Never Show Fear To A Woman

20NationBody Language, Game32 Comments

never show fear
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Never Show Fear To A Woman

never show fear

I’m currently in Nicaragua and last night I witnessed something that really showed how showing fear to a woman can destroy a guy’s chances. This is something I have talked about in my book and only last night did I understand how important this is. Here is the story:


Last night I went out with a friend. It was the end of the night and the girls we spent all our time with couldn’t come home with us that night. We walked over to the food area outside of the club to see if we could pull any drunk girls. Sure enough as I was walking past a tall drunk girl started talking to me in English.

She wasn’t ugly, but I wouldn’t say she was hot. She was from Miami and looked like she had a pretty nice ass, so in my semi- drunken state I started escalating with her. She accepted my advances easily and 30 seconds after the conversation started her tongue was down my throat.

As I felt her up a bit, I realized her ass wasn’t as nice as I thought. Time to go into lazy mode

“Come home with me.” I told her.

“Ok.” She said staring at me. “But wait what about my friends? Come eat with us and I will come after.”

“Nope, if you want to come home with me, you have to come now.” I said.

We continued this for a bit, then I used my friend who sat there looking a bit bored as an excuse for why I must go.

“If I get him a friend to come with us, then will you come eat with us?”

The wing man in me had to accept. She brought him over to three of her friends, introduced him and told him to choose his favorite.

I watched him talk to the girls and I noticed from his body language that he looked really nervous. Maybe he had never had it this easy before? He looked uncomfortable being thrust into the situation.

My girl came back and said “Well, which one did you like?”

“The one on the left.” He said choosing the prettiest one.

She went over and talked to her friend and returned.

“Alright, she’ll come with you.”

Wow. That was easy. She was another girl from Miami and she wasn’t bad. We all hopped into the taxi and my friend looked shaken. I think it was the easiness of the situation that threw him off guard.

We got back to the hotel and I went to my room and was taking her clothes off right after we got inside. My friend took the very slutty friend to his room and I assumed that he had sealed the deal.

I sent my girl home and I wondered why his girl had already left. I didn’t hear the story until the morning, but he was given by far the easiest opportunity to get laid in his life and it freaked him out. He didn’t get the girl because she could see fear in him.


Looking back, I can think of many more examples like this. I can think back on my past and remember specific instances where fear was the main, maybe even the only reason that I lost the girl. When I took my last trip with THC and Fisto I saw that maybe one of their biggest reasons for their crazy success with women is that they always appear completely fearless to the women they go after. This is something that has immense power over attraction.


You don’t have to be fearless

Everybody has fears and all men have felt fear while in a situation with a girl. However, there is something you must understand; you don’t have to be fearless, you just have to appear fearless.

There are many ways you can do this. The first and most important is body language. One thing I noticed my friend doing last night was touching the back of his neck while he was talking to his girl. It looked awkward for me watching and women are even better at picking up on body language signals than men.

If you want to appear fearless at all time, mimic the body language of James bond. I’ve talked about those things here, but the idea is to be calm and relaxed in any and all situations. If a girl picks up on this, it will make her soaking wet. If a girl picks up on the fact that you are scared or nervous, it will dry her up just as fast.


The key to eliminating fear

The next step is to literally eliminate those fears all together. My dad used to repeat this quote to me all the time when I was growing up.

We only fear what we don’t understand.

That is the idea behind eliminating fear, understanding. Most fear is irrational and if you want to stop being afraid of anything about a woman, start learning and understanding them. You can read tons of things on women and even more useful is to go out into the world and experience women for yourself. I don’t remember ever seeing a guy with a notch count over 150 that gets easily rattled by any woman.

If you want to get rid of nerves before a date, go on more dates.

If you want to not be scared to talk to cute girls that you walk past during the day, talk to more girls.

If you want to be calm and collected like James Bond with whatever any girl throws at you, spend more time seducing girls.
nevershow fear

Being rational with fear

Fear keeps us safe, it also put’s us in danger. We will handle nearly every situation better being calm and collected than scared. Internalize the fact that fear is an illusion and you are the master of yourself.


nevershow fear

Just do it

I’ve used this more times than I can count. It’s Nike’s slogan and it is VERY useful in almost every single scary situation in game. You are scared to kiss her? Don’t thinking about it, just do it. Should you open her? Don’t think about it, just do it. Did you fuck up too bad early to get this girl? Don’t think about it, just keep working on her. Thinking about this things will not only cause fear, but they will usually make the situation worse. Just do it.


Once you have mastered fear

Only then are you aloud to show fear and only in situations where it will help you connect with a girl. If you look scared all the time, then you admit to a girl a fear, it will make you much more unattractive. However, if you appear unfazed and completely fearless at all times with her, then you admit to her your greatest fear, you will create a very strong connection.


If you start doing these things it will become easy to never show fear to a woman.



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About the Author


I'm an American who has spent all of the last 6 years traveling the world and seducing women which has given me a level of expertise that can change your life. Check out my books: 1) The Key Logger 2) The Perfect Conversation 3) What Makes a Woman Want You 4) Elite Online Dating 5) Signs She Likes You 6) 9 Laws of Attractive Body Language 7) The Single Guy's Playground: Sex and Adventure in South East Asia and more. Or get all 9 of my books for 60% off (only $31.99) Like getting 6 of 9 books free!

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  • Vincent Vinturi

    I’ve been doing this thing for a while and I still get nervous, shaken, approach anxiety, etc. from time to time.

    Especially if it’s the first approach of the day it’s usually a throwaway approach. Throwing away both the girl and the nerves, that is. Then I gain momentum throughout the day and after talking to 2 or 3 girls I’m cool as a cucumber.

    The thing that really tripped me up when I was starting out was the idea that you need to be “in state, bro”. Fuck being in state. Be totally out of state and show up anyway. Work through the anxiety and you’ll come out the other end a better man.

    Just my 2 cents.

    You swing by San Juan Del Sur yet? Some easy tourist pussy for the taking in them there parts. German girls mostly, if you like the freaky Deutchesex. 😛

    • 20Nation

      i was so close to going, but we had to get back to Managua. I’ll try to go there before i go to costa rica

  • Joe G

    Swoop Crew-
    What are some of the best US Cities you’ve been to for game?

    • 20Nation

      it seems to me like the best are vegas, miami and NYC

    • Leroy X

      What about California and the Northwest (Portland, SeaTac, Vancouver)??? Any thoughts on those places???

    • James Angus

      I prefer Portland over SEA and San Diego or Sacramento over Los Angeles and SF for day. Mid sized cities that are a little more relaxed but still have some edge. LA goes to bed surprisingly early and hot spots are spread out. Maybe it’s just me as the mellow Cali guy.

    • JD

      I love the Bay Area people’s intelligent and relaxed vibe. Sacramento has like a cookie cutter strip mall vibe but its not totally lame (produced the deftones). LA is spread out with crap logistics-been there done that. San Diego have yet to explore. Portlanders are really cool. Seattle seems more type A- they’re Scandinavian lumber jacks who try to act California cool or NYC sophisticated- the Seattle vibe with its passive aggressive mangina ways annoys me- those clowns don’t have 1/3 the fire of the Miami crowd who have real passion.

    • James Angus

      Start most sprawling California cities from center to avoid cookie cutter sprawl. Midtown Sacramento is compact with range of hotels and areas. Start day with government and office professionals to shanghai before they commute home. Hit Old Sacramento tourists in a few square blocks and then the coffee shops, brewpubs, art galleries evening. Smaller nighttime club scene that can be pretty good. On hot summer days raft or inner tube down the river with a case of beer and hit on coeds. Sacramento has a lot of creative people just under the surface. Deftones, Cake, Tezla, The Cramps, as well as a lot of other up and coming musicians that you’ve heard backing up big names but don’t quite recognize. If it’s not happening for you, move on to Bay Area two hours down the road.

    • Leroy X

      Would you even bother with Seattle or Portland or are the NorCal girls prettier?

      Thanks for the mini field report on Sac Town-I heard from a coed that Chico State is really poppin too.

    • James Angus

      I take vacations where there is art, entertainment, sports, education or culture that excites me. My selfish excitement attracts girls. If I go just to get laid, I find it happens less because I am in pursuit instead of selection mindset from the start.
      To answer your questions, haven’t been to Chico in years, so don’t know. Northwest girls tend to have great skin, but more obesity. Take JDs advice on Seattle and LA, and stick to Oregon, N. Cal. where girls are more athletic. If you want just hot girls, clubs and good logistics go to Vegas as 20 suggested, it’s where all the SoCal girls congregate to cheat on their boyfriends.

    • 20Nation

      wow great answers. Endorsed

  • Leroy X

    This is a bit embarrassing but I have anxiety (panic attacks, ocd) and its hard for me to get comfortable in a conversation with women-I can cold approach all day and not give a flip (ive done well over 200 approaches). I like being bold-its like riding a roller coaster or hiding from someone in the woods. Fun in its own way.

    I grew up isolated and a only child in a crap town with no night life-I think it’s my poor negative thinking loop. I wonder if I should just get a gig abroad or find a US City for game. Ive even thought P4P but the concept grosses me out-like eating a sandwich out of a public urinal.

    My question is-
    how can you be alpha and kick ass in game deep inner game issues that project outwardly?

    Even when I try to be manly I feel anger and rage-like I’m going to ambush someone in the jungle not that relaxed “Bitch, climb up to my level if I let you up there” cocky vibe someone with the club on lock has? To me, alpha was always anger and ruthlessness ready to mess someone up in a split second like a mercenary but, perhaps my anger and insecurity are all really just fear. My own psychoanalysis is all this bull shit in my head is just fear. Fear is the problem.

    • 20Nation

      You can fix these problems, but it sounds like they are bigger problems and would take a lot more than a comment (and it would be a hell of a long comment).
      But I will say that being angry and aggressive is not alpha. Being able to take care of yourself is. I promise you that you will lose way too many girls being angry and aggressive. You just want the confidence of knowing that if something bad did happen you would be able to take care of yourself. That’s what girls want.

    • Aka Leroy X

      Maybe one day you can write up another great blog entry on deep inner game problems and struggling men finding solutions.

      I guarantee you other pick up consumers have some of these issues. Ive bought stuff from Ross Jeffries and he had video testimonials of guys who were in their 40s who stuttered in front women (I don’t do that) just brain freeze and walk away but at least I speak and am pretty direct.

      I think some of it is an American problem and once you guys go to Europe we’ll have more knowledge for men.

      I’d bet even Western Europe has more open women. For instance, I did approaches on Laguna Beach, CA and two German 7s talked to me for half an hour while several American women wouldn’t even hardly speak and gave the ewww creep vibe or laughed at me, and in undergrad I was way worse than I am now and one of the few women who were really nice to me were au pairs-Polish, Korean, Ecuadorian, African.

      I long for the day when these proud American women eat their meal of crow. It will be a good day. A hyper inflation crash and they’ll doing all sorts of tricks for cigarettes, whiskey, and bags of grain.

      In my town, I can walk through the local campus-its conservative, uptight, and stuffy, and read pain in young mens eyes and see a bunch of 6s and 7s in ugg boots acting like they’re model or show girl quality (LOL).

    • 20Nation

      that’s a good idea for a post for sure. We might be doing some skype coaching in the future, but we will see.

      Yeah reading your description of american women made me feel pretty happy i’m currently not there haha

  • Jacque J

    This is great motivation! I cosign on this article. This article just summed up the first step in game! I can’t wait for the Nicaragua data sheet!

    • 20Nation

      It should be coming soon. I’m headed to costa rica tomorrow, then panama, then Colombia. A lot of good stuff should be coming

  • Just Saying

    What is there to fear when it comes to women? I’m going to use her every way that I can think of, what is to fear in that? Maybe I’ll enjoy it too much? Nah… Not as long as there are younger ones out there.

    • 20Nation

      lol truth. However, I’m pretty sure there is some hard wiring about being afraid of girls you don’t know, because for most of the existence of man, their was a good chance their boyfriend will try to kill you.

  • GetItGoing

    Enjoyed! Great subject. Gave me lots to think about.

    This is why I love manosphere/blogs like this-someone contributing experienced opinions that have value a man in the pursuit of growing can really use.

    • 20Nation

      That is exactly what we try to make this blog about. Glad you enjoyed it

  • James Angus

    Just had my most tongue tied moment of fear while opening since I was fourteen. She would have said yes to a grunt and I couldn’t make a sound, so I can relate. I just turned around, and honestly laughed at myself. Was a time I lived in fear and would have carried it with me. Now know it was just a moment and keep moving forward. Two steps forward, one step back, and you’re dancing through life.

    • 20Nation

      happens to the best of us. Just learn from it and fix it

    • GetItGoing

      Hey 20Nation, was trying to contact you regarding your e-books. I have a purchasing question.


    • 20Nation

      send me an email at

    • GetItGoing

      Hi, sent you an email some days ago, haven’t heard back yet.

    • 20Nation

      it locked the account because i have been jumping countries so quickly. I’m trying to get it figured out

  • Aka Leroy X

    20 and Fisto-
    How many cold approaches have you guys done your whole career? Over 2,000?

    • 20Nation

      i have no idea and Fisto has probably done more than me… so I can’t even imagine for him

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  • Nasty Nomad

    It was the specifics that I was wondering about.