aspects of a long term relationship. The benefit that only seems to be gained from the desert of boredom, abyss of her problems….time that is only punctuated by moments of that togetherness that can only be found by running through the gauntlet.


To Settle Down?


Let’s be clear. After a period of great abundance, the player has certain expectations. The regular man is content with 1 woman, 1 home, and trying to maintain that peace. The player does not have those fantasies. Domestic dreams often crash on the rocks of feminine reality.

For a player to consider a long term relationship, aside from the obvious perfection in his partner, he wants the arrangement to be at his convenience. He may selfishly require fidelity on her part, but not offer his own. He demands her compliance with his wishes, but he does not put himself under her constraint.

Society publicly hates a man like this, but secretly wishes to be him. Peel away the admonitions and think about it clearly, the player merely has the mundane power that the vast majority of women hold. He has choice.

The player merely has the mundane power that the vast majority of women hold.


Neophytes of the game think this is the ultimate. A permanent situation with a willing partner, and the ability to indulge without restraint.

The Pro’s to Settling Down Player style?

That closeness in a relationship that only comes with time?

Someone to depend on for more than just regular sex.


The Cons?

What could be the downside of having a main chick and being able to entertain side chicks?


If he chooses to stay out there, he has to keep eating right, keep lifting, keep making more money, keep building himself, keep dealing with new girls and their problems.

If he chooses to keep a primary, he has to do all of the above, and keep his best friend, his confidant, in check. Either she dreads his absence, fears the competition, or her fires still burn for him – the player actively keeps his planet in orbit.

There is a cost to everything.

guest-author-iconGuest post by WestIndianArchie

WestIndianArchie is a member of RVF with legendary insights into a wide variety of subjects.


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  • Great article WIA, you absolutely nailed it with: “The player merely has the mundane power that the vast majority of women hold.”

    I was talking with Fisto today about this, men and women have different biological imperatives and hence interests, goals and desires.

    Yet, for one group (women) it’s socially perfectly acceptable to live up to those (settling with the best option), while for the other group (men), pursuing variety is put in a bad light to say the least.

  • Josh Bar

    Deep topic. This is a fork in the road that every player will eventually have to make and is in the back of their minds.

  • Guest

    Or you could take a third option: develop emotionally-rewarding long-term OPEN relationships with women.

    • Fisto

      That’s something I would have a hard time with.

    • 20Nation

      women can accept open relationships easier than men because for pretty much all of man’s existence, there were no contraceptives.

      If a guy went and cheated on his main girl, it wouldn’t affect the main girl at all.
      If a girl cheated on her main guy, he may never know if the kid is his and it will affect their lives greatly.

      For that reason it is torture to ask a guy to accept that his girl is with other guys. It’s telling him to completely ignore an instinct that’s been part of man since the beginning.

      BTW nice article WIA

    • VA1NGL0R10US

      “If a guy went and cheated on his main girl, it wouldn’t affect the main girl at all.”

      I disagree. Biologically speaking, the male’s resources could be divided or completely hijacked by another female and potential offspring. The prime female will be more than a little miffed.

      “Get your hands off my man!” translates as “Get your hands of my resources”

      Both parties have a vested interest in monogamy. Him for certainty of genetics, her for certainty of resources.

      Alternatively, both have a vested interest in cheating. Him for spreading of genetics. Her for diversification of providers of resources and injections (pun intended) of alpha genes.

    • 20Nation

      which is why women are jealous too.

      But if its not his main girl a lot of times the guy didn’t have to support the other girl. It doesn’t affect her on the same level. If they had a strong bond, the guy would still stick to his main girl.

      If the main girl gets knocked up by another guy, you can say goodbye to his genetics being passed on. But the woman will have no such problem. Since, scientifically speaking, the point of life is to survive and reproduce, the man is the one that could be affected most in achieving his biological imperative.

      I’m saying the reason a man’s jealousy is naturally stronger. Of course there will be exceptions, but overall that’s how it is. I have had a lot of girls accept that I see other girls and agree to stay loyal to me as long as I always use a condom.

      I have tried to give women the same freedom, but it just makes me miserable.

    • It’s true, the woman is in direct competition for the man’s resources with other women. Since it’s a guarantee that the other women will try to claim him (his resources), the main girl HAS to be jealous and has to vest interest in making him monogamous.

  • mental

    Simply a great article – no pain, no gain!

  • David

    Do we know any examples of alphas who settled down?

    Who could have been more alpha than Bruce Jenner, the Decathlon champion? Now I read on the tabloids that he is having a sex change operation to become a “woman”.

    Holy Scheiss.