Observations on Women
2013 has been an incredible year for me; I traveled a lot of countries across the world and smashed a lot of exotic girls.
In 2013 I banged well over 100 girls covering the entire spectrum of personalities: I met pure angels and I met some of the worst kind too; I smashed virgins and I smashed super sluts. From each interaction I got something.
In the past year I had some moments when I slowed it down and had a mini relationship, other times I maintained a group of regulars and sometimes I was smashing a few new girls a day (Full Month Cunt Hunt). I did exactly what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it.
Having this kind of variety not only in types of girls but also in the metre of intensity is the key to long term traveling and adventuring.
Since January is the month of reflection and making resolutions, I’ll look back on some observations I made from banging a large variety of girls.
1) Don’t waste time on chicks that are not interested
There’s a difference between a girl that’s not attracted to you yet versus a girl that is just not interested in you. You have to know what you are dealing with. Usually this will be clear from the very first interaction with her. If a girl is not interested in you don’t waste your time trying to convince her otherwise. For nearly all the girls I banged I had some sign of interest from the very start.
You are better off investing the time you spend trying to convince this one girl that’s not interested in you in finding 10 other girls that are. In fact the harder you try to convince that girl the worse you make it.
The few times I turned around a cold girl to being interested were actually by soft-nexting her. Sporadically keep in touch with her and only try to make a move again after a few months. Maybe her situation has changed and she’s now ready to meet you because you didn’t display any neediness at all during that time.
Don’t next a girl as soon as you reach an obstacle though; just be wise about your time investments and don’t prioritize the girls that are cold to you from the start.
2) It’s 100 times easier to find a new girl than to repair a fuck up
A lot of newbie questions on game are about how to fix a specific situation with a specific girl. And that is normal; it is in our nature as men to want to fix and repair things that are broken. But if you fucked things up with a girl, you are really better off forgetting about the whole affair and moving on to the next girl, where you can start off with a clean slate. Just learn from your mistakes!
Over the past year I fucked up a few times and lost some really cool girls.
Examples of fuck ups:
- Failing her shit tests
- Misreading her signals
- Going sexual too early
- Not pushing for sex enough
- Breaking your frame
- Acting incongruently
Some fuck ups can be corrected, if they are not too big and not too often, but once you reach a threshold and she classifies you as undesirable or unsuited, it’s game over. Trying to repair your mistakes will likely make you break your frame and come across as needy. Even if you manage to “repair” a situation you will have lost some of your power in the process and your relationship with her will never be the same again. Your weaker frame is now the new default.
The best repair when you fuck up with a girl is to move on.
3) You control whether you are put in a lover role or a provider role
You decide in which role you let yourself be put. You do not want to be put into the provider role even if you’re looking for a LTR (long term relationship). If she sees you as a provider, she will make you wait for sex and try to get you to spend on her and eventually she will find another man to fulfill the lover role.
You have to start out as being her lover, she will then start and try to convert you into a provider (the betaization process). But if you start out as her “provider”, you can no longer change into being her lover anymore.
Here are some of the mistakes that can get you labeled as a provider:
Providing for her
This holds up especially is she has means for herself but also if she doesn’t. I visited some really poor countries and sometimes it was tempting to just pay for things. You absolutely CAN help her out, some girls really couldn’t afford paying a taxi or public transport, but even in those situations you have to make sure she is not thinking of you as a way to get free stuff. You can help her but only after you have established a connection. E.g. if you meet a girl online it’s obviously a bad idea to buy her phone credits before you even met.
Trying to impress her with your means
Trying to impress a girl is a bad move anyway but trying to impress her with material things is even worse. The only thing you are achieving when you try to brag about your possessions or finances is getting her to think how much she can mooch off you.
Not being sexual enough
I made this mistake a few times and I always paid for it dearly. Like that last time, I had already banged a new girl and had a regular coming over later at night, so I was a little bit lazy with my current date. I got her to my room but during her LMR routine I got sick of it and thought: “Whatever, I’ll get her next time”. She interpreted this as me not being sufficiently sexual and sure enough next time I had a hard time getting her to meet up again.
She didn’t want to come to my place anymore: “I want to go to a dinner” / “I want you to take me to the movies”
You have to push for sex always and you have to get your LMR skills up to level.
Read some more thoughts on pushing for sex in my article on the Power Shift After Sex: http://swooptheworld.com/the-power-shift-after-sex/
4) You have to fuck her well on the first night
This fits in with being a lover rather than a provider. You have to be congruent with your role as a lover and be able to please her passionately.
After you go through the whole game of seduction and she has classified you as a lover and decided to give it up for you, it’s your turn to deliver and fuck her really well. If you want to see her again you have continue your lover frame in the bedroom; leave the romantic love making for her boyfriend or for when you know each other better – now it’s time for fucking her brains out.
Dominate her and let her feel dominated, she wants to be taken. Make her cum and make her feel like a woman.
Even if you don’t care of seeing her again, you have to make this your default performance for the first time you smash a girl, it’s just part of your frame
Read Fisto’s article how to use sex for more information.
5) Women lie more than men
We all know the beaten to death “opener” from the PUA-days of yore. The question is supposed to raise some controversy or polarized opinions, but to me this question is as debatable as “who menstruates more”? The more women you get to know and the more you learn about them, the more obvious this reality becomes.
Besides the normal lies everybody makes (men and women alike) women ADD two full categories of lies on top of these:
1) Justified lies that she doesn’t even register as lies
Women love to appear as innocent little angels and they will lie about anything that could damage this self view without giving it a second thought. Lies to protect this innocent identity are automatically justified and she doesn’t even consider them to be lies.
For example, it will be very rare for a woman to give you an honest answer on her number of previous sex partners (read Innocence is a weapon). Like that guy that banged her on her trip to Jamaica: “Didn’t count”, and that one time she was drunk: “That didn’t count either”, also that one time the guy just kept insisting: “Not her fault, so it doesn’t count”. These lies don’t even register as lies to her, because she made herself believe them.
2) Lies she doesn’t even realize she’s making
Another category of lies that women make are those they don’t even realize. Listen to every single description a woman gives about what her ideal man should be (sweet, caring, romantic, kind, a gentleman, etc.) or about what she wants (I don’t want sex on the first date, I only want a serious relationship, etc.). Only the fact is that the guy they get wet for doesn’t happen to portray these qualities. No, they are attracted to the guy that doesn’t fall for their bullshit, who’s not afraid to show his sexuality and who pushes for sex on the first date.
But can we really blame women for this? It’s just how they are programmed, right? Can we really blame the lion for eating a baby zebra?
We all have to accept our nature, but women are like lions prancing around the African savanna claiming they are vegetarian.
When you meet a lion you can trust on it’s not a vegetarian; the same way can trust that a woman is not as innocent as she would like to have you believe.
From all the girls I met, none of them were as innocent as they tried to appear. Read:
- Innocence is a weapon
- The Key Logger: A Forbidden Glimpse into the True Nature of Women
- The true nature of sluts
Don’t get fooled by her words or sweet appearance. Which brings us to the next point.
6) DON’T listen to a woman’s words, listen to her actions
As discussed in the previous point, women often have no clue that they are lying and some of their lies are not even registered as such; you can never take a woman’s words seriously.
In fact when you take a woman’s words literally or seriously, you will actually be losing attraction from her.
A perfect example of this is a girl’s ASD (anti slut defense) or LMR (last minute resistance). A woman will tell you “No, stop! I don’t want to have sex with you!” while she is helping you take of her pants in your bed. Should you actually listen to her, she will resent you for it. She will think “What a loser, how can he not understand the signals I’m sending him.”
Women EXPECT you not to listen to her words and instead read the signs that she’s sending you.
A great example was this girl I had met at a party, I ended up at her place but I forgot my condoms. She explained me in detail how to get to the 7-11 near her apartment to go and buy condoms; yet as I’m putting on my shoes to head out she tells me: “But we’re not going to have sex!!!” (full story here)
7) You can and should judge a woman by her past
The best predictor of future behavior is … past behavior
This maxim holds water especially when it comes to predicting a woman’s loyalty. The less men she has slept with before, the more likely she can be a loyal girl, with a huge drop in the curve between 0 and 1.
There are good girls, sluts and everything in between and it’s an illusion that many men love to adapt to believe they can change the nature of a girl. This illusion is false. A slutty girl can shift upward on the good girl scale, but only a little bit and with a clear time constraint. The bigger the slut, the smaller this behavioral shift is and the shorter this time window will be.
Your best guarantee to finding a girl that can remain loyal to you is to find a virgin. From all the girls I’ve slept with in the past year the girls that have been most trustworthy and loyal are the girls that were virgins.
In contrast, take Kanya for example, one of my regular girls in Thailand. I knew from the start she was a party girl but I demanded loyalty from her. Even though she was completely in love with me at that time, I later found out that she had “cheated” on me while I was out of the country for 2 weeks. Some girls crave male attention and they need it like they need oxygen. You cannot change that, you can only control it for a specific time.
You can’t turn a slut into a good girl, even if they are in love
It is up to you to find out what you want from a girl, if loyalty is important to you make no illusions about changing her nature and just accept your girls as they are.
Fisto wrote a great article on The Nature of Sluts that will be republished soon.
8) Drama is predictable
If you spend enough time with any girl drama is a guarantee. Do not believe that you can avoid it. There is no such thing as a stable, status quo relationship with a woman. Relationships are a battlefield where the woman will not cease to claim power over her man.
She will keep testing his frame to find weaknesses. A woman’s weapon of choice to do so is drama.
A good prediction on when to expect drama is ironically after you have been too nice to her. If a woman senses she’s gaining ground with you, she will try to anchor her gains by eliciting an emotional reaction from you. She will test your boundaries by starting drama. She doesn’t need a direct reason, if she doesn’t find a specific trigger, she will CREATE one. With the drama she will start making demands, e.g. to see her more often, to spend more time with her, to be monogamous, etc.
She’s testing your reaction to her irrational behavior.
An example from one of my Dominican girls:
It was the first time I had let her sleep over at my place. She was so happy and telling me how great I am and how much she loved me. She had just acquired a new privilege so I knew drama was coming. The next day I didn’t reply immediately to one of her messages (this had never been a problem, sometimes I wouldn’t respond to her for days) this time however, she started sending followup messages: “Why don’t you reply?! You never have time for me! OK, I will never see you again”.
So very predictable. If you’re girl is giving you drama always remember what is going on and don’t fall in the trap of trying to solve it with logic. It isn’t about the logic for her!
Read some more on drama in http://swooptheworld.com/the-secret-to-never-letting-a-girl-affect-your-frame/
There is no such thing as a drama free relationship with a woman: A red pill man can only rest in his grave.
9) Willingness to walk away & Calling her bluff
One of the best weapons for a man to keep the upper hand in a relationship with a girl is the willingness to walk away.
A woman can never feel like you need her more than she needs you. There is no such thing as a healthy, perfectly balanced relationship. One person will always have the upper hand, one person will always want the other more. You have to make sure that’s it’s you who has the upper hand.
A girl having the upper hand in a relationship is a recipe for disaster; a girl can’t be given power over you, she will immediately use it to claim more but she won’t be happy when she gets it. She’ll lose respect for you not being able to control her.
As soon as you are in some way dependent on a girl, emotionally or by other means, she WILL exploit this to establish power over you.
Emotional investment will be exploited
That is why you should never give her full security or commitment and always display a willingness to walk away from her and the relationship. The best way to do this is to have options for yourself. Always have many girls in your life. Never make one girl the priority in your life.
A lot of times women will bluff (drama: “you will never see me again!”) to test your reaction. If you have other girls to fall back on, you are much more likely to be unaffected and call out her bluff by showing your willingness to walk away. She will see her drama didn’t work and come back to you with increased attraction and commitment and the power balance in the relationship will remain.
Occasionally you may lose a girl and it sucks to lose one of your favorite girls, but you are better off losing a girl then being controlled by her.
You are better off losing a girl then being controlled by her
10) Women do NOT understand themselves and you can’t explain it to them
Women are unaware of all these messed up behaviors discussed above, they act impulsively on their emotions and then later try to rationalize their behavior trying to make sense of it all.
For science I have tried to explain the Red Pill theory and these observations to one of the most rational and logical (smart!) girls I have met so far; surprisingly she could relate to it. Less surprisingly this did not impact her behavior in the slightest way. I predicted her behavior to the letter and still with this information and the goal to proof me wrong she could not control her emotions and was ashamed to admit I was right. It’s a force stronger than rationality and logic.
More research data is required (working on it) – stay tuned for part two covering more observation.