How to cheat on your girlfriend: top 5 mistakes to avoid

TravelHardcoreLifestyle24 Comments

How to cheat on your girlfriend
Share Article:

How to cheat on your girlfriend

How to cheat on your girlfriend

Humans are not monogamous by nature so being in a monogamous relationship can be a big challenge. We can stay loyal too out of love and respect, but it’s important to face reality as well. In my dating life I have tried different options:

  • Staying loyal and suppressing these urges, ignoring my true nature. This lead me to feel miserable and soon enough it negatively impacted the relationship as well.
  • Giving in to the urges while I was in a relationship, which brought on a constant risk of being caught and hurting my girlfriend’s feelings.

Now I don’t look for “relationships” anymore. If I have short term relationships, I’m always upfront to the girl as to what I expect from them and what they can expect from me. In this setup there is no need for cheating. But if having a relationship is important to you, I believe in some situations cheating on your girlfriend can actually help your relationship.

But if you are going to cheat on your girlfriend, you better do it right. Here are some tips on how to cheat on your girlfriend. You can also flip these tips around and they will help you to recognize the signs of a cheating girlfriend…

Mistake #1 : Changing your habits

The number one reason people get caught is because they change their habits. This is also the hardest to hide from your partner because you might be changing some of your habits without realizing it. So pay extra attention not to break any patterns in your behavior. Your girlfriend will notice!

Your grooming habits

If you never cared about your hair, don’t start spending more time about your look.

Your phone habits

If you’ve always been careless about your phone and now you’re terrified to leave it on the kitchen table while you’re taking a piss. A guarantee to raise suspicion with your girlfriend. You should have been very private with your phone from the start. Always keep your phone on silent and always lock it (with a password). Always keep your phone in your pocket or next to you when you go to sleep.

If this hasn’t been your habit, it will be easy for your girlfriend to notice when you are worried about unexpected calls or messages. Consider getting a new phone just for your secret communications. Get a cheap model and leave it in your car or at work; only turn it on when you need to, this way you don’t have to worry about your real phone. You can remain careless with it and when your girlfriend searches your phone she won’t find anything discriminating.

How to cheat on your girlfriend: get a new cellphone

Your sex life

Women will especially look for signs of a cheating boyfriend by investigating your love life. Try to keep your love life as constant as possible. Don’t give her less sex but also don’t try to overcompensate by smashing her more or differently. Having one or more girlfriends on the side will actually increase your sex drive; but keep things as constant as can be with your girlfriend.

Your other girls will do things differently, like things differently, and you may even learn a new trick but don’t try out your new sex skills on your girlfriend.

 

Mistake #2: Too detailed / improvised alibis

It’s a cliche but working late works great as an alibi: You’re working hard for your job and career, you can’t be blamed for that right? But if it’s unusual for your specific profession to all of the sudden start working late, “going out with the boys” can work as well.

It is best if you have specific close friend that can vouch for you. But be careful who you trust and make sure your stories are always aligned. I always had one friend I could use in my alibis, he would always vouch for me.

Keep your stories simple. Be vague and avoid as many details as possible, the more details you lie about the more likely you’ll get caught. YOU won’t remember these details but you can be sure SHE will. Women are like living tape recorders, especially for things that can be used against you.

The less specific your alibi the better, always keep your stories flexible so you won’t have to remember details and there’s room for interpretation. “Having a beer with my friend” can mean anything from a poker night to going clubbing in another town.

 

Mistake #3: Leaving digital traces

Another huge way to get yourself caught is by not erasing all possible digital evidence. I don’t care how hot that sexting-session was, or how romantic the email your other girl sent: Delete everything.

Delete her text messages, delete her emails, delete her pictures and clear your browser history if you have been chatting with her online. Use a separate browser for such activities, i.e. if you always use Chrome, use Firefox for chatting and mailing with her, so it’s not obvious you have erased the browser history. This tip also works great for watching porn 😉

To be even more safe, use a computer only you can access, i.e. your laptop from work.

Should your girlfriend (or wife) have access to your bank statements, make sure you pay in cash for all your expenses that will conflict with your alibi.

Never, ever, EVER give your girlfriend access to your cell phone, email or Facebook account. I know some couples do this, but that’s just a horrible, horrible idea. Don’t get tricked into doing this. You could try to create a fake Facebook account, but that requires a lot of work, a fake email address is more easy.

Mistake #4: Leaving physical traces

Obviously you will try your best of not leaving any physical evidence but women are very good at spotting the tiniest of details so there’s no margin for error.

Girls leave souvenirs

If you can avoid it, don’t bring your new girl to your own place. You will need eagle eyes to make sure she doesn’t leave any traces, and many girls will instinctively try to leave their mark. They will always “forget” an earring or a hairpin, make sure she has all the jewelry on she came in with.

Sweep the whole room for left behind stuff, especially hairs. Vacuum clean your your bed and air out the room and your bed sheets. One hair is all it takes and if you don’t have a cleaning lady to blame it on, it’s a tough one to explain. Women are experts at identifying hairs that don’t belong to them, they can identify 20 types of hair from a distance in a candlelit room.

how to cheat on your girlfriend: remove her souvenirs

A smelly affair

Almost equally developed as a woman’s hair identifying skills is her nose for other women’s perfume. If your mistress was at your place, open the windows and air it out, put your perfume on places where she might have left a bigger smell-print, like your couch or bed.

Your mistress’ perfume may have transferred to your clothes, so always change cloths before you see your girlfriend again. Keep a small version of your own perfume in your car so you can apply it vigorously in case you didn’t get the chance to change your clothes.

Your body

The hot new girl you are seeing may inspire a lot of passion, but always keep alert never to get a hickey or scratch marks… While you might be able to hide some scratches on your back for a few days, no girlfriend in the world is going to believe you got hit by a baseball in your neck. If you get a hickey, you’re in big trouble. For bruises it may help if you are doing martial arts to explain them.

Your girlfriend

You might not only be trying to hide your girlfriend from your mistress, you may also be trying to hide your girlfriend from her. If you do this, you may be hiding pictures of your girlfriend at your place or the second toothbrush in your bathroom. If you’re hiding your girlfriend’s presence, never forget to put these items back in place.

My quick thinking skills were once pushed to the limit when my girlfriend came back and she couldn’t find her toothbrush anymore.

 

 Mistake #5: Admitting / Feeling guilty

Another piece of advice if you want to know how to cheat on your girlfriend: Always deny, never admit.

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn’t me)
Saw me kissin’ on the sofa (It wasn’t me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn’t me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn’t me)

She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn’t me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn’t me)
Heard the scream get louder (It wasn’t me)
She stayed until it was over

Unless you are caught red handed, with your dick in her pussy, always deny.

If you want to hold on to your relationship, never admit to cheating. It will destroy your relationship, no exceptions. Once her trust is gone it will never be the same as before. Maybe you can work things out, but this issue will always be present; for ever. Even if you stop cheating and decide to be monogamous she will still remain suspicious.

It’s better to leave her with some plausible deniability. If she really cares about you and the relationship, as long as she has plausible deniability, she will make herself wanting to believe you. Once you take that away from her, that ship has sailed and you will have to deal with reality. In my personal experience it’s best to break things off when you get caught. It will take a lot of “work at the relationship” to end up with a “light-version” of the original relationship at best.

Love and emotions can get very intense, if your girlfriend finds out you are cheating on her it will really hurt her. If you get caught by her friends that will even hurt her more, because not only has she been cheated on, her friends were the first to know about it.

So if cheating is the path you choose, avoid these top 5 mistakes and make sure you don’t get caught!

Share Article:
About the Author

TravelHardcore

I’m TravelHardcore, but people simply call me THC, although I don’t smoke. I speak several languages and suffer from insomnia. I left a well paying job, stuck in a miserable office to go out and see the world. I simply live for adventure. Cheers.

  • Nikola Cvrtnjak

    Great article… Tho, I believe the best thing is to not go into a (serious) relationship and avoid the drama. Not only that, but it kinda suck to cheat on and especially to be cheated (been there) :). Best thing is to be open from the start that you don’t want relationship and you are seeing other women. No drama, clean karma and everyone is in a win situation.

    • Mondevil

      That’s how my relationships are, but at the same time it’s important not to rub the fact that you are seeing other girls in her face. I just change the subject when she asks me about it and I don’t start anything with exclusivity.

    • That’s a very good point Mondevil. Even though you are upfront about seeing other girls, indeed you don’t want to rub it in her face.Don’t give her specifics (how many girls, how many times,…). Changing the subject a don’t give her details. And especially don’t leave your used rubbers on the night table when she visits.

    • You’re absolutely right NIkola, this article follows http://swooptheworld.com/should-i-be-in-a-relationship/
      I don’t look for “relationships” anymore, but everyone has to find his own way to reach that point.

  • 20Nation

    Sweet article THC. I think it almost compliments your last article “Should I be in a relationship?”

    • Thanks, it was inspired by it… It made me remember my old tricks from back in the day 😉

  • Smooth Operator

    Good article! From my experience I also learned:
    – If you cheat, you may feel guilty when you do it for the first time, and she may smell it as your behaviour will be a tiny bit different, better wait a couple of days before seeing her again.
    – If you almost get caught, she may bribe with “you’d better admit/tell it to me otherwise I can never trust you anymore in the future”. Don’t fall for this trap.

    • If you cheat of the first time it’s the hardest moment to control your body language. Good tip Smooth Operator. In that case you may want to do when you don’t have to see your girlfriend straight afterwards so you have some time to compose yourself.

      And indeed, never fall for this trap. Nor for the bluff trap “I already know, so you better come clean”

    • Nikola Cvrtnjak

      Women are good at this kind of crap of lying and not admitting, games etc… It’s funny how men think they never cheat and that they are angels (ohh shit, I was one of them :D). They just know how to hide it better than we do. That’s what I learned from my last relationship :D. Anyway, every time you learn something new, even from bad experiences 😉

    • Women are naturals. It’s part of their identity to have use believe they are these innocent little angels. But the more experienced you get, the you learn about them, the more you’ll see their true nature behind this facade. They are so much better at these things than us 🙂

  • Pingback: How To Cheat On Your Girlfriend | THECAPTAINPOWER.COM()

  • Ovid

    Another important point: make sure none of your thirsty beta friends (actually, as few of your friends as possible, one trusted friend as an alibi is sufficient) know what’s up. All it takes is one glance from your girlfriend, one pointed question, and they will most likely happily play White Knight and betray you without a moment’s hesitation. The fewer people who know, the fewer people can thoughtlessly say something to the wrong person. To you it’s a matter of supreme necessity for secrecy to be maintained. To them, at best it would be “best” kept quiet, but more likely, they’ll be pretty indifferent, because it doesn’t directly affect them one way or another in practice, it’s just a soap opera -and soap operas are fun to gossip about.

    Also, beware of public places, restaurants, businesses, etc. A chance encounter with the wrong person at some random hour at Wal-Mart can spell disaster if you’re in there with the wrong girlfriend at that particular time.

    Even if you have plausible deniability because you can always claim that her friend must have been mistaken about who she thinks she saw somewhere, you’re still screwed because now your girlfriend’s suspicions will be raised and you’ll have to cover your tracks that much more meticulously, increasing the likelihood that you’ll make a mistake.

    • Excellent points Ovid. If you’ve just smashed a hot new girl on the side don’t be tempted to brag to your friends but keep it to yourself, or only tell a close friend that shares the same mindset. Best that’s he is in the same situation as yourself even. You might be surprised by some of your “white knight” in disguise friends.

  • JJ Roberts

    To reference back to the last post here on power. No truly powerful man ever has to cheat on his girlfriend.

    If you want sexual variety and to have different women then simply refuse to be fenced and let me know why.

    Agreeing to be fenced and then hopping over the fence while she is not looking is weak sauce.

  • Pingback: In Case You Missed It: 12/8- 12/14 It’s Not Over Till You WIn Edition | Exceed and Lead()

  • Kurt

    Cool tips overall. In my experience, most guys who keep a steady FWB or “side chick” thing going on get caught. I usually just made the most of my alone time; when my gf was out of town or when I was away. There is no stress involved and no strings attached with one-nighters. The only time I ever almost got caught was when I brought a girl to my place(I usually coaxed them into going to their place, but this time I couldnt). I had my place prepped(as a precaution) but forgot to put back my gf’s bathroom stuff back in place. She found her goods in the small container, that i placed under the sink, in a cupboard. She presented it to me and i babbled out that I was cleaning. She didnt look convinced and played detective for an hour, checking the place over…that was a ball shrinker! Thank god I cleaned up. tip4!!!

    • It’s important to remain calm and keep a poker face. Great thinking on your feet, it’s amazing how our brain comes to the rescue in situations like this! It also helps if your gf is more or less gullible 🙂

  • Pingback: Should I be in a relationship? Live the life you want - SwoopTheWorld()

  • Nick

    It is pretty sad to expect honesty from a person and cheat on them. Double standards. Why not just have an open relationship instead of both committing to be loyal but one party is going to cheat? No trust, no basic decency.

  • Chris

    Hey

    I got caught cheating on my girlfriend over the summer. I was living in a different city than her and I met a smoking hot asian girl, as I was 22 living in my dads house and driving his porsche, I was meeting girls left right and centre. Unfortunately when I was visiting my girlfriend around September, we got in a huge fight (I was drunk) and as I was passed out she went through my phone and I didn’t realise photos deleted from the camera roll but saved in the photo stream. She found a naked photo of her in my bed. At first we tried to get over it. And it wsas going well for a stage but she found more messages to 2 other girls on my Facebook saved in the archives of me trying to sleep with a girl and one of where a girl messaged me saying I was horrible because she found out I had a girlfriend.

    Just the last few days I found out my girlfriend is actually dating another guy, and when I found out 2 days ago she was already sleeping with him and now she pretty much hates me. Its weird because there was a stage where she seemed like she still loved me and we were speaking the whole time.

    I am pretty devastated and really didn’t think I would be hurt this much. I feel like I completely screwed up as I didn’t like any of the girls i cheated on her with and my girlfriend is beautiful, clever and my best friend. Its even harder knowing she’s already dating someone else who will probably treat her much better.

    Im probably the worst cheater in history. Any feedback would be cool

  • Lauren

    Astonishingly stupid article. Come on guys, you’re better than this. If
    you want to bang multiple women, just do it, and leave the LTR’s to the
    men who really want them. This isn’t game. This is weak-ass, passive
    aggressive, immature bullshit. You want to be an alpha? Be assertive
    from the beginning, state clearly that you WILL be sleeping with other
    women and that a LTR is off the table. But lying to keep a girl in a
    faux-LTR, while you sneak around with other women like a child hiding from his mommy, is the ultimate
    high-school douche-nozzle move. Grow some goddamned honor, fellas.
    Otherwise, you are just part of the problem.

  • Andrew Bassett

    Excellent article. I was actually caught with a hickey that I didn’t even know that I had. It was toward the back of my neck so I didn’t notice in the mirror. I went to the bathroom and thought up an excuse. I told her “I think I know what it is”, and I went on to explain that I did heavy deadlifts the day before (true) and I hadn’t done them in a while (true). That I felt a slight muscle pull in my neck on the heavy lift and it must have been a blood vessel (not true but plausible). It was literally the perfect excuse and she bought it completely.

  • candice

    I caught all of my ex bfs cheating by thrush, rashes etc. Girls who want to have NSA sex usually do it with lots of guys so they normally will have something. You might take all the precautions you want, you might have one night stands but you’ll still get caught. If you don’t believe in monogamy just stay single. Simple as that. Have as many one night stands you want or even find a FWB who out of her choice wouldn’t like to be tied down in a relationship with you. It’s not going to be easy to live this lifestyle, but if you think about it better, it is not easy to cheat and hide and it is not easy to be monogamous. Even if you find that person who would stay with you monogamous while you are out cheating that won’t be fulfilling either. If you have to choose a path, choose one that you can do with integrity and honesty. It will be easier to follow.