THC’s release of his Thailand guide makes me think back of our3 days of party in Pattaya… Time for a flashback.
Day 1: Let the Party in Pattaya begin
Bankok, 2013 – THC and I have been training pretty regularly at my place and we usually get some huge beers and head to the pool afterwards. These talks have led to a lot of insights into game and also travel planning. There is usually never enough beers and my guard or one of his buddies will go out for resupply. These talks have led us to call it the “stimulation pool” as opposed to a stimulus deprivation chamber.
Anyway on the spur of the moment we decided to go to Pattaya the next day after we got up. Of course we were hungover so we last minute packed to make it in time for the bus. A 2 hour trip and I think it was 100 baht.
THC and 20Nation had found this shitty little hotel on top of a bar deep inside the city so we went back there to have this aging lady giggling and preening all over THC like a schoolgirl. We did a tabata workout of 20 seconds on 10 seconds rest for two 5 minute rounds of squats and push-ups and got a decent workout in.
We headed out and bought some M-150s (energy drink) to mix with vodka but they were out so we bought tequila instead. I could tell it was top quality because there was a little sombrero for a cap.
We headed over to walking street on death scooters, which are like regular taxi scooters but with Thai drivers that seem to have a death wish. We ate at the Beer Garden restaurant on the water and mused about how lovely it was to see all these non transactional relationships taking place (cue eye rolling). The place was playing some great 80’s music and we were getting a lot of attention from the pros and staff alike.
We headed into Walking Street with our mixers and booze and THC said “lets find an alley where we can drink this…..that one looks good”.
We walked down the alleyway and found a spot that actually had some benches on a small porch that was raised above street level in front of a closed store. We sat there and made jokes about the criteria for a “suitable for drinking alleyway”. This one was complete with shady Persians standing in front with lots of pros coming too and fro, along with dueling ladyboys. Truly a funny scene which matched perfectly with the awful drinks we had.
We also exchanged pleasantries with the store owner across from us and I could tell she was amused by the way we were carrying on.
We left and went to a pool hall/bar called Hot Tuna across from the club Insomnia (as noted in THC’s Thailand guide) where I witnessed some of what might be the largest ass implants I have ever seen. About 6 hardcore pro ladyboy prostitutes where in front dancing around and trying to pull in whoever they could. A few looked like caricatures of women with the overdone plastic surgery “enhancing” the ass and tits to gross proportions. One or two, I have to admit, were very hot aesthetically and I can’t imagine how they were hiding their dicks with how tight the shit they were wearing was.
We hung out and “pre drank” until about 4 am until a girl I had met before came over and joined us. We were wasted and started peeling labels off the san mig light bottles and pasting them on our faces like war paint. I put one on my girl to mark her and I could tell she liked it.
Game concept noted: Bringing them into this little bubble of familiarity with stupid things that make girls feel part of the group is gold; we also had them fist bumping us and saying “boom”.
She actually paid the amount we were short when the bill came and then bought us some additional rounds. I left THC and the girl and I got some more beer at the 711 and chicken hearts from street food vendors before we jumped on a death scooter. We were 3 deep carrying bulging bags in her lap (it’s so cute the way girls ride with both legs to one side) and this guy was flooring it. I love riding those things.
We got to my room and just started smashing like crazy. She was a screamer and was calling me “you goddamn American!” While I plowed the hell out of her. I made her say she loved my American cock and then came all over her face and in her mouth. It was great. Also made her squirt and you can see she was super wet.
NSFW pictures CLICK HERE
We got up around 4 pm and walked outside saying “good morning” to the staff and they laughed and said “good afternoon” and we said “no, good morning” and walked over wobbly to eat a sandwich at subway.
We then cruised over to a Muay Thai gym and got in some great pad work in.
We walked back to our hotel and bought some beers to drink along the way where we found a kids playground, this seemed like a good spot but there wasn’t any benches so I pointed at the seesaw and we both sat on one and drank a huge San Mig light that was very refreshing.
We finished walking back and finally found some vodka in a 7-11 and more M150’s before making it back home to change. Also there was a cute little girl behind the counter and I gave her my number after pretending to write it down. THC and I have both been wanting to nail one of these 7-11 girls.
We decided our alleyway that we found couldn’t be beaten so we went there to have the same store owner say “welcome back!” With a big grin.
The place we were going to sit was still open and we sat down to curious looks from the women running it. We drank and joked and observed everything that was happening around us and applied different game concepts and the nature of women to what we saw and had a great time while people walked past us wondering what exactly we were doing to have such a good time.
We headed back to hot tuna and smoke more shisha, the staff was happy to see us and I’d say this was about the wildest night so far. I took photos with a couple hot ladyboys, a python wrapped around my neck, and I picked up a huge fat lady that charged for the bathroom entrance. At one point some Russian guy wandered in and the lady who was serving us told him he couldn’t bring in the Chang beer he had. He ignored her and tried to talk to me. She became visibly upset and I told him that she was a friend of mine and to beat it. She was very thankful and that goodwill investment would pay off later. Pretty much your standard Tuesday really.
I had a girl come over and start talking to me. She had a smoking little body and by this point we were wearing beer labels on our faces again. I told her I liked her but that I don’t pay for sex. She said “I know you don’t.” And then explained she was on holiday. This seemed plausible because she was with one very fat friend and another plain Jane type.
I put a beer label on her face and she was loving it. We were kissing and taking pictures. I said lets go to my place and she pulled out a key and said “I have a scooter”. I had no idea how to drive back to my hotel so I said “taxi” and she nodded. Just then the fat friend decided to pretend to pass out on the table and really exaggerate her helplessness and need for assistance.
THC tried to intervene but it was already too late. I got her number and she said she would come back. Definite longshot so we went across the street to insomnia.
THC was making out with a girl before I could finish walking through the door behind him. We were rock stars in this place. Girls kept wanting to dance, girls with guys kept peering over at us.
We finally found 3 cute girls that were being treated to drinks by a super beta chump. He inadvertently bought us drinks too since the girls were ordering shots for the table. God what a sucker.At one point the girl he was “with” was bossing him around. They were a group and THC and I were ready to take our girls home.
I grabbed by the arm and said “be a man and take her by the hand walk her out of here”. Apparently he thought I told him to leave and so he slumped his shoulders and started whining about how he’s a nice guy to his girl. So some small scale drama briefly took place. The girl I was chatting up bought more drinks and we actually closed down insomnia. I had the “I don’t pay for sex conversation” and she was cool with it.
The trouble was we couldn’t separate these girls from one another. Finally when we got outside I cavemanned mine and drug her into the nearest 711 under the premise that we needed more beer. I saw the 711 girl I had given my number to the night before and her face just looked crestfallen. I felt bad and she pretended to be busy on the other side of the store and I checked out. I negotiated a taxi price and we jumped into the back of a truck where I opened a bottle of beer with my belt buckle and we shared it on the ride home.
I smashed her about 4 times. She was taller and had a nice ass. She had some small stretch marks though.
We woke up around 5 pm starving and hungover. We said our usual “good mornings” to the girls outside. We didn’t have the energy to train and so we ate at a shitty restaurant nearby.
We also deferred our alleyway for later that night. We decided that the death scooters were too safe to drive regularly; so we both bought two big San Migs and drank them on the backs of the scooters while weaving around through traffic on our way to Hot Tuna. Everyone was happy to see us and we ordered shisha right away.
Numbers passing by
The previous two nights I’d handed out my number several times. I kept getting texts and phone calls and had no idea who any of the girls were. I just told them all where I was and said to come. Before long we were feeling good again and the first girl came by. I don’t remember her at all, nor do I know wtf I was thinking because she looked like shit. I ignored her until the second girl came.
It was the 711 girl and she looked cute as hell. She had a big smile on her face and I was surprised to see her. The first girl got the hint and vanished. We kept drinking and the 711 girl I made take a shisha smoke kiss and ordered her a beer. The lady who was serving us came over and told her in thai how I helped her last night and bragged on me. She sipped her beer politely and glanced up lovingly and after awhile we were beer label wearing drunk again.
I put some labels on her face and she took them off when she went to the bathroom. I looked at THC and said “watch this”. I glanced at her not wearing the beer labels I put on and did the hurt and despondent “young and the restless” lookaway. She immediately started apologizing and trying to get me to look at her. THC tried not to laugh or spit his beer out. I conveyed to her that she couldn’t reuse the old labels but would have to order another beer. For the record I’m not talking about the big label on the bottle but the one in the neck. These are about the size of a breathright strip (see picture below).
The girl from the night before with the fat cockblocking friend came over and hugged me and I snubbed her and pointed at my phone. She looked hurt and said shed been calling me. I shrugged my shoulders and pointed at the 711 girl. She slumped away and I pulled 711 close to me because I could tell she was getting apprehensive.
We kept drinking and in a new level of absurdity THC and I bought two matching skull rings and started saying “skull power” when we would fist bump.
It was getting time for street food and I sent her over to procure some for us and we ate more chicken hearts and beef of some kind.
We said our goodbyes to the staff and they all told us good luck and to come back as soon as we could. THC went to the club and 711 girl and I jumped on a death scooter and headed to my place where I smashed her a good 4 times between then and 10 am. She told me she loved me and wanted to come see me whenever she could.
Back to Bangkok
The next day we woke up at our customary later in the evening and said our good mornings. We then ate at an even shittier restaurant than the day before. This was also not going to be a training day.
While figuring out logistics THC realized he needed to make a border run the very next day so we hurriedly went back and checked out. The lady who runs/owns the place only charged us 3 nights and seemed sad to see us go. We hustled our asses back to Bangkok and that about sums it up.
I wish we had footage of all of the shit we did. That would have been an epic Video Datasheet. There were a lot of memorable quotes, game knowledge, and ridiculous moments.
I guess we’ll have to go back to make that one.